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Grandma's Love

Updated on January 12, 2018
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© Copyright 2012, Tracy Lynn Conway, with all rights reserved.

I can remember it as if it were yesterday; my head resting on my Grandmother’s warm cozy lap, leaning against her soft stomach. It was on weekend visits that I recall being in her living room on her well worn, 70’s style, yellow velvet couch. She was caressing my long, wavy brown hair, and although it was peacefully quiet, I could almost hear the distant sound of sweet angels gently singing to me. It was as if the world had stopped. This is the memory, my memory, the moment that I hold on to as a time when I felt most safe and nurtured.

Grandma Tessie had a kind smile with the purest blue eyes, but it was her heart that held the most purity, it was limitless. She was the one person I could always count on. Lying there on her lap felt like an endless moment, and in a way that moment hasn’t ended because I have remembered it perfectly, even today. I go back to this memory time and time again. Looking back, it was Grandma Tessie that understood how to love and gave this precious gift to me. That moment lying on her lap is what I always return to.

I often wonder if it is healthy for me to hold on to that special time and think about it as often as I do, but since my childhood was darkened by the separation of my parents when I was eight years old, that singular moment with Tessie remains my one peaceful childhood memory; just thinking of it nurtures me still. I even wonder if I can amplify it and have it be a quantity of love large enough to fulfill me and carry me through my life.

Can one profound positive moment give us enough to carry us through our entire life?

In his book “The Science of the Spirit” Rudolph Steiner, a German philosopher who was born in 1861, wrote about the ways in which we can increase our consciousness. In this book he explains that small interactions can have profound effects on our lives. Conversely, there can be people in our lives, even some that we see every day, that have a minimal effect on us. Steiner explains that since we will never know what kind of interactions are headed our way, we need to be conscious or aware so that when the most meaningful ones present themselves, we will be aware and able to acknowledge them. In the case of my childhood, this one moment with my grandmother was the one that stands out for me the most.

I think this concept could even be expanded and used to understand great friendships that come to an end. I truly wish all great friendships would last forever, just like I wish that moment on Grandma Tessie’s lap would last forever, but I think that the life lesson here is that we often have to move on. I find that many of the great friendships in my life need to come to an end whether for geographical reasons or simply the change and growth of the individuals in the course of the relationship dictate this “end”. The challenge then becomes one of holding onto those great memories with that person and allowing them to give us strength. Of course this strength can be bittersweet because we will always miss the experience of the friendship.

I am not sure that any human being can fully comprehend the ending of a friendship or in a more profound sense, the acceptance of the death of a person that we loved deeply, just as we can’t fully comprehend the finite reality of our own future death. We may at times feel that we do understand it or waiver between accepting it and being confused by it. This has to remain something that will always be elusive and we have to accept that. Keeping the magic alive and treasuring what has been gained between two people seems to be the key to moving on healthfully.

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A single rose can be my garden... a friend, my world.

~Leo Buscaglia

A happy memory never wears out.

~Amish Proverb

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival.

~C. S. Lewis


Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you figure out which one it is,

you will know what to do for each person.

~Unknown

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    • Tracy Lynn Conway profile imageAUTHOR

      Tracy Lynn Conway 

      5 years ago from Virginia, USA

      Jseven,

      It sounds that you are making this golden lifelong impressions upon your numerous grandchildren. How lucky you are! Thank you for your beautiful words!

      From my heart to yours.

      Best,

      Tracy

    • jseven profile image

      jseven 

      5 years ago from Michigan

      This is just a beautiful memoir of your grandma. It touched me a lot as I have 12 grandchildren ranging from 17 to 18 months and each one is so special and precious to me. They love me dearly and show it in their own way when I see them. I often wonder if I am impacting them for life and you just made it clear that yes, I am. Thank you! xx

    • Tracy Lynn Conway profile imageAUTHOR

      Tracy Lynn Conway 

      5 years ago from Virginia, USA

      Vellur - I am so glad that you enjoyed this and happy that you left a comment so that I know it touched you. Thank you for the votes and for sharing!

      Teaches12345 - Understanding why certain people stay, while others fade is something each of us has to discover for ourselves, a true "life lesson." Thank you for your great comment!

      Pavlo Badovskyy, I agree with you about our main treasures. I am lucky to have had a grandma so rich with love and a legacy to pass on. Thank you for your comment! I see you are from Kyiv, Ukraine, my Grandmother was from Lithuania.

    • Pavlo Badovskyy profile image

      Pavlo Badovskyi 

      5 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine

      Our memories and children are our main treasures in this life. I am glad you had such a grandma and thank you for your emotions which you shared with us!

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      5 years ago

      "People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime." When I discovered the truth of this, Tracy, I learned to value each person's path crossing mine. Love your thoughts -- full of wisdom.

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 

      5 years ago from Dubai

      I enjoyed reading this, special moments and memories are difficult to let go however hard we try. Voted up and shared.

    • Tracy Lynn Conway profile imageAUTHOR

      Tracy Lynn Conway 

      6 years ago from Virginia, USA

      Thanks ChristyWrites!

      It feels great to get these ideas down and I am thrilled that you enjoyed it. Thank you for the votes and for sharing too! xx

      Best,

      Tracy

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 

      6 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Thanks for sharing your wonderful memories with us. I agree that we need to cherish these times. I vote up and beautiful, as well as sharing. xx

    • Tracy Lynn Conway profile imageAUTHOR

      Tracy Lynn Conway 

      6 years ago from Virginia, USA

      Karanda,

      That is so kind. I appreciate your stamp of approval, maybe now I won't second guess myself. Thank you.

      Best, Tracy

    • Karanda profile image

      Karen Wilton 

      6 years ago from Australia

      Everyone should have a special memory to carry them through life. I am so glad yours was with Grandma Tessie - sounds incredibly healthy to me.

    • Tracy Lynn Conway profile imageAUTHOR

      Tracy Lynn Conway 

      6 years ago from Virginia, USA

      Btrbell,

      Thank you!

      Movie Master,

      I am thrilled that you can relate, I suppose these are universal experiences that we hold dear. Your comment has touched me, thank you. Thank you also for your votes and wishes.

      Best, Tracy

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 

      6 years ago from United Kingdom

      What a beautiful read, what a special memory of Grandma Tessie, I could relate to your words and memories.

      My own childhood memories are of a very special person in my life too - my grandma.

      Thank you for sharing, voting up and beautiful.

      Best wishes Lesley

    • btrbell profile image

      Randi Benlulu 

      6 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Nice!

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