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- Non-Monogamous Relationships
A Casualty of Casual Intercourse
Are you a victim or have been one from casual sex? How does it feel? Are you rather blase about it and simply disconnected? Is it someone you have known not more than 24 hrs?
The airwaves in all forms of media point to that having casual sex, by any definition, is no big deal. Listen to almost any kind of music tweens or teens listen to and be prepared to be shocked. Some of the songs (rap songs are notorious) promote one night stands, no relationships, and drum a steady theme of sex messages like, "passion in my pants", "Doing it in the backseat", "Hey boy, can't get it up", "Alien sex, I'm going to probe you". The mix of sex messages when combined with some very catchy melodies and music make the casual sex messages like a mantra.
It makes you wonder about what kind of adults they will become. Many adults, of course, are already there. They meet somewhere, share some good times, smile and hook up for sex of some sort, somewhere. After the sex, they share some time and say thanks, see ya later. Not much better or more satisfying than a prostitute, except it was free. Even though it did satisfy a physical need, the emotional and love was absent. Even having a real casual relationship with the sex partner become problematic if one party wants more, wants real love. If the other party has not interest, they become a casualty of casual sex.
That is one type of casualty. Then, there is the more serious STD outcome that can ruin your remaining life, all from just from a quickie because in the heat of the moment precautions were "tossed to the wind". It is about the last thing on anyone's mind-but it has got to be!
There is still a more personal casualty of casual sex- yourself. No matter how much of a facade you use to cover your own inner personal feelings, there is a lack of respect for yourself. Wherever that feeling came from, that feeling of not feeling real love, makes you continue doing the same thing. Maybe in the casual sex lifestyle you will find real love, the kind you see in movies and in real life.
If you spent your 20's in casual sex adventures, but by the 30's, you seriously wonder if real love will be ever found. Like anything in life, the casual sex becomes routine. It becomes horribly disconnected, void of meaning. You meet, have fun, do it and then their gone. Then, its on to the next one. You become cynical about love.
If short term, casual sex is fine as long as some sort of relationship exists. But just doing it to fill a need without wanting a relationship indicates something is seriously wrong with you as a human being.