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Advice For Creating A Good Marriage

Updated on May 24, 2014

Advice For Creating A Good Marriage

Rule 1 - Be Yourself

Be yourself from day one of starting a relationship. Don't ever be someone that you are not, your spouse will have proven to you that you are accepted and loved for who you are truly are as a person, not being someone who you are not. Always spend a little time together each and every day, even though it might only be 10 minutes before you go to bed. Spend a little time to talk, sharing each other's company, or some time to cuddle. Give your spouse at least a five second kiss before one of you leaves in the morning and before one of you retires for the evening. Get into the habit of hugging and holding hands often, daily if you can.

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Rule 2 - Share In Life's Responsibilities

Find ways to share responsibilities. Early in your marriage, formulate a household chore plan. Come up with chores that each of you does not mind doing and come up with chores each of you does not mind doing together. Stick to your chore plans and occasionally revise the plans. Look for ways to make your spouse's life happier, do nice things for each other and compliment each other on something every day. Get into the habit of doing things for each other. Iron a spouse's clothes, do a project around the house without asking, buy a little surprise, buy her something she likes, buy her a dozen roses, buy her a box of chocolates, buy him a little gadget or a sporting good he is into. Say thank-you often to one another, listen to what each other has to say, try to listen twice as much as you talk.

Rule 3 - Keep Yourselves Healthy and Fit

Try to exercise daily and eat healthy. Keep your bodies looking good and attractive for each other. Look good for the loving and romance. Find some exercise activities you can do together. Go walking together, go jogging together, go hiking together, go dancing, play volleyball together, play golf, play tennis, go bowling, perform is some physical sport activity that each of you enjoys. Also get into the habit of going on a romantic dinner date and see a movie together at least once a month.

Rule 4 - Keep Steady

Life always has its ups and downs. Life's ups and downs will continue after marriage. Life always has its annoyances. Is something really bothering you with your spouse or are things just a little different than what you are accustomed to. Should something come up that really bothers you, find a time to talk about it, but in a non-accusatory way and see if you can work it out. Exercise your sense of humor in different situations, it will help you both out by getting through tough times and make your lives better for it.

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Rule 5 - Build A Relationship of Trust

Always give each other the benefit of any doubt. The two of you built a relationship of trust. Don't ever assume your spouse is doing things for the purpose of irritating you. It may be he.she does not realize something maybe bothering you. Get anything that might become a matter out in the open. Don't expect perfection. We are all human. The human condition happens. Sometimes we might get tired, get overworked, get over-stressed, have a rough day at work, worrying about a family illness, have a personal illness, or simply have a frailty.

Rule 6 - Be a Realist in Your Marriage

Be a realist in your marriage. Marriage is sometimes a day to day grind. Sometimes life gets tense, on edge, feeling down, a moment not being happy with your significant other. It's not always about your feelings, it's about your commitment to one another. Marriage is not always being romantic all the time. It's all about your commitment to one another, it's being there for each other, being a team, and getting the job done. You need to work together to plan a budget, accumulate a little savings. create an emergency fund for the tough times, times when a job may become lost, and times when an automobile may break down.

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Rule 7 - Argue in a Nice Way

If you must argue, argue softly, remain calm and speak in a normal tone of voice. Think before choosing the words you want to say. Keep no secrets from each other. Avoid the appearance of hanky panky or any suspicious activities. Be transparent to one another, learn from each of your mistakes. If something is ever to happen, don't be afraid to say "I'm sorry" and mean it. "Forgive" is the most important word for creating a good marriage.

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Rule 8 - Turn Down Times Into Nonchalant

For times that get you down, just smile and behave in a genteel kind of way. Go out of your way to be kind, thoughtful, and caring to your mate, give things a bit of time, after awhile your life will return to normal and everything will be OK. Don't be afraid to go to bed angry about something, the upset often leaves when you sleep on it. Don't dwell on any argument that escalates out of control. Stop, rest, sleep, and wake up refreshed, you both will feel better in the morning.

Rule 9 - Do Not Take Your Spouse For Granted

Appreciate your spouse's strengths and weaknesses. Do not ever take your spouse for granted. Make plans together and discuss life's decisions together. Sometimes go with your decision, sometimes go with your spouse's decision, sometimes go with a 50/50 compromise. Accept responsibility for each of your actions and decisions. Get into the habit of keeping a beautiful home, a home the both of you are proud to come home to. About 90% of the time make sure the beds are made, household chores are done, dishes are done, laundry is done, the home is cleared of clutter. Maintain a happy and stress free home.

Rule 10 - Maintain A Nice Home

For the most part decorate your home together. Don't make any decorating decisions without input from the other. Allow one spot each in your home that is one's personal space. That space may be an office, back bedroom, the garage, nice basement area, or nice attic area. Your home must be maintained well except for this personal space. This one space can be decorated without the other's input. This space may be for one's hobby or just a getaway space.

Budget your money four different ways. Keep a joint account for bills, a joint account for savings, a personal savings account for you and a personal account for your spouse. You each should be able to buy a few things for yourself, but make sure the bills get paid. Also allow each other a day or two a month to get away and do things with friends. Allow time for your spouse to partake in activities such as golf, bowling, bridge, club activities or happy hours with co-workers after work.

Lastly, never forget your anniversary date. Make each anniversary very special. Watch your wedding ceremony over again, look through your wedding album, look through old time pictures together, then exchange gifts. Afterward celebrate with an anniversary dinner either by romantic candlelight dinner at home or out to a fancy restaurant. Toast the occasion with your favorite drinks and allow this time for your favorite dessert and end this time with a ten second kiss.


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