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ABOUT WOMEN by b. Malin

Updated on October 21, 2010

BEFORE AND AFTER.....

Photo by Andrew
Photo by Andrew

IN THE BEGINNING..... By b. Malin

i was once only "me" and you were somewhere else. There was a time when we didn't exist for one another. How quickly that all changed when we met.

I was so insecure, while you were so aggressive, but I loved the excitement and wonder of it all. But the "times" were so different, and whispers could be heard, but we weren't listening. So what I thought, it's good, let it be. My body was young and my thoughts still free....and the love making so new and exciting.

We vowed to each other that it would never end, and I'm sure we both meant it at the time..... But even "lovers" grow apart.

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IF THE OPPOSITE WERE TRUE by b. Malin

Why is it when it's over for me, you don't seem to understand? And yet if the opposite were true, I'd be expected to say "so long" and pack my bags, and not to question you.

I'd do it you know, I'd understand. I'd realize that nothing lasts forever. Isn't that the reason we chose this life style? No Rules to live by....so none could be broken....nobody gets hurt, isn't that what you said?

We had an understanding. Do I see tears in your eyes? And now you are begging me to stay.....Making me feel guilty and confused....causing me to question myself.

I feel such pain for you and me. What's happening to us, to our "understanding"? I suddenly feel smothered.....let me think. I must get away to think.

Do "I" want to become a commitment?

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WHO AM I NOW? by b. Malin

I know who I am at times. I'm a wife, a mother, a lover, a friend, a cook, a housekeeper, over thirty. I am beautiful one moment....depressed the next. I'm also a hiker, and a dreamer of unfinished things.

Summer is ending, my favorite time of the year. My body is still tanned and healthy, and my thoughts are high....I feel beautiful! I swim, I walk, I write, I love, life is beautiful!

Fall has come, my tan has faded. I see new lines on my face...Am I still beautiful? Or am I fading too? My thoughts are growing dark....winter is coming. I am growing depressed with myself. All the leaves are gone from the trees. The world looks naked to me now. I look in the mirror and I feel naked too.

On impulse, I have my beautiful long flowing hair cut. I do not look up as I hear the "snipping" of the scissors, as I hear my hair crying out in protest as it falls helplessly from my shoulders onto the cold dark floor. There it lays silently betrayed at my feet.

I tip the girl and rush out the door. I want to run as fast as I can from the scene of the crime. I feel like I have violated me. I have lost my "security blanket", my best friend, my identity. I feel old, I feel ugly....I don't feel like me. Who is me anyway?

My family, my friends smile and say they love the "New Me".

I stare at the "New ME" in my mirror in the solitude of my room, and watch the tears that flow silently down my cheeks, as you come into the room and tell me, come spring, it will be long and flowing once more. We kiss as you softly stroke my hair as if to comfort it too.

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    • b. Malin profile imageAUTHOR

      b. Malin 

      7 years ago

      Karanda, Thanks so much for your beautiful insight and thoughts .I Look forward to having you read more of my pieces and commenting on them.

    • Karanda profile image

      Karen Wilton 

      7 years ago from Australia

      Beautiful sentiment. You have told the tale with much expression. For me, there is nothing worse than cutting the locks that protect me, a little like Samson from the bible isn't it? Looking forward to reading more of your hubs.

    • b. Malin profile imageAUTHOR

      b. Malin 

      7 years ago

      Thanks so much Judy.

    • profile image

      Judy 

      7 years ago

      loved this.....so true

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