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How To End An Abusive Relationship

Updated on March 9, 2014

Are you in an emotionally abusive relationship? It's been said emotional abuse is worse than physical because the words stick more to your mind and heart for years to come. How can you get out of a bad relationship? 1) educate yourself 2) understand the lies and deceit 3) value yourself and 4) take steps

Abusive people have certain traits whereby they try to make you feel you are to blame for everything and even cause you to undermine your own intelligence or your own actions, doubting your own sincerity and falling under their complete control. Someone who is codependent or addicted to being with another may put up with a lot.

How does this person make you happy and what do they do to make you unhappy? Do the pros outweigh the cons?

Traits of the abusive, manipulative, controlling person

Stage One:

  • Praise you
  • Give you things you like
  • Get to know you
  • Earn your trust

Stage Two:

  • Lower your self esteem
  • Cut you off from your friends
  • Be needy and get you addicted to them

Making plans to end your abusive relationship

  1. Take at least two weeks off from that person
  2. Visit friends/family/supportive people and stay with them awhile
  3. Do not call or have any contact with the person
  4. Discourage them by acting very religious, or strange, crazy, or unstable

Other things you can do to move on

  1. Make sure you're working or busy all the time
  2. write in a journal
  3. go to a support group

You have the power to say goodbye

You have the strength to speak clearly and slowly and deliberately "NO!"

Untie loose ends

--get rid of any joint accounts

--get back the keys or change your lock

--don't let them get mail or store anything at your place

--move out


you cannot change anyone but yourself

Stop dreaming that he/she will change

Change Yourself

make a pros and cons list

(Why do you want them out of your life?)

Don't be friends. You won't be able to move on. It could give them influential power over you also.

Don't give in even a little, ever hear "If you give an inch, they will take a yard?"

Support Groups for people who have been emotionally and verbally abused, click here.

Abusive relationships:

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    • poetryman6969 profile image

      poetryman6969 4 years ago

      congratulations to the survivors who have freed themselves from this mental and physical prison.

    • schoolgirlforreal profile image

      schoolgirlforreal 5 years ago

      Thank you Alex Jose,

      I wrote it to bring awareness to emotional abuse!

    • Alex Jose profile image

      Alex Jose 5 years ago from Cleveland, Ohio

      Even i went through this phase at point in life and pray for the ones who are going through it now. This hub is a very big eye opener and has some really great information as well so voted up as interesting.

    • schoolgirlforreal profile image

      schoolgirlforreal 6 years ago

      Thanks realtalk, glad to have you comment.

      @mours, true. many will never get help.

    • profile image

      mours sshields 6 years ago from Elwood, Indiana

      Great info! Unfortunately, there a lot of people out there like this!

    • realtalk247 profile image

      realtalk247 6 years ago

      Great hub. I think this will help people who are experiencing this situation and I pray they act on these activities before it's too late.