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Dating and Falling in Love

Updated on October 21, 2019
Mekenzie profile image

Susan has spent many hours counseling young women with stars in their eyes. Love is a choice and God is the author of true love.


Purity | Source

Young Women - Purity

This article is written to young women who long for the kind of love that lasts a lifetime. As I write, know that my heart is to make a plea for purity, your purity. I hope my words inspire you to save yourself for a worthy man who will someday make a vow to love you all the days of your life.

God says, "Let the older woman teach the younger woman." As an older woman, I hope to inspire you. Will you respect yourself enough to stay pure until marriage? I pray you will wait on God to lead you to His best choice for you, a man who loves God and who pours that love into your life.

Dear sister, will you give me an opportunity to speak into your life? Will you allow me to share what only years can reveal to a woman? My younger sister, do not think I am old fashioned, I am experienced in life and I have witnessed the ravages of used up, love lost girls and women. I have listened to countless married women who have shared the devastation of having sex before marriage.


I Corinthians 13

God tells us what real love looks like:

Love is

  • Patient
  • Kind
  • It does not envy
  • It does not boast
  • It is not proud
  • It does not dishonor others
  • It is not self-seeking
  • It is not easily angered
  • It keeps no record of wrongs
  • Does not delight in evil
  • But rejoices with the truth
  • It always protects
  • Always trusts
  • Always hopes
  • Always perseveres
  • Love never fails

Love Is

What is Love
What is Love | Source

Don't Miss This!

First, I'd like to establish a truth, many young people miss. You will never find true love until YOU possess true love. STOP everything, go back and read that sentence again! If you are God's kid He will give you the ability to love, even as you are loved by Him.

In I Corinthians, God defines TRUE love. As you read His words, ask yourself, do I know how to love? If the answer is No, STOP looking for a man and start allowing God to develop His love in your heart. A godly man will NOT be attracted to a woman who is self-absorbed and seeking her own way.

In order to find the right person, you must first BE the right person. A very simple truth with profound implications.

The Essence of You

God created the essence of you

A gentle and soft beauty

Uniquely formed; it's true

An alluring presence

Known as faithful and true

Preserved for a day when love is new

She waits yet studies a few

Content to trust the Father above

Completely fulfilled in His unabashed love

Susan Jill Ream 2014

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Girls, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Your body is delicate, soft and alluring. It is a gift from the one who created you. Guard your body, (dressing tastefully to let your inner beauty shine,) keep it pure, choose to save it for the man you will share life with someday. Dressing to draw attention to your face will show the beauty of your person and intrigue a man of character.

A young man who values your person and who fears the God who created you will make a deliberate choice to guard against violating you in any way, shape or form. Yes, sweet little sister, there really are men who value integrity and the gift of a pure, untouched woman. Wait for him, he is a rare and precious treasure.

Boys | Source

Hormones - Raging

Girls, by now you've figured out that guys your age are going through major hormonal changes, just like you. In their hormonal rage, heading toward manhood, their bodies are screaming for sex. For many guys, the intention of that drive is to uncover you and expose the sacred nakedness underneath your clothing.

Do you know that even guys with good intentions can lose control during these very vulnerable years? Do you realize that most Christian guys hope you will put up a 'STOP HERE' boundary? Actually, you have quite a bit of power when it comes to a guy's drive for sex in a relationship.

Understand that a boy who wants you because of your body is after one thing; His selfish desire to consume you and use you. The boy who says, if you love me you will give me your body, is lying to you. The world, Hollywood and your fallen friends, are lying to you.

Love does not lust after your innocence, it protects it. Love does not violate your body. Love understands sex is a gift God intended to be between one woman and one man in the holiest of unions. It is God Himself who has ordained marriage and who blesses the marriage bed.

The Two Shall Become One Flesh

“Have you not read,” says Jesus, “that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?’” Matthew 19:5

A Young Man Who Waits

Girls, I believe, though rare these days, that there are young men out there who, in a very sex-crazed age, have made a decision to remain pure. There are still guys who fear God and want to save sex for the day he takes his beautiful girl to the altar and makes a promise to love her and cherish her all the days of his life.

There are young, brave men who have determined to constrain their primal urges to wait for a woman of character and to respect the beauty of you. Will you wait for a young man who is exceptional, rare, amazing and godly? That is the question.

I Do

You may kiss the bride
You may kiss the bride | Source

Wait for A Godly Young Man

Young friend, as you seek God and submit to Him in all your ways, I urge you to develop your God-given gifts and be content to be loved by Him. A contented young woman is very attractive.

