- Gender and Relationships
A Major Personality Malfunction
I Speak Before Thinking
I have a major personality malfunction. I tend to speak before I think. My mouth seems to go into overdrive before the gears of my brain have engaged.
This inclination has gotten me into hot water on many occasions.
In fact, my employment at certain places has been terminated because of this practice. The problem seems to stem from the reality I am extremely honest.
People apparently have a predisposition to hearing truth…especially about themselves. More so if the truth involves revealing some dishonest practices they may have been involved in. Or if this character trait of mine would hinder a hidden agenda of some sort as long as I was around.
Thus, the pink slip is issued along with trumped up charges of wrongdoing on my part. I’ve learned to deal with individuals meeting these criteria, but their actions still aggravate me to no end.
Honesty in Employment
My last two places of employment have been with Christian nonprofit organizations where honesty as a condition of employment should have been compulsory. But alas, it wasn’t. The powers that be realized my presence would end their “gravy train”. So regardless of the facts I no longer am employed with these places. The point is moot, since I would have soon tendered my resignation anyways. I don’t wish to associate with these types. Am I alone in feeling this way?
However, the problem of speaking before I think has always been a thorn in my side…as well as others. My personality deems it necessary for me to be blunt, direct and to shoot from the hip, so to speak. This caused a few problems in the past with family members…my wife in particular. The truth seemed an elusive point with her.
I recall several instances where my speaking directly to the point hurt other peoples’ feelings. One involved my grandmother. She was an LPN at a nursing home for many years but had also taken some cosmetology training as a hair dresser. It became apparent why she was now a practicing LPN instead of being a hair dresser.
My wife, “Tommie”, and I lived with my grandmother many years ago shortly after I was discharged from military service. Tommie and she were having a discussion about being a beautician. It seems my wife had been entertaining the idea of getting a permanent.
Grandmother was quick to offer her services and she readily accepted. Had I been home at the time I could have warned her. But, I wasn’t so I was unable to ward off the impending disaster.
Apparently grandmother had left the perm solution set longer then it should have…a lot longer. Upon my return I was greeted to the spectacle of my wife and a frizzy hairdo resembling more of a brillo pad than a perm.
Grandmother fished for my opinion on the matter. I don’t remember exactly what my reply was but suffice it to say it wasn’t complimentary. My straight forward remarks hurt my grandmother, I’m sure. My poor wife had to wear a scarf for the next two months.
I also had a bad habit of repeating things other people said about someone. However, this is one problem I seemed to get a handle on.
On one occasion my older sister had made a comment describing an in-law I had not yet met. The person in question was a really sweet woman liked by all. But my sister’s description of her involved the use of the word “Prissy”. And when I met her the term seemed to fit, but in a nice way.
But my mouth once again had a life all its’ own and once again my foot went into it. “You’re right Sis…she is a little prissy”.
My sister must’ve felt terrible since she adored this woman. Of course, I was to pay for that socially unacceptable blunder!
Therefore, I find it a problem of knowing when to speak and when not to. An old adage comes to mind which sums it up. “Should you remain quiet and be thought stupid, or speak and remove all doubt”?