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Test of Loyalty of a Woman in a Relationship is When The Man Has Nothing

Updated on December 16, 2016

A Woman's Loyalty is Tested When Her Man Has Nothing

This is an interesting topic because loyalty is becoming to come by as cheating has become a worrisome issue in contemporary world. Loyalty should also include respect and not to just simply walking out the door because your man has nothing. Difficult times will not only prove your loyalty, but will test your character and motivation for the relationship. What one has or doesn't have, doesn't have to determine the solidity of a relationship.

Well, unless you only married him for a meal ticket. Or unless he lost everything in a reckless way, like in a gambling. It's not about how much money he does or doesn't have, it's about the guy's attitude. If a man has nothing, and he is doing nothing about it, expecting chances to fall from the sky, and/or expect the woman to still support him, then there is need for serious discussion.

“My husband has nothing when I met him, and I still fell in love with him. I will always be loyal to him,” Mrs Ojo said. How many of you can say the same?

But some women have the habit of looking for only men that are materially blessed, although in reality it's awful hard to live on nothing. But if a man has nothing, but he is putting every ounce of his effort into getting something, the woman should stay and be supportive. But there should be a time frame. If he does not get his act together within the time frame, the woman should walk too.

Frank was a Sales Manager in a big ICT company. He read bachelor of marketing degree in University of Nigeria, Nsukka and master of business administration degree (marketing) in University of Benin. He was lucky to have graduated with first class. He was imposingly handsome. He was tall, dark-complexioned and slim. He knew how to dress. He was a reformed womanizer.

He’d duplex in Lekky Island. This is an area meant for the aristocrats. The duplex was lavishly furnished exotic furniture. He was crazy about beautiful, sophisticated ladies. Because he’d what it took, he attracted them the way honey attracted flies. Many girls in Lagos sought after the handsome and wealthy bachelor to date and possibly marry. Frank compensated them with generous cash gifts, sporadic shopping overseas and social outings.

It didn’t matter to him their social status: rich or poor nor did their marital status: single or married. Some of his girls belonged to renowned families with lots of prestige, money and connections. Others were from lower societal strata, and less wealthy. His parents looked on with growing apprehension as he went around creating emotional havoc among Lagos young and beautiful women. At a point his carefree life started to bother his parents so they pleaded with him to marry.

He decided to find the most suitable person amongst the women seeking for his attention. He started his annual leave, but didn’t tell any of them. He stayed at home from morning till night. When the girls came on their usual visits, he told them one after the other, “I’ve lost my job and unfortunately I’ve no savings.” He moved from his duplex to a friend’s two-room apartment. His friend had gone abroad to visit his parents. Many of the women were shocked.

He didn’t take them out as usual. Some of the girls never returned again

Frank snapped the book he was reading shut. He and Joyce had just had a big row which ended when she slammed the front door and walked out of the house.

“If you hadn’t lost your job we should have gone to the Shalamar Concert,” Joyce said.

“How can you be talking of musical concert, when I’m thinking of how to survive? You’re inconsiderate,” Frank complained.

Joyce was breathtakingly beautiful but she’d ungovernable temper. Her long, beautiful legs were the focal point of every male eye anywhere she went. She once destroyed Frank’s stereo when they had a misunderstanding. “Who wants to befriend a jobless guy?” she said angrily and stormed out of the room.

Ever since Frank lost his job, they had been fighting a lot. Frank pretended to be looking for another job. “No one is hiring and the few that are, have a lot of applicants applying for it,” he complained. He had no money to establish a private business, he claimed. The number of his female visitors dwindled. Frank kept mental record of the way each girl behaved.

At the end of second week, he drove his car to his office and packed it. He covered it with tarpaulin to avoid easy detection. He told his remaining girlfriends, “I’d an accident when I was going to attend an interview, and the car was damaged beyond repairs.” They sympathized with him. Others absconded remaining three.

