Journey Through a Hindu Marriage Ceremony

Hindu Marriage Ceremony is more than a simple wedding function. It is not merely a simple formality of uniting the bride and groom, but a union of two families. It involves many religious and traditional ceremonies bringing both families together for an everlasting relationship. It is an occasion of great festivities, celebrations, and enjoyment for all participants.

In this article, I am giving an account of a recent marriage function I attended in Hyderabad city of India. It is the marriage of my younger brother's son, who recently completed his MBBS course, with a girl one-year junior in the same field. They came in contact through a matrimonial site 3, or 4 months back upon which their parents met each other to fix the marriage.

• The engagement Ceremony takes place immediately after the groom and bride and their family members mutually agree for the relationship of marriage.
• An auspicious time is fixed for this ceremony by the priests of both sides.
• The groom generally goes to the bride's house at that particular time as fixed by the priest along with his parents. The engagement is agreed upon through the exchanging of large plates containing sweets, and clothes, along with some jewelry, flowers, betel leaves, fruits, etc.
• The groom and bride exchange the rings as an acceptance of the marriage proposal. Thereafter, the wedding date gets fixed.

After the engagement ceremony, both parties of Bride and Groom prepare the marriage invitation cards after fixation of the auspicious time for marriage through priests of both sides.

The cards mention the date, time, and venue of the marriage, with a request for the presence of the invitees. The eldest members of the family normally make this request with their names appearing as solicitors.

The first card is placed in front of God seeking His blessings.

Some close relatives get invited personally. It is done by the parents or the eldest siblings of both parties. They visit the relative's house and present the card in their hands with due respect.

The remaining cards are dispatched to other relatives and friends, as early as possible, so that they get informed to attend the marriage on time.

16th May 2015

Groom making and Bride making are the first ceremonies that take place 3 or 4 days before the actual marriage at the respective houses of groom and bride.

It is a ceremony proclaiming the groom or the bride to be as such to all relatives and neighbors in front of some close relatives attending the ceremony. Women are the necessary guests for this ceremony.

This ceremony is performed within some auspicious time fixed by the priests according to the convenience of both parties. It takes place at the same time in both houses. The groom or bride takes an oil bath, wears new clothes, and then offers prayers to God along with their parents. They are decorated in the presence of close relatives and members of the family with the accompaniment of nadaswaram ( a melodious musical instrument) being played by proficient musicians. Turmeric paste is the most important part of the makeup. It is applied to the feet of the groom and bride. Then a mixture of turmeric paste with lime paste is done for designs made to the edges of feet and toes. The bride gets beautiful designs made on her palms also. A younger brother of the groom (either own or cousin) is also made as a side groom who will be treated as such till they reach the marriage venue on the marriage day. The bridal party will also have a side bride in the same manner until that time.

Both the bride and the groom are not allowed to leave their houses until actual marriage time arrives.

Refreshments and meals are arranged to all participants of this ceremony. Elderly and married women sing religious songs and children perform dances or play games and enjoy the whole day.

17th & 18th May 2015

After being declared as the groom on May 16th, the groom is treated with great respect and considered to be an auspicious person. Every day until the wedding, he is offered Aarti, which involves showing him light from oil-lit wicks that were first offered to God. He gets ready every day after his morning bath, as shown in the video above. The women sing songs, and children dance and play with him, creating a festive atmosphere. Refreshments, meals, drinks, fruits, and sweets are offered to all the relatives and friends of the groom who are participating in the celebrations.

The groom feels very happy, joyful, and entertained in this atmosphere and all his relatives and friends also enjoy these occasions merrily.

The same celebrations occur at the bride's place also.

19th May 2015

A day before the marriage, the groom along with his family members and relatives starts for the marriage venue. Some other rituals need to be performed in the evening at the venue before the actual marriage ritual happens which has been fixed for early morning the next day.

The morning rituals were conducted as usual as on the other 3 days that are mentioned above. We started for the marriage venue after having our lunch in the A/C bus booked for this purpose. The groom traveled in a car, well decorated for this purpose, along with some small children at an auspicious time fixed for the travel (around 3 pm), and we went behind him in a bus. The venue was at the other end of the city near the bride's house. A journey of 20 km. On reaching the venue, the bride's family members welcomed the groom and others by lighting crackers and showering flowers and spraying scents accompanied by nadaswaram music.

It was a great function hall with a 1500 seating capacity. The stage was decorated aesthetically with natural settings. The front rows of seating with around 300 seats were of cushions made for close relatives and friends of the bride and groom. The other 1200 seats were normal chairs. There were a/c rooms, two each for the groom's family and bride's family, and a very large common hall upstairs was filled with beds on the floor for others to rest in the night. The entrance side and one end of the venue were full of green plants grown mostly in pots. The backside of it was the dining hall with a large space to cater to 500 people at one time. Everything was gorgeous and appealing.

