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Do You Lack Self Confidence?

Updated on August 7, 2014
donotfear profile image

Annette Sharp holds a BAAS in Behavioral Science from Texas A&M. She is a counselor and motivator with an empathetic heart.

Are You Lacking in Self Confidence?

Not everyone was born with a natural instinct to stand up for themselves with boldness and confidence. It all depends on how you were modeled during your childhood. There is light at the end of the tunnel! Sometimes, all it takes is the right words spoken at the right time in the right place.

I'm sharing a short story of how I built self-confidence. I pray you find solace and energy to renew your strength.

 Katrina Recovery Project Members
Katrina Recovery Project Members

An Unusual Pair

While working as an Outreach Worker for the Katrina Recovery Project, a FEMA funded program that offered counseling for hurricane survivors, I was placed with an unlikely partner.

Pinkie was my exact opposite. While I was outgoing and expressive, she was reserved and blunt.

Building Your Confidence and Self Esteem

My partnership with Pinkie would play a major role in the changes that were about to take place in my life. As we traveled the roads in our area searching for hurricane survivors, our relationship transformed into something different. While I was fighting to understand recent losses I’d suffered and another unexpected bout of severe depression, she displayed a sense of spirituality and quiet wisdom I’d lost. As my depression lifted, I began to look forward to our daily routine. I asked for Pinkie’s input and opinion concerning several situations. What she gave me was a bit of advice….

“Stand up for yourself!” she declared, “Don’t let somebody put you down!”

Regain Your Self Esteem

As she shared her experiences, I began to realize how I’d allowed myself to become a victim. My eyes opened when I finally understood the enormity of my beaten condition.

I regained my self-esteem and changed into who I was before: a whole individual with a right to my emotions, feelings, and opinions. I realized I couldn’t change how people treated me, but I could change how I reacted! And that’s exactly what I did!

"Thank You for Calming the Storm"

Releasing unhealthy attachments brings freedom and peace.
Releasing unhealthy attachments brings freedom and peace.

Learn From Others Confidence

I saw Pinkie, recently, and learned she’d been very ill. But her faith in God and her fighting will pulled her through! I’ll never forget her self-esteem and how she helped me regain mine.

Today, I remain steadfast in my endeavor to encourage others to overcome obstacles in life. If it weren’t for God and individuals like Pinkie, things may have turned out differently. Now I’m victorious! !

Steps For Building Self Confidence:

Just remember: you aren't looking for someone else's approval.

1.) Be true to yourself.

2.) Do what feels right in your heart.

3.) Tell yourself daily you have the ability to succeed.

4.) Pray and meditate on positive things.

5.) Do good for others; it's cleansing.

6.) Breath deeply and remind yourself that God made you special for a reason.

And last but not lease, remember that your talents may be hidden. If you look deep enough, you will find the courage and self-confidence to build your self esteem to the place where Nature intended.


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    • Ramzeed profile image


      7 years ago from Maryland

      A very good write indeed. People change people but only if we allow them to change us and in your case it benefited you.

    • donotfear profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Thomas 

      8 years ago from Northeast Texas

      Celestelliv: You are so welcome. I'm glad to have touched you.

    • Celestelliv profile image


      8 years ago

      A story so close to my heart...Thanks for sharing

    • donotfear profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Thomas 

      8 years ago from Northeast Texas

      pastor carlotta: Thank you!! I'll see you very soon.

    • drpastorcarlotta profile image

      Pastor Dr. Carlotta Boles 

      8 years ago from BREAKOUT MINISTRIES, INC. KC

      Wonderful Hub, donotfear you deeply inspired me. God Bless you! Hey when you get a chance, come visit me. Be BLESSED!!!

    • donotfear profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Thomas 

      8 years ago from Northeast Texas

      sherrylou: Thank you ever so much. I'm happy to inspire others!

    • sherrylou57 profile image


      8 years ago from Riverside

      Amen! You are a light to where there is darkness!! Thank you for you beautiful inspiration! Life is a journy and what you do on your way is what counts!!

    • donotfear profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Thomas 

      8 years ago from Northeast Texas

      jennshealthstore! Wy thank you. Yes, it is amzing how things sometimes fall together so well. Glad you were inspired.

    • jennshealthstore profile image

      Jennifer M 

      8 years ago from Florida

      It is amazing how the right people come into our lives at the right time. That is a wonderful story!

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 

      8 years ago from home

      Thought is what proves we exist... i think (tee hee).

    • donotfear profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Thomas 

      8 years ago from Northeast Texas

      tom hellert: Thank you for your comment. I'll certainly go to your hub and 'try to think of somenthing'.

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 

      8 years ago from home

      Wwritten gwell-good message but please tell me what can you say to say to someone who has seen the Kingdom of Heaven felt its peace and was told- "it's not yoour time-".? Then was thrown back into a broken shell of your former self- how does one escape the that message? What can I derive from it ? Read my 3 part Hub and you will get the whole picture...Just asking a faithy- mentally-smarty person (meant in a good way) what YOU think...

    • donotfear profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Thomas 

      8 years ago from Northeast Texas

      Jennifer: Appreciate it......

    • Jennifer Lynch profile image

      Jennifer Lynch 

      8 years ago from Stowmarket, Suffolk.

      Thank you, this is very good.

