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Addiction: Does It Actually Ruin Relationships?
The idea of addiction means that a person mentally and physically relies on a substance, usually drugs (such as marijuana and tobacco) and alcohol. When you're in a relationship with someone, I have found from my own experiences that the concept of them being addicted to something is difficult to understand. Especially if they're addicted to something that could potentially ruin their lives. The last thing you want to see is the person you love potentially harming themselves and possible (most likely) killing themselves because of it. Or at least getting in huge amounts of trouble for it.
One of my exes was addicted to gambling. So much that he even got a job as a poker dealer. This caused so many problems between the both of us. He dedicated most of his time to his gambling, meaning that he hardly had any time for me. Even when we did spend time together, he would sit at his computer and play online poker. It pushed me away, as I was worried that he would run up massive debts and rely on me to help him out. I'm young so this would be a massive problem for me as there is no way I'd be able to help. Then that would make me feel bad and drive a wedge even further between us. This is the perfect example of addiction ruining relationships.
I haven't had much luck with my current boyfriend. While he isn't addicted to gambling, he is addicted (in my opinion) to drugs (specifically tobacco). While this is normal and definitely not illegal if he only smokes cigarettes, the idea of the health risks that come with it worries me. Tobacco and all the ill health caused by it, is one of the leading causes of death each year. We have argued constantly about his smoking habits. I understand completely that it will be hard for him to just quit altogether straight away, as the withdrawal symptoms due to the nicotine will be a massive shock to the system. But the fact is that I hate the fact he is basically killing himself by allowing such harmful chemicals into his body. Most of the time, everything I say is only because I care. He doesn't always seem to understand that though as he now relies on cigarettes, especially during a booze-fuelled night out. This is driving a wedge between us now.
I am not exactly innocent myself though. I do find myself relying on alcohol a little bit too much and that has caused problems too. I have been told I become extremely clingy when I am drunk (which I will admit is a lot of the time) and that can sometimes drive people away - only my current boyfriend doesn't seem to mind. Yet I do seem to argue more with people if I am drunk and that has led to many nights crying myself to sleep after arguing with my boyfriend - simply because I was drunk.
While addiction isn't something easy to just stop and control, it is something that can cause many problems in relationships and is definitely something that needs discussing. My advice would be simply to sit down and figure out together what the problems are and how you could possibly solve them. Show the other person you are willing to support them/help them out as much as possible - as much as it takes to sort out the problem. The worst thing you can do is leave them to sort it out themselves as they probably will not have the motivation to do so.
In a relationship, you're supposed to be a team and so teams work together to solve a problem. Also, going 'cold turkey' from an addiction is the worst idea too as that can lead to just as many health problems as the actual addiction can. You need to take things slow and steady- you're not going to get the results you want straight away so you're going to have to be patient. If you're not willing to be patient and take your time in a relationship, then you're not mature enough to be in a relationship, if I'm honest.
While addictions can be a major problem in relationships, I personally think that it is the way you handle the situation rather than the situation itself that actually causes the break up of a relationship. Addictions are horrible and not great to deal with but if you truly love and care for the person you are dating, then nothing should ever stand in your way.
© 2017 Lauren Wallace