A Poem on Anger
A poem to release anger
When I was much younger, after I had fought with a family member, because I was still angry and still wanted to yell even though the yelling had stopped, I would write in a journal or on any piece of paper about what was making me angry. Every now and again I find some of these angry rants (most of them are simply rants). A few days ago I came upon one that is not a rant at all, but a poem of sorts, one I wrote about my father when I was probably 14 or so. I wanted to share it because I liked how I used the last words of the last line to start the next line. The repetition engages the reader a bit more, and adds a bit more to the writing. This poem has a lot of strong, angry emotions in it, and shows me and my father at our not-so-best. My father and I have a much better relationship now.
- A word of caution: This poem includes light swearing. The Hub pages use contract says we cannot use content that is vulgar or offensive. I personally don't find anything in this piece to be vulgar or offensive, but if you find swearing in any form vulgar or offensive, please do not read this, as I never mean to upset anyone with any of my writing. Also, I didn't originally write it in stanzas; it's just one unbroken stream. I wanted to keep it as much like the original as possible, which means a lot of commas. I apologize for the possibly awkward punctuation. I welcome any suggestions for how to improve the piece's punctuation.
I hate you. I hate you because you think you have a place, think you have a place to yell, a place to yell at everyone, at everyone who fucks things up, fucks things up that get in your way, that get in your way of perfection, a perfection that will never exist, never exist because it never has been. It never has been the way you wanted. You wanted it to be fun and loving, fun and loving like a family should be. A family should be a unit that cares, that cares about how you feel. How you feel should be expressed, be expressed in a way that is constructive toward bettering a situation, a situation that you feel really sucks. Really sucks to be yelled at, to be yelled at by your father, your father who supposedly loves you, loves you enough to accept your faults, your faults that will maybe always exist, always exist in each and every person. Every person has her problems. Problems and issues surface every now and then. Then you really feel like raising your voice, raising your voice because you don't want to listen, don't want to listen to someone tell you you're wrong.
You're wrong for screaming at me, screaming at me that I'm a bitch, asshole, retard. Bitch, asshole, retard...not very nice words, not very nice words coming from a parent, coming from a parent to a child, a child who can take the insult, take the insult because I don't take your anger seriously. I don't take your anger seriously because it happens so often; happens so often that I grow immune to it--grows immune to it, but not necessarily unaffected. Not necessarily unaffected by words of immense hate. Words of immense hate put stress on a child's psyche. A child's psyche is a fragile part part of their being. Their being put through such conscious painful sentiments, painful sentiments that hurt worse every time it happens. It happens ALL THE TIME! "All the time"...when the child doesn't know, doesn't know how to put the car in reverse, reverse all your reactions to irritating scenarios, irritating scenarios that will inevitably occur. Inevitably occur, just like your sudden angry outbursts, angry outbursts that are totally uncalled for. For the sake of many people's sanity, let go. Let go of all the anger you harbor deep down, deep down in the tiny corners of your mind. Mind you, if you can't let go all alone, get a therapist, a therapist who will help you get rid of hurt, hurt that springs from your childhood experience. Experience, then, an inner calm in your life.