    • donotfear profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Thomas 

      8 years ago from Northeast Texas

      ASFA123: It's good to know we can rely on Him to supply ALL our needs. He is the Healer, we merely must give it to Him FIRST, then He will do the rest.

    • ASFA123 profile image


      8 years ago

      anyone can be cured from mental illness by trust on our loving GOD

    • donotfear profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Thomas 

      8 years ago from Northeast Texas

      James: I'm so glad to have shared this with you. I like what you say here: True self esteem is earned, not given.

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 

      8 years ago from Chicago

      God Bless You for helping those in distress. I am opposed to the phony self-esteem vision in our educational system. It is better to tell children: you want self-esteem? Then when you lie on your deathbed make sure the way you lived your life makes those around you say, he/she was a good father/mother, sister/brother, son/daughter, friend, loved one. That is true self-esteem. It is earned not given. Thank you!

    • donotfear profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Thomas 

      8 years ago from Northeast Texas

      Debilyn: Thank you for your glowing comment!

      susanlang: Thanks for the read.

      deepthinker: Glad to have inspired you.! You ask what I do in mental health....well, my title is QMHP (Qualified Mental Health Professional) but I do mental status assessments on clients in crisis situations (suicidal, psychotic, delusional, etc). I get to interview, assess, and make recommendation on whether to send to psych hospital or not. I DO NOT diagnose, I don't have the qualifications. Simply, I'm a 'screener'. I also handle court commitments. Contact me any time.

    • deepthinker76 profile image


      8 years ago from South Carolina

      I feel better and inspired for having read this. Thank You for posting it. May I ask what you do in the mental health field? I am in college for psychology and wanted to get a few answers.

    • Debilyn profile image


      8 years ago from Garden City, MI

      This is such a wonderful testament to how God brings people into our lives when we least expect it and how much of an impact we can have on others. God bless both you and Pinky for your genuinely loving hearts. The world is a better place because of you two.

    • Art 4 Life profile image

      Art 4 Life 

      8 years ago from in the middle of nowhere....

      Great hub, and I love your new avatar! Very nice....Pinkie sounds like a great person!

    • donotfear profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Thomas 

      8 years ago from Northeast Texas

      poetlorraine: I give Pinkie 5 stars! I wish you could meet her too. Thank you for the positive comment.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      three cheers for pinkie, wish i could meet her. brilliant hub

    • donotfear profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Thomas 

      8 years ago from Northeast Texas

      Ladyjane1: Thank you. Glad you enjoyed.

      breadfastpop: I appreciate your well wishes!

      Deborah: You are quite welcome!

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 

      8 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      Thanks for sharing a glimpse into your life.


    • breakfastpop profile image


      8 years ago

      Extremely articulate and important hub. I am happy for you.

    • ladyjane1 profile image


      8 years ago from Texas

      Very good hub and very well spoken. Cheers.

    • donotfear profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Thomas 

      8 years ago from Northeast Texas

      heart4theword: Thank you very much for your input. Getting beaten down by others is so self-defeating, but rising above it is freeing!

    • heart4theword profile image


      8 years ago from hub

      Yes, we can get pretty beaten down, hearing other peoples opinions? Learning to respond, rather than re-act, is a good thing:) I know many times in my own life, with out God to sustain me, my life would of fell apart. Encouraging Hub!

    • donotfear profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Thomas 

      8 years ago from Northeast Texas

      Dom Shadows: I love your mannerisms! You are too cool! I'll work on that article about 'quick tempers'...hold your horses!

      Hello: I'm glad you were inspired and could relate. You have true insight.

      gusripper: As always, you're very deep. Thank you.

      maven!: You are very welcome, my friend!

    • donotfear profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Thomas 

      8 years ago from Northeast Texas

      thevoice: Thank you for enjoying my hub.

      RecoverToday: Glad you enjoyed.

      Veronica: I'm always pleased when you respond so postitively. You yourself are an inspiration and true kindrid spirit. Thank you!

    • maven101 profile image


      8 years ago from Northern Arizona

      Thank you for sharing this with us...inspirational...Larry

    • gusripper profile image


      8 years ago

      Soul touch.Thanks for sharing

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 

      8 years ago from London, UK

      Thank you for your most inspiring hub. I was at the same stage but had to pull myself up. I know what it feels like.

    • DomShadows profile image

      Dom Shadows 

      8 years ago from Zanesville, Ohio

      You have a very good out look on things. It seems that way to me. I admire thing's like this, writings. It helps me stop to think for a moment to analyze myself. What steps am I taking? you know? Well Said. I admire people as a whole who seem to have a way with words. Would you happen to have anything on quick tempers? =)

      You gotz' some mad skilletz girl....

      LOL.. Sry..

    • Veronica Allen profile image

      Veronica Allen 

      8 years ago from Georgia

      This really impresses on my mind that you never know who God will put in your path to help you get through lifes ups and downs, or teach you a life lesson.

      It too took me some time to come to the conclusion that while you can't change how people treat you, you can change how you react to it. Even now I have to remind myself of this.

      Thank you for sharing this with us.

    • RecoverToday profile image


      8 years ago from United States

      This is a very good story of gaining back what was lost. Thank you for sharing it.

    • thevoice profile image


      8 years ago from carthage ill

      smart terrific hub read write thanks


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