During the actual Welcome ceremony, the Groom and his members are offered refreshments before moving to the marriage stage. The Groom sits on an elevated seat between his parents. Vedic hymns/mantras are chanted, while the Bride's parents pay respects to the Groom by offering tilak, aarti, and a gold-colored artificial garland to him and his parents. As a token of honor, colorful towels are also offered over their shoulders. Finally, the priest reads out the marriage invitation card to the Bride's family members.

Each family member and other close relatives of the Groom's party get introduced to the bride's family and they also get garlanded and honored with towels by the bride's parents.

The same process takes place with the bride also.

She gets due respect from the groom's family and her family's invitation card also is read out to the groom's members. Her family members are introduced to the groom's relatives.

Now, both the Groom and Bride are made to stand opposite to each other some seven feet apart. They are handed over flower garlands and asked to garland each other by approaching the other.

At this stage, each of them pretends to approach the other in a very slow motion as each of them wants the other person to act first. After some entertainment and teasing of each other, the priest and the elders ask them to act quickly.

Friends and siblings of the groom and bride lift each other high so that the other cannot reach the head of the bride or the groom to garland her/him.

Having enough of this fun, they bow their heads and allow it to be garlanded.

20th May 2015

In the early morning of a traditional wedding ceremony, the groom takes an oil bath and gets ready for puja at one side of the stage. The priest chants Vedic hymns and guides the groom, along with his parents, in performing the puja. After the puja or worship is over, the groom suddenly proceeds on a Kashi yatra, as if he is afraid of taking responsibility for married life. It is believed that there are two ways of attaining moksha (reaching heaven or God's abode): through marriage or asceticism. The groom thinks it's easier to lead an ascetic life than getting married. So this Kashi yatra to lead an ascetic life has become a formality during marriages.

The groom feigns a journey to Kashi, a sacred place for Hindus, carrying an umbrella and a stick to lead a solitary life there. The groom's brother or father intervenes and persuades him to abandon his plan, marry the girl, and live a happy life together, ultimately achieving moksha (enlightenment) with her. They offer him sweet jaggery to calm him down and then bring him back to the wedding venue.

After completing the Kashi Yatra, the groom is taken to the marriage stage where he sits with his parents and the actual marriage ceremony begins. The bride and her parents then perform a puja while Vedic chants are recited by the priest and the background music of naadaswaram plays. As the auspicious time approaches, the priest instructs that the bride be brought to the stage.

The bride's maternal uncle and brothers carry her in a beautifully decorated basket to the venue. When she arrives, a curtain is held between the bride and groom so they do not see each other until the auspicious ceremony takes place.

During a traditional Hindu wedding, the priest chants Vedic mantras at the auspicious moment of Lagna. The bride and groom are then given a paste made of cumin and jaggery, which they exchange and place on each other's heads. At this moment, the curtain is removed and the nadaswaram is played loudly, signifying the most important moment of the marriage. As a sign of their blessings to the couple, all the people gathered there shower the turmeric mixed rice on the heads of the groom and bride.

After the completion of the wedding ceremony, the next ritual involves tying the Mangala Sutra, which is made up of two round gold plates entwined in a turmeric thread, around the bride's neck. This is followed by the Homa ceremony, where a sacred fire is ignited and ghee and nine types of food grains are offered into it. The gods of all eight directions are worshipped during this ceremony.

Next, the bride and groom take seven steps around the sacred fire while chanting Vedic hymns and accompanied by the melodious music of nadaswaram. During these seven rounds, the couple takes oaths to lead a harmonious life together, sharing each other's happy and sad moments.

After the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom participate in a game to determine who is more dominant. They search for a golden ring that is immersed in water. Following this, the 'talambralu' ceremony takes place, during which both the bride and groom shower turmeric mixed rice over each other's head. This is done to determine who is more intelligent between the two. In some cases, they may willingly yield to the other person during the ceremony.

The below-linked video is from an episode of a TV serial on Gemini TV which depicts some of the rituals followed on the marriage day in our Hindu customs. It is a brilliant source for knowing about detailed rituals of our Hindu marriage ceremonies. I am very thankful to the Producer, Director, and story writer of this serial for so beautifully depicting the rituals in their Telugu serial titled "Sravana Sameeralu" (episode 803 dated 28/06/2016).

The marriage ceremonies are over, and it's now time for the send-off ceremony at 6 PM on May 20th, 2015. The bride's saree end hanging over her shoulder is filled with rice and tied in a knot. She cooks half of the rice for the groom's family and returns the other half to her parents when they visit her. The bride's parents give several containers of sweets and food items to the groom's family to establish her family-life there. One of the bride's family members accompanies her to the groom's house.

On reaching the groom's house, the sisters or cousin sisters of the Groom offer aarti to the new couple and then the couple are asked to tell their partner's name before entering in.

Thereafter, all people are offered drinks, sweets, and fruits and enjoy until dinner time.

Next morning, the couple perform a ritual known as vrat or vratam (Satyanarayana puja and stories revealing the powers of this puja and the importance of prasad). This is done by offering coconuts at the end of each chapter. A sweet dish is prepared for offering to God as prasad on completion. Then it is distributed to all the participants of the occasion.