Wait for a young man who loves you for the person you are inside and not for what pleasure you can bring to his life in compromising ways. Beautiful girl, you are an original made by the creator of all mankind. As you seek God and grow in Him, your gifts, beauty, character qualities, and uniqueness will shine.

A young man who is worthy of you, will value you and count himself blessed to have found you. He will take a sincere and deeply rooted interest in helping you to become all you were designed to be. He will build you up with encouragement and take pride in you as you become the beautiful woman God had in mind when he created you.

VIDEO - Do Not Marry THIS man

The Video that follows is kind of weird to listen to because the reading is digital. The words are powerful and I wish every young woman in the world would listen to its message.

If you want the possibilities of living a long-life with a faithful man .. Do NOT pass go, listen to the advice given on this video. Take HEED while you may.

Five Type Of Guys Christian Women Should Never Marry

Be Strong and Faithful

We live in a very sin-sick world filled with temptations and voices calling to us, luring us to believe that God is holding out on us. My prayer is that your heart has been touched through this writing.

For those who have held out on sex, I pray that your convictions will remain strong, like a rock that cannot be moved.

Warning: Making a decision in your own strength is sure to be a big fat FAIL. Recognize that apart from Christ, we can do nothing. You must also run after a relationship with your Father God and surrender to the Holy Spirit's Strength inside of you. Bask in His word (they are the words of life.)

Seek out an older, wiser woman to give you counsel and to help you build your life on a solid foundation. Allow (submit, trust, give up control) God to direct your path. Be strong in the Lord little sister, be faithful, beautiful girl because God has great plans to give you a future and a hope.

What God Says About Sex Before Marriage

"It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit." I Thessalonians 4:3-8

Create in me a clean heart
Create in me a clean heart

Girls Who Bought The Lie

As I write these words from my heart, I am keenly aware many girls have already bought the lie that Eve bought. The lie which the enemy speaks boldly and arrogantly: "God is withholding from you!" That lie has been perpetuated since the very beginning when, in the garden, the creature spoke to Eve, tempting her as he deceived her and engaged her in conversation. Eve allowed the lie of the enemy to convince her that God was withholding a good thing from her.

The enemy did what he does best, conniving, persuading and leading us to doubt the boundaries God puts around us; Boundaries placed there for our own good. Eve believed the enemy, she was mesmerized, captivated and sold. As a result, death was born and from that day on the consequences of listening to lies has been passed down to young women everywhere.

Dear deceived sister, though you bought the lie and feel the devastation of the consequences, know that you have a God who gave His Son to restore you. Be comforted, there is grace in the Father's heart. Know that God forgives and when we humble ourselves and confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins. He will wash you whiter than snow so you can begin again, pure and clean in His eyes. Let that give you hope!

God brings JOY to those who learn to trust Him and follow in His ways. JOY is a rare commodity in today's world. Seek Him, follow in His ways and step aside as you witness the JOY of the Lord filling every need you have.

This Article Written to Young Women and Teens

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© 2014 Susan Ream


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    • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Ream 

      5 years ago from Michigan

      Thank you Frank! I poured many hours into this series for Single Women. I appreciate your encouragement - you are too kind.

      God Bless!


    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      5 years ago from Shelton

      the message here.. clear and concise.. everything here is important and easy to follow... it is a must read and in my opinion.. hub of the day material...:)

    • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Ream 

      5 years ago from Michigan

      Bill, My fifteen year old granddaughter read it and asked for copies to show her friends. So-o-o-o ya just never know.

      Thank you for stopping by for a read. I hope your seventeen year old reads it and that it speaks truth to her and gives her courage in these dark days.

      Blessings friend,


    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      We have a seventeen year old who could use this article. Great advice here. I think I'll see if I can get her to read this.

    • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Ream 

      5 years ago from Michigan

      Good point Hannah, young women are changing and being affected by hormones too. The devil surely shames us and for men and boys I'm sure the area of sex is a big target.

      You made another good point about girls. Girls can repress the God given sexual part of themselves thinking the feelings are wrong - but God created us this way and it is beautiful when expressed within the bonds of marriage.

      Thanks for your thoughtful wise comments. Appreciate them!!

    • Hannah David Cini profile image

      Hannah David Cini 

      5 years ago from Nottingham

      A beautiful article. My friend and I used to lead a teenage girls group talking a lot about purity and what they are worth. I do wish in hindsight I had focused a bit more on their hormones though. I spent ages telling them how boys would be thinking. I heard it that the devil shames men as a group (men are just lusty- boys can't control themselves etc) but uses the opposite on girls (girls shouldn't have those desires, there's something wrong with you etc).

      It's such an important message, thanks for sharing.

    • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Ream 

      6 years ago from Michigan

      Thank you for sharing mothersofnations, I pray this article lands on receptive hearts and that young women will see their value through Jesus eye's and also cherish the precious gift they have to give to a deserving man. Bless you dearone!


    • mothersofnations profile image

      Mothers of Nations 

      6 years ago

      Beautifully written article. Many girls and young woman need to have access to writings such as these. There just aren't enough positive messages that encourage patience, self control, etc. This is definitely a must-share! God bless you.

      Voted up and shared!

    • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Ream 

      6 years ago from Michigan

      Dear teaches, it is my greatest hope that these words do cause young women and teens to pause and think about the future and saving themselves for a man who will honor that choice.

      Thank you sweet friend, I always look forward to hearing your thoughts.

      Hugs and Blessings!


    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      6 years ago

      I applaud your taking on this topic that may cause some people "think". Your message is important and if girls take it to heart, it will help them to live a life well. God bless you, dear lady.

    • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Ream 

      6 years ago from Michigan

      Kittye, Thanks for reading and for sharing this article with your grandkids. As I have noted, my prayer is that God uses this to create a hunger, in young women's lives, to trust God and wait for His Best.

      I'm excited your book is soon to be published - you have a story to tell my friend.

      Appreciate you and your encouragement Kittye,

      God Bless You Dearheart!


    • profile image

      Kittye Harman 

      6 years ago

      Well thought out and wonderfully presented. Thanks for sharing such Godly wisdom. I'm passing this on to my grandchildren. Lord bless your home.

      Kittye Sharron, Author

      (soon to be published: The Longest Letter: Incredible Hope.)

    • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Ream 

      6 years ago from Michigan

      Thanks suzette for taking the time to read and also for leaving your encouragement.



    • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Ream 

      6 years ago from Michigan

      Dear Stages, Pouring into the next generation has always been a passion for me. Gary and I have worked in the Youth Ministry for many years and I understand that these precious youth are the future - how can we not invest in them?

      I loved what you said here: "Our marriages are for the perfection of relationship to glorify God, so waiting gives time to work on the relationship that will guide the rest of your days." Well said and well learned from the heart of a woman of wisdom.

      Appreciate the encouragement and the acknowledgement of the word 'bold.' Quite honestly writing parts of this article made me quake in my shoes a bit - but I felt moved and led to say it just as it is.

      Love to you my sweet friend and sister in Christ!


    • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Ream 

      6 years ago from Michigan

      Janellegems ... love that name! Yes, there are many messages and many voices pulling at our young people. I was compelled to write this .. to plea for our girls purity and for their hearts.

      There is a still small voice that calls to them, who tenderly waits for them to turn to Him. It is the Good Shepherd's voice of truth.

      I pray this article is read by many young women in our society who are being lied to and deceived by the enemy who seeks to destroy.

      Thank you for leaving your message in agreement and for encouraging my heart!

      God Bless you!


    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 

      6 years ago from Taos, NM

      Much food for thought here and very inspirational. Very insightful read.

    • The Stages Of ME profile image

      Kathy Henderson 

      6 years ago from Pa

      Yes Yes Yes Mekenzie, Yes, you write with God's hand guiding you, you share wisdom given by your King, as you're pouring into a new generation.

      A world so corrupting all around them and yet through the wisdom of these words I pray they see the light that can belong to them. Mekenzie, this beautiful piece can assist them along their journey.

      Many will be motivated to the available choice, to love God first and remain pure in heart and body, until God's timing of perfect union. Our marriages are for the perfection of relationship to glorify God, so waiting gives time to work on the relationship that will guide the rest of your days. The personal and beautiful relationship with God.

      Thank you for your bold and beautiful love of God and sharing His truths, you are such a seed planter, God smiles at the passion you have to pour into others. God Bless sweet Friend ~ Peace

    • Janellegems profile image


      6 years ago

      There are so many contrary messages on this topic out there. Thanks for taking time to write this amazing Hub from your heart on a very needed message of purity for young girls and young women. Voted up!!! Useful, Awesome and Beautiful.

    • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Ream 

      6 years ago from Michigan

      Hi Faith, It is an important message and my heart was burdened to write it. I haven't written in a while but when the inspiration comes, I cannot keep myself from getting it written.

      Thank you for being an example of purity and reaping the benefits of a marriage that endures. Always appreciate the mounds of encouragement you are faithful to leave.

      Blessings and HUGS!!


    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 

      6 years ago from southern USA

      Dearest MeKenzie,

      This is such an important message for all young women and men. I can honestly say that I have not one regret in remaining pure until marriage and I have been married for 36 years now.

      God bless you for sharing these beautiful truths here. So glad to see you writing!

      Voted up ++++ tweeting, pinning, G+ and sharing


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