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A Forever with Blinders on

Updated on September 28, 2011

When it really becomes our choice.

Many years I have often wondered, why many people let family, friends and even coworkers affect the choice of whom they feel is right and correct for them. At the very least what they think couldn't possibly be of more importance than what you feel.

Have you ever noticed what a mom or dad or sibling will pick for you is not what all your friends would. Then do you even say to them, "why and how would you think they would float my boat "? The question now remains, "why do we think they could choose at all"? Could it be that we have not chosen wisely for ourselves in the past? Do we feel depleted of thought on what we really want and need for ourselves? The answer must lie somewhere in between the one we want and ourselves.

Opposites attract. How importantly true is this fair statement. However what I have found is that what we like in the opposite person is what we are not able to be ourselves. We tend to respect that much. The problem may be is that we ourselves need to be respected for who we are and they will need that as well. Not a small portion of it, but a vast majority of all of who we are, what we do, where we go and whom we choose to go it with.

If two people agree on money, politics. religion and how it is dealt with...well thats a fine start. Two that have passion and compassion will allow the other to talk openly and agree to disagree if needed. Morals are one of the biggest topics to agree on, and very well should be completely agreed upon.

Forever is a very long time...............unless the two are happy. Happy together, happy apart. Making room for all types of love, children, friends, family and coworkers too. All in all , when two become should be the largest filled heart, with lots of room to grow and become flexible with time.

The only approval I need for my love and me Gods loving grace and his light shining down upon our face. My last relationship did not work out. I spent much time trying to understand why. My illness contributed I feel sure, My personality I know for certain.

My wish for everyone is that we all find that special someone that accepts us where we are in life, and who we have become over the years. Unconditional love may not be what most humans are use to, may not be what most can give, but I fully realize that if one can love as God does, even most parents..... that even when the honeymoon stage is over , that we will find new ways to show them that we care. We will see them in a new light daily and appreciate that even when in strife, pain, anger and just love the one we chose with a passion. We will make it our promise to ourself to find the best in them and help when the best is not able to surface that day.

My parents have been together for over 50 years. That in itself is incredible. Knowing that many stay together for other reasons than love.... that isn't my parents situation. They truly love one another and put no one above or in front of the others wants or needs. They also chose each other, against both of their familes thoughts. All of their siblings have been divorced many times or a few. They think still that they beat odds.... I dare to disagree. They picked someone with their moral values, how each other valued money, religion and politics. They never let others thoughts keep them from who made them feel best in love , life and the storms we need shelter from.

Today I ask everyone to take a grande look at who you are, what you want and deserve. I know we all deserve to be happy. Make it happen , starting with choosing your better half based on your own heart and deep wants and needs. They say there is someone out there for everyone. That has to be true. However if we ourselves have no idea what we want......probably is because we don't know ourselves well enough to pick.... yet. Take this time to analyze why you feel they ways that you do. Why some things are so vital to get our point across, why it matters that we feel so understood. When those are answered , I have a feeling one can set out and find that soulmate we all so desire.

Just my clear thought today

Happy love hunting




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    • Momma Mia profile imageAUTHOR

      Momma Mia 

      6 years ago from North Carolina


      so sorry for the loss of your Mom. I am sure it is very difficult for your family and especially her soulmate. Knowing she is in Gods peaceful hands I feel sure helps but fully knowing such a loss is terrible to deal with. My prayers are with you and your family.

      Thankyou for taking the time to read my thoughts and leave such kind comments!




    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 

      6 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Excellent hub...I pray and wish all could be happy like your parents were married 60 mmom just misses her so much..I know what you mean..great hub.. God bless you..debbie

    • Momma Mia profile imageAUTHOR

      Momma Mia 

      7 years ago from North Carolina

      Thank You Tony and dashing scorpio for taking the time to read and leaving great comments. Its Mommie's Day and I am feeling very blessed today ...also is my daughters 21srt Bday today. I actually brought her home from the hospital on mothers day. Love is truly in the air !



    • dashingscorpio profile image


      7 years ago

      Excellent advice!

      Awhile back I wrote a hub titled 5 Reasons Why Men Should Not Get Married. Essentially it comes down to people not taking the time to do the necessary introspective thinking in order to know what they want. I believe the reason why so many people count on family, friends, and co-workers to tell them who is a "good partner" for them is because they have never taken the time to look within. Most people let chemistry alone dictate their relationships or simple happenstance..etc

    • Tony DeLorger profile image

      Tony DeLorger 

      7 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Hi Mia, hope you are well and happy. A great hub, very personal and heartfelt. Not many people know us well enough to make judgemments about how we feel in our hearts. Any of us can only follow what we feel and finding someone who will take us for who we are is an absolute blessing. Take care.

    • Momma Mia profile imageAUTHOR

      Momma Mia 

      7 years ago from North Carolina

      Thank you for reading Eiddwen, novascotiamiss and kofeeklatch , and also for very nice comments. You all have a great weekend !



    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

      Susan Hazelton 

      7 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Opposites do attract. My husband and I are living proof of that. Many of the people around us seemed to be surprized when we got together. But, here we are now, more years than I want to admit, and we are still happily together.

    • novascotiamiss profile image


      7 years ago from Nova Scotia, Canada

      Beautiful hub. Of course our parents always want the best for their children and that's why they feel that they should guide you. Also, strange enough mothers always think of their daugthers as children. Somehow we just never seem to grow up and they always have to make sure that we don't fall into a trap. This happens even to the most successful of us and can be very hurtful. On the other hand we have to be careful that we don't start doing the same to them when they get old. It must feel very sad when your children all of a sudden interfere in your life, just because they want to protect you. Sometimes we have to ignore and forgive well-meant advice. And last but not least, regarding marriage I believe this is a process that needs a lot of maintenance. It's not the expensive wedding day, it's the life that you share together, with all its good and bad sides. What many people forget is that marriage is a partnership and not two singles living together in a communal arrangement.

    • Eiddwen profile image


      7 years ago from Wales

      A great hub and thanks for sharing.

      Take care



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