Joyce came for another one week and stopped. This left Helen and Anthonia. Helen who used to help Frank do domestic chores stopped. She expected him to start cleaning, cooking and doing the groceries. These were chores she had done when he was working without complaining about it. She no longer felt she had to respect him because he had no money to squander on her. She wasn’t sensitive to his feelings.

Anthonia couldn’t be described as beautiful, but she was attractive. She’d a superb figure. She was slim, tall and fair complexioned. She dressed in well-fitting clothes. She was about twenty-one years old. Helen’s visits towards the end of his leave became more irregular, but Anthonia made hers daily.

She knew he hadn’t been out for a while and he had been looking forward to just meeting with his close friends, but a part of her was irritated that he thought it okay to go out only leaving her behind. Just as he was about to leave the house, he asked Anthonia if she could give him some money because he was a bit low on cash. She pretended not to have heard him. He asked her again and in an irritated tone she told him if he didn’t have enough money then maybe he should stay home and forget about going out.

She went on to say a lot of mean things to him. Her last statement to him was that she had lost respect for him ever since he could not provide for her. Frank listened to all she had to say without interrupting her and when she had finished, he reminded her of how he had provided for her in the past. He always gave her more than she ever asked him for happily. Even though he had been out of a job for 2 months, he’d not asked her for money before. This was the first time and she was already complaining about it.

Thinking about it after he left, she felt really ashamed of herself. She had not been the compassionate partner that she was made to be for him. Once Frank had lost his job, she had started resenting him and her respect for him dwindled on a daily basis. Like he reminded her, when he was working, he always gave her everything she asked him for. He never belittled her or made her feel like she was a burden. Tonight she had done both to him. She sat in the dark waiting for him to come back home and praying and hoping he would accept her apology and forgive her.

After that day, she spent her money buying gifts for Frank. She was an administrative officer in one of the oil companies. She knew Frank liked drinking, so she always bought him bottles of brandy. She always cooked for him and washed his clothes before she left. She begged Frank to take life easy because with his qualification he would secure another good job.

Frank met her in a party. He gave her his complimentary card and she promised to visit him; and she did. At the end of his leave, Anthonia had distinguished herself. “Money is not what I want in a relationship or a house or jewelry; I want mutual compassion between two people who love each other,” Anthonia said.

The other women later learnt he’d resumed in the office, where he told them he’d been sacked. He went back to his duplex. They couldn’t understand what was happening. Some went to Frank for explanation. It was then he told them, “It’s a test of your sincerity and the love you’ve for me. I was never sacked and I never had any accident. Anyone's loyalty towards someone is tested when that someone is in a time of need or a difficult situation, so yes, of course this was proved here. ”

They wept and begged to be given another chance but Frank declined. He engaged Anthonia. Plans for their wedding started immediately. This became a proof that, “A woman’s loyalty is tested when her man has nothing.” It is easy to love our spouse when things are going well, when he is in good health, financially stable, and you are blessed with children. Some women are very quick to forget the good times once the bad times hit. They tend to focus on the negative. When things go wrong you need to be patient with your spouse and persevere in working through the difficult time.

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      I don't believe there is such as thing as "unconditional love" other than that of God's love for mankind or a parent's love for their child.

      People choose their mates based upon them meeting a certain criteria. This explains why just anyone won't do. We all have our own "list" of requirements. Too often we see instances of people pulling a "bait & switch" in order to win someone over. After you become emotionally invested they reveal their "authentic selves". This could be material or affection changes.

      It's one thing as you say if a man suddenly falls on hard times and another if he was only presenting the "illusion" that he was doing well in the first place.

      Each of us is responsible for our own happiness. Our choices make all the difference in our lives.

      If one reaches the point where they don't love their mate, resent them, or are considering cheating on them then it would be more dignified to walk away. He/she would much more appreciate being with someone who is truly "in love" with them for who they are and not what they have.

    • Chuksm profile image
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      Anthony Modungwo 2 years ago from Benin

      dashingscorpio it is great reading your comment again. I am trying address women who are in relationship for only what they want to get. Love should not be a "cash and carry" issue. Partners should love each other based on what they are not on how much they have to expend. True love should not be bought.

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