Separation/Divorce, Don't Remain the Prey
Divorce, Annulled....Life is never the same
There is always a certain level of trust lost in any relationship. There have been so many divorces in heterosexual relationships, that I actually know of a few homosexual relationships that have stood the test of time. If they can reach that level of happiness, if they can "get it right," I say, "more power to them." I know of many heterosexuals that will continue to believe that marriage is between one man and one woman, and refuses to change their mindset. However, what they fail to realize is that it is not up to them, but to their God. People really need to choose their battles. For me, this is not one.
Dating after divorce
I have come across more men that just plain and simply refuse to trust another woman, which, in turn, has made it very difficult for me to trust another man. Maybe I just don't want to? Maybe I have had too many men (3 in particular) prove to me, time and time again, that the gender just isn't worth it?
I have always bent over backwards for my relationships. If they needed someone to help them, or their friends and family move, who do you think came through for them? If they needed someone to help them, bite the bullet and get in touch with their children that they had been estranged from for a few years, who helped them make contact? If they needed someone to help them get out of a financial bind, who helped them out? However, now, I refuse to let this happen again. I refuse to be your "bail out" girl. Dating is no longer a thought in this girl's mind. There are only three things that I have faith in; God, my volunteer work and my dog.
Where to find the not-so-perfect find
The places where the bad men tend to live--Camp grounds, or a friend's unfinished basement. They can also still live with mom and dad, or have a roommate. Ladies, don't stop living due to a deadbeat. They will hurt you.
Where you find out that these divorced men's "ex - wives" and or "mothers" put them through bipolar hell, and these men have not paid their taxes in 10 years, which is the reason why they are living, or hiding out, in a camper, and doing odd jobs to where taxes are not even taken out, which should be against the law, right? Or, men who didn't have a job at the time of their divorce, their soon to be ex-wife uses that against them and says, "since you aren't working, I want you to sign over your rights to the kids, or end up in jail." This shouldn't be done, but it is. A LOT!! Do you think your significant other cares that the economy and unemployment rates suck? They don't. They are just glad to get what they want. They don't care what you need. People need to accept that, build themselves up and rely on no one. Accept what you have, and accept what you don't have. BE REALISTIC!! Don't jump through hoops. You will be happier.
When a parent is taken away from their children, most turn to drugs. They work at a low paying job, and they still buy their marijuana or whatever else that dulls their ache, but they also buy untainted urine from their drug dealer, so they can keep their low paying job. It's not that hard. Most employers don't do random drug testing, so it is very easy for employees to keep their low paying jobs. However, with jobs being difficult to come by....this is so wrong. It isn't fair to the American that continues to try and find employment and remain drug free.
How? How do employers give employees enough room to fake a drug test? Call me naïve. Sorry, I've never faked a drug test, I've just simply passed them. I took quite a few too.
I had been unemployed for awhile, I was a stay at home mom/military wife from 1992 - 2011. I went back to school in 2007; until 2012 when I received my bachelors in social work, 2012 to 2013--searching for work and doing volunteer work, 2013 -- having a seizure and being unable to drive for 6 months. Finally finding my first awesome social work job in 2015. Even though the job is only part time. I am alright with that. It works well with my seizure disability.
I had to go through such hardships to get my first social work job. However, I have heard several stories of how people got employed that are not drug free, because they have ways to pass a drug test. Why? Jobs are hard to come by, but some people pull the wool over employers eyes, because now drug dealers can get their clientele untainted urine. Stress was a main issue with my epileptic seizures. My unemployment stress was through the roof. Why? Just because my confidence was not drug induced I didn't get employment? It does not seem fair to me in the least.
Since being divorced 10 years now, I have come across quite a few, immature characters. Those that have absolutely no problem taking advantage of a woman. (I know there are women doing the same to men. Believe me. I heard about a woman stepping out of her 20 something year marriage to be with an 18 year old boy. So, I am not trying to be gender bias here. I just think some people should really open their eyes and really see what they are getting themselves into.)
People see my Facebook page and probably think, "geez, why is this lady sooo into dogs?" It is because I have run into way too many of these kinds of people above. Men that remain, immature, unhappy, untrusting, drug addicting, free loaders that just do not know how to be grateful for the helpful people that were in their lives. That the helpful people end up walking or being pushed away. Guess you can't fix stupid.
This is why I prefer the unconditional love of a dog. She hasn't disappointed me yet. I have quite a list of humans who have though, and I can guarantee that no human will be placed in that position again.
Maybe human life should be just like the Animal Kingdom. The prey and the predator.
Those people obtaining illegal drugs, should be living the phrase, "you snooze, you lose." Let those that don't have an addiction, a weakness, have first choice at jobs. Let employers, or whoever, pay more attention to drug testing. Because believe me, people are getting hired while taking illegal substances. Let those that do NOT have a drug induced sense of confidence, but rely on themselves, get employed in this country, and pay more attention to drug testing. I don't want good people out there stressing themselves out due to unemployment, and end up in the hospital with no health insurance, like I did.
Pay attention to the people. Give those that need to be given random drug testing a test. There will be more people that will need a job. Employers put up with too much from their employees. (Even the military.) Those that are career oriented will appreciate the opportunities. (I know I did and DO.) Those that are drug oriented really won't care because they will just continue with their drugged out stupor. Maybe when they wake up from their drug induced coma, they will realize that they don't have any money for drugs, and actually work and save up.