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Addicted to Sex Part Two

Updated on December 30, 2015

The effects of Sex Addiction on any given person can differ. I was asked to name the effects of sex on the human body as with any other addiction and was a bit confused with the question, but do love a challenge so I hope I go about this the right way.

As far as sex goes let’s just say when in a committed relationship it can be rewarding, exhilarating, overwhelming and passionate. However, when a person focuses on nothing more than the desire of another sexual conquest, porn, and/or paying for sex it becomes a problem in its own right.

The person you love becomes a victim to your rampage and if left in the dark, and have no clue the person they committed themselves to has a problem, it can be downright humiliating. Many people, be it a man or a woman find out the hard way that their mate is doing unscrupulous things they could never imagine with someone else.

The trust is then lost and the shame takes over. One couple I read about had been married for twenty four years and the husband was a pastor. When they met everything was going well. They got married , had children and it wasn’t until their twenty fourth wedding anniversary that he decided to be honest and tell her he was paying to have sex with prostitutes, and couldn’t get the fantasies out of his head.

When he realized his problem was affecting his life, both emotionally and financially for he was now stealing from his congregation to pay for his addiction he realized he had to do the right thing, quit his job, tell his wife and seek help. After months of separation and him seeking counseling this couple found their way back and have since then renewed their vows. Happily, I can say they made it through an obstacle that seemed overbearing, but with true love, perseverance and hope they managed.

It isn’t easy for most to admit their deceptive ways, and their need to fulfill each fantasy that pops into mind just gets worse and worse. Sex is supposed to be shared with someone you love, be it due to marriage or a committed relationship. It is a pleasure to want to share that kind of closeness with someone you adore and hope to share the rest of your life with.

There are many reasons that may bring one to live a life outside of the marriage, but it still needs to be addressed if you really want to save your relationship. To spend a lot of money on porn, prostitutes or even massages just to get a fix on your sexual desires is wrong. Not only to you but your family if you happen to have one.


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    • one2recognize2 profile image

      one2recognize2 5 years ago from New York

      Hello Krystal Lynn and sorry I haven't been on for a while. I am so very sorry you lost your husband due to this addiction. It is painful and I totally feel your despair. It must not be easy on the kids either and my heart truly goes out to you. As I take a closer look at the many ignorant comments left behind it truly annoys me that they can't see the torment and betrayal one that's going through it endures. I enjoy sex yes, it was meant to be satisfying, especially with one you love and trust, but when outside influences makes one feel inadequate and basically not enough it truly hurts. When one loves someone they want to be their all, whether its via support, loyalty, faithfulness and most importantly sexually. Porn is fine if it is something you both enjoy, and to a certain extent. Thank you Krystal Lynn again for being outspoken about this and I do hope you find the peace and support you need to deal with it all. If your husband can seek assistance for his addiction he can overcome it and I do wish this for you as well as you need to be able to share this with others that have been through it as well, it helps... Wish you the very best and hugs...

    • profile image

      krystall lynn 5 years ago

      It depends on how they do it. My husband is a sex addict. u can enjoy sex with out ruining ur life, and for a fact can run your life. We have been married 5 years toegther for 10, and ever since ive known him porn was an obsession with him, lieing about it and he cldnt stop. However i thought porn was natural until he took it to the extent he did. Lieing and loosing my trust over porn seemed to be taking it a but extreme. We have three kids together and he is a marine, and it went from porn to craigslist, to dateing websites, once he started doing dateing websites, and geting caught and crying anf begging me not to leave, he attempted to stop but kept doing it and then lieing so much. Everything became a lie with him. He then startes avoided family, and became un social, his whole personality changed and started becoming distant from me. Bieng angry towards his children, and enraged when he got caught playing dumb and saying it wasnt his profile he didnt do it. He said hed get help numerous times but never did, fianlly he left me, saying he wasnt happy but u dont just fll out of love, so my only solution to this is that hsi sex addiction became so bad and me bieng his wife i threatened that, he wasnt happy because he cldnt have his addiction and me, and he chose his addiction. He came back after two months, and then just left again because he cldnt have his porn and secret life while he was with me. Its like looking into the eyes of the man i married but someone else inside him. Its scarey and heart breaking that theres nothing i can do to help him. He barley sees his kids and his addiction is more important. He signs up for a dateing site and in one evening invites 50 girls over saying things like " i dont bite baby" trying to get them ckmplete strangers over for sex. He lives this life, and i cant help him, ive tryed but if he doesnt want it theres nothing i can do. Hes living with a single guy buddy, and he does watever he wants, but doesnt admit to it. its the hardest thing iveever had to do to watch the man who once completely loved me, get consumed by an addiction and disrupt him. I guess i have no other option but to walk away, and hope he will get help for his childrens sake. But idk..... this is the hardest thing ive ever had to do. at age 23 with 3 small children, and ive been with him since i was 13, i cant imagine life without him. but i have no choice. He told me i was perfect that i never did anything wrong and that hes sorry, but what he cant see is hes addicted and thats whats wrong with him, hes truggling with it too, but cant even explain wats happening himself. :( theres no words to explain my pain

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      chandra 7 years ago

      sex and make love is a personal partners appettite can be more than the other.irrespective of gender if the relationship between 2 partners is good and sex for one person is deprived or incomplete he or she can excplore outside.....but need to take care that he or she is not guilty and at the same time taking care of the relationship withou comparing/blaming etc.

    • My Sweet  Anjolie profile image

      My Sweet Anjolie 7 years ago

      Why are people so threatened by sex? We are all sex addicts. If you have a common agreement as to what is acceptable then you should be honorable. I do think many condemn others for having different ideas. In my experience all men cheat mentally and quite often in reality. They are not all horrible monsters.

    • pointblank009 profile image

      pointblank009 7 years ago from Buffalo

      I file sex-addiction in the same drawer as money-addiction one2recognize2; my science fiction cabinet. I get the feeling this was written before Tiger Woods' revelations, but there are always underlinning reasons. For example, yes Tiger does have an addiction, but it's not sex.