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A Man's Guide: Online Dating Tips
This article is for the guys out there. I'm writing this to dominate this category because I feel that the current articles are full of crap. Basically the hubs in this category so far are mostly weak, vague spam. They're making Hubpages look bad. It's embarrassing. Not only will I rise to the top in this section, I'm also going to help you get better at online dating. Online dating is easy. Let's begin.
Yeah, some of you guys reading this are thinking, "This guy's 23, what does he know about online dating? He has no experience." Oh yeah? Think twice about that. Yes, I am 23 but I've been in my current long-term relationship for 5 years, going on 6. I met my girlfriend online. That's over 20% of my life. Now that we got your doubts out of the way, lets talk about principles.
There Are No Rules
Only principles. What do I mean? Rules are confining. They destroy free will and creativity. What works for me may not work for you. I give advice to my good friend. I will never tell him to do anything. I would only suggest. He's a grown man and so are you. You can make decisions for yourself. You can do whatever you want. Having said that, you'd be wise to pay attention from here on.
First Thing's First
You have to join a social network. If you are on a social network already, clear your account. Delete all the crap, widgets, flash music players, etc. Delete your profile description and all things relating. We are going to start from scratch and I'm going to walk you through this. Social networks have reputation that reflects onto you. Myspace seems to be for the younger audience while Facebook is more geared to the older, more mature demographic. Join both. Myspace seems to be more opened. This is good. More girls finding you equals more options. Your page is going to be a billboard. You are advertising a product: Yourself!
I don't like the idea of "dating networks" like Eharmony. I think that by joining these sites, you show neediness and desperation. You can join them if your social circle is small or if you are an older cat. By older, I mean 35 years and up. These types of networks take away the element of mystery. Women have this secret fantasy of finding someone at a "normal" place. Supermarkets, laundromats, in like at Dunkin Donuts. Whatever, you get me? The same principle goes with online dating. "Normal" sites like Myspace and Facebook will play into that element better than Eharmony or Match.com. Now I know some women may be reading this. Go on, tell me I'm wrong.
This is the hook that brings the ladies onto your page. Looks matter. Don't think otherwise. I'm not going to kid you. If you are ugly, you're not going to have much luck. If that's too mean for you and I've hurt your feelings, you should do yourself a favor and X this page out. This will also reflect on your self-image.
For the rest that are still following me, take some good pictures. Get a good camera and take a good picture. If you do not have a good camera, borrow one from a friend. Get your friend to take the photos for you. When this happens, ask for advice and feedback. "How do I look?" Ask your friend to tell you how to pose. My friend is a good photographer and although some poses feel uncomfortable, they do look good in picture. Get a girl to take the picture if you can. Girls are more than happy to help you look "pretty". Here are some rules to consider:
- Do not take a picture with your shirt off. Risky. You come off as needy. If you're not hot, you fail.
- Do not take a picture of yourself sitting down on a couch with a beer in your hand. You are not "chill" or "laid-back". Those suckers are a dime a dozen.
- Do not take a picture of yourself throwing the middle finger. You are not bad ass.
- Do not edit your pictures. Don't put star bursts, or effects. You want your pictures to be raw and real.
- Do take lots of pictures from different angles.
- Do take a good face shot and quarter profiles.
- Take shots on different days in different clothes.
- do be original. Take some action shots. Do you play sports? Take some shots of that? Do you bike? Do you surf? Skate? Take some shots of that.
- Smile. Everyone looks better smiling. A good smile can disarm the most cautious person.
Fill Out Your Profile
When women go to a man's page with the intentions of finding a date, they want to know if you're single. Most sites already have it filled in the sidebar but post it on your main page also. When you affirm that you single, you give them the impression that you are seeking someone. Say that you are single. Tell little story about yourself. Don't focus on things you dislikes. Instead focus on your hobbies, passions, and goals.
Most networking sites have a separate section for "favorite music, movies, tv shows." I would advise to be vague in these categories. I've seen some profiles with huge lists of artists, movies, and etc. The reason I wouldn't go too deep into this. If you post an artist or a genre that some women don't like, you limit yourself. I'm focusing on the end goal. Im my 5 plus years, I've learn that having things in common take a back seat to attraction. Simply put, you don't need to have "things in common" in order to have success. You can be a ghetto child and have a great relationship with a punk rocker as long as you both are open minded. Don't kill yourself listing all your favorites from A to Z.
The same principles in real life applies to internet dating. Don't say you are 6' 1" when you are 5' 6". That's just stupid and idiotic. If anything, play yourself down a little bit. For example, I am about 5' 9" to 5' 10". I will put in my profile that I am 5' 7" or 5' 8". If it ever goes that far and you end up meeting in real life, the woman will be pleasantly surprised. Be honest with the things you post. Don't lie about your height, weight, income, etc. It will hurt you in the long run.
Leave a Contact
I recommend leaving an instant messaging handle. AIM is still very popular. MSN, AIM, Yahoo! IM. Leave one. Don't post your email or phone number for obvious reasons. Be slick about it. At the bottom of your profile, write, "If you want to know more, IM me on AIM. My screen name is ****" If you've followed me so far, you should be getting IM's from random girls in a few days.
Don't forget to connect with people. Start adding friends. You don't even need to know them if you're good. Start a conversation with someone and eventually, ask if you could add them. Expand your network. Leave nice comments on their pages so others can see. Leave something like, "I like that song" or "Nice pictures." Try to relate to the person you are networking with.
Talking on IM
Talking on IM is an art in and of itself. The same principles in real life apply here. You must be strong, confident, and funny. Ask the woman to identify herself with a profile page or picture. If she is too ugly or fat, tell her you're not interested. You can be selective. Don't feel bad. You're time is valuable so don't waste it. Be sure to have a goal when chatting online. Get to know her. Once you are having a good time, be sure to log off. Quit while you are ahead. The next time you log on, Work your way up and ask her out on a date. Mission accomplished.
Online dating is not as taboo as it once was. Meeting someone online is NOT a substitute for meeting someone in real life. The point of online dating is expanding your network and exposure. Like I said, and I don't mean to repeat myself. You page should act as a billboard. You are advertising. I had a huge amount of success. I had so many IM's, I didn't need to "look" for anyone. They came to me. Your results may vary. If you don't get an IM your first week, work proactively. Go out and find people. Message some girls. Good luck and don't take it too seriously.