After the Narcissist Stopped Wanting Me, I Took the Time to Learn How Great I Truly Am

That's years of me repairing everything that he managed to beat down inside me. He made me feel stupid, ugly, fat, and worthless. Not just some days. Every single day, he made me feel every bit of what I just stated. On purpose. Because that's how he kept me in the place he thought that I should be. Underneath him.

Then, in typical narcissist fashion, he tried to use intimacy as a weapon. And that was exactly where he would find himself using that weapon all by his damned self, because I don't need a loser to want me to know that I am wanted. Not only was it his loss, it was the only loss that he will wake up and regret daily, because if his track record is any hint, he'll never get close to a woman of my quality again.

Intelligent, hilarious, and smoking hot.

You sometimes luck up with 2 of three, but that trifecta is a lofty ideal for a partner. He had it. And he was such an insecure asswipe that he had to try to beat me down instead of allowing the fact that I thought he was boyfriend material elevate him. What a fucking clown. I mean, a genuine Bozo, though.

And I'm right here, still all 3, and still way too good for the likes of you even on my worst day. Do I miss you? Like lepers miss their rotted limbs, possibly. I knew you were there once, but shedding you was the end of a painful and vulgar period I never should have been in to begin with.

I hope you do find another. And I hope that you love her and feel a sense of security with her.

I hope she then destroys you. Cheats on you. Calls you names. Lays hands on you. Lies to your face. Steals every bit of confidence you ever had. And I hope that when you're crying about it, she turns up the television to drown you out. Exactly like you did to me.

The fact is, I am lucky you were such a monster to me. If not, I would have settled for so much less than I am worth. Let's face it, on my worst day, you still shouldn't stand a chance at a conversation with me. If not for my incessant need to fix people, you never would have.

The Me I was all of those years before that loathsome bag of shit walked into my life, and the Me I still am, despite his efforts to take the very spark that defines me.

I suppose when you're such a vile and heinous individual that you can only elevate yourself by destroying the good you see around you, this was your idea of a relationship. Let's be clear. It wasn't. As far as I'm concerned, I don't even remember your name. You're just someone I spoke to in passing.