A Third Wheel Expose
This Introduction as Well
as the following hub is serious in tone. Not "somewhat serious," "kinda serious," but serious. The kind of serious that when you are finished reading this piece, I wouldn't doubt that huge tears will be streaming down your face. It's that kind of serious.
One thing that I ask that you keep in mind: this hub begs no record-setting length in order to make the point. Just a few expertly-chosen thoughts and phrases when strung together will in all probability, make you wonder. Then again, you may just say something like, really, or can you believe this guy, and move about your daily business. Many citizens in America today can be strange.
On the Surface
we will talk (briefly) about two groups of young people, probably, not that it matters, in their late teen's. One group, again, on the surface, is one group: a couple composed of a girl and boy and from all indications, they have fallen in love or about to fall in love. And their mutual friend, let's call him, "Dirk," is smiling at them and doing what friends do in his position: smile, laugh at the jokes that is told by the couple--who are mainly cracking jokes only for each other, but the couple is not sadistic so they look at him when they let go another hilarious punchline and laugh in harmony as "Dirk" slowly gets the couple's sharp-minded humor and laughs with them. Frankly the couple haven't noticed, but "Dirk's" lips are chapped from holding them wide-open enduring the violent Chicago winds.
As a humanistic side note, "Dirk" does not work due to him not having a job or car, but "Slade," the male part of the loving couple lets him ride with him to attend pep rallies, sporting events, and other teen activities. "Dirk" appreciates "Slade" to the point of idolizing him so much that he could gently suggest to "Dirk" that he, "Slade," would like to see "Dirk" plummet high from the Sears Towers, but he won't. "Slade" does have a heart.
Our second group is much like the first group, a couple is gazing into each other's eyes. Purely the sign of a young man and woman enjoying their relationship. But standing close to them is "Gene," a mutual friend, who doesn't share the couple's love simply because he has fallen in love with the girl, but he has never confessed this heart-warming fact to the girl because he knows that "Thad" will tear him up like an early 1950s vacuum cleaner. So . .."Gene," the mutual friend will just go along like he has for weeks without attempting to tell the girl of his love--allowing "Thad" to continue to cultivate his love for the girl.
Have you Absorbed
all about our two groups of young people? I know that you are curious about why I am writing about two groups--primarily having "Dirk" and "Gene" their mutual friends, and unless YOU have walked in the shoes of the two mutual friends, you may have found out several different facts. And no, I have never studied Sociology. Can you believe that?
While you are studying the various observations about the two groups, I will share my personal views about them right now.
Group Number One
I wonder why, if I were the young girl, "Slade" makes it a habit of always carrying "Dirk" to each date that I have?
Does "Slade" have a twinge of insecurity--always having to be reaffirmed (by "Dirk") in front of the young girl? "Slade" even takes to asking his mutual friend, "Hey, 'Dirk,' I am pretty much a ladies man. Right?" Of course, poor, out-classed "Dirk," is quick to agree with "Slade's" immature question.
Outside of "Slade's" cute one-liners, name-brand clothing and coming from a financially-comfortable family, what topics of conversation does he have with his young girlfriend? "Slade" has never really talked to "Dirk," but tells him (while on dates) that he, "Slade," is thirsty, so why don't you, ("Dirk") run right over there and get my hot girlfriend here a cold soda pop? Oh, and could you buy the soda's because I went off and left my wallet at home?
"Dirk" is in one way, "Slade's" gofer, but "Slade" knows not to ask "Dirk" to do many things for him because he is risking his hot girlfriend feeling sympathetic toward "Dirk" being so down-trodden by "Slade."
Group Number Two
On the surface, things look pretty much the same with this group as Group Number One, but in this group, "Gene" is simmering inside due to not being able to tell "Thad's" hot girlfriend about "his" love for her, and besides, "Thad," is, if there ever was one, a true-to-life, a Big Man on Campus, where the three attend high school. "Thad" has lettered in every sport that was available. Of course he was the captain of the football team, basketball team, and lead-off hitter in baseball. The parents love "Thad" and his perfect teeth, hair, and perfectly-tuned physique. That also applies to his girlfriend who likes "Thad," but not that deep into love with him.
My first observation: once, "Gene," confessed his feelings for "Thad's" girlfriend, and this was a huge mistake on behalf of "Gene." The three were very relaxed at "Thad's" favorite restaurant where his dad owns the five-star eatery and "Thad" is comped each time he and the girlfriend come through the door--so "Gene" thought he could confess how he felt about "Thad's" girlfriend with "Thad" being present, but it blew back into his face because "Thad" didn't hurt "Gene, no, sir. He stood up and told the other diners about what "Gene" had just said then he went into this spill about "Gene" being clumsy and could easily pass for a terrapin with his awkward physical build, and "Gene" hung his head and never returned a word.
"Thad's" girlfriend acted as if she were siding with him in making "Gene" feel foolish, but not really. You see, "Thad's" girlfriend knows a good thing when she sees it. Sure his dad owns this expensive restaurant and is the C.E.O. of a huge metal forging factory so "Thad," the only son, is going to have a powerful position when he graduates high school and college, so she will have no money problems if they stay as a couple. But what about "Gene?"
"Gene" and "Dirk" are in every respect, Third Wheels. It's not a title of honor, but truthfully-speaking, I need to share another observation about both groups and ask you a question: in your single life, have you ever played the role of a Third Wheel? I have. And ladies and gentlemen, I can tell you that being the Third Wheel is a position of misery and discomfort and really, there's no other way to describe it.
I played the role of a Third Wheel twice during my life as a single guy and although I liked the couples as much as I could, but I was never really comfortable with the role that I am talking about.
Instead, when a threesome, so to speak, gets together, the fair and adult thing is to share conversation and make the time enjoyable, but when I was the Third Wheel, it was the couple talking in code and cute little witticisms that only they could know what they were talking about and guess who was left out in the cold?
Personally and truthfully, I have never met a happy Third Wheel. I know that somewhere in this vast universe, a happy Third Wheel exists, but I've yet to find one. Most times, a Third Wheel will NOT accompany the male equation of a girl and boyfriend relationship. Oh, on occasion, there are those polite times when Third Wheels are made to be appreciated (by couples they know), but only as a member of a group of friends who are there to wish the girl or boy (in a couple) a happy birthday or some other milestone. Other than that, what really is the role for a Third Wheel?
In closing, let me share with you that I have known of a guy who had this girlfriend and she was some kind of pretty. And this guy loved her dearly, but he wouldn't go anywhere unless her Third Wheel guy that she knew in school would attend their dates, movies, or sporting events. You got it. A fulfilled Third Wheel.
Rare. Very rare indeed.
June 16, 2018_____________________________________________