- Gender and Relationships»
- Romantic Intimacy
All Night Long?? Do People Still Have Sex For Hours Straight?
Do you remember what foreplay used to be? The time you and your partner spent caressing one another and kissing like high school kids. Do you remember the sensual massages, the strawberries and cream? Do you remember taking a half hour just to light candles all around your room and lay flower petals around? Do you remember making sure you were groomed just right and smelled like every last morsel of you could be eaten?
Those days are so far gone, I can barely remember their existence. It's not anyone's fault really. Things have just changed. Who has the time for all of the foreplay of the past? As the mother to three very active children, who goes to school and works full time, foreplay has a brand new meaning for me. I literally don't have the time or the patience for the old pampering, however nice it may be. If I get a sensual massage, I may fall asleep before it's done. If he gives me a drink at home and dim the lights, I'll be into a great night's sleep before he got the chance to cuddle next to me. If he brings strawberries and whipped cream to the bed, chances are I am going to be thinking about the mess I will have to clean up the following day.
I sound a bit ungrateful. I sound like I don't care to put in the effort. I sound like I am not interested in keeping a man interested. Truth is, foreplay just happens in a different way now and it doesn't just take place the two hours before sex actually happens, it takes place all day long. If I get up in the morning and the kids are already dressed and have eaten breakfast, oh I'm noticing. If I get to the cleaners and my blouses are already picked up, loosen the collar, it's getting warm. If the trash is already by the curb, I'm trying to remember if I'm baby smooth. If I get home and the kids are starting their homework and the sitter is has already been relieved, my panties are halfway to the floor. And if I got in and dinner was already made, and it wasn't Cheetos and ice cream, we may as well go straight into the bedroom (or closet, bathroom, garage, back of the truck, wherever is kid free).
Getting ready for sex no longer requires him to play with my hair or break out all the oils or going through ALL of the bases til you're ready to come home, Don't get me wrong though, I don't disavow all of those things altogether, I just don't have as much time as I used to. Whenever there is time, I would love to have a massage or have a drink. Those things are still sexy and they are still relaxing and they still help to get the mood started, even if I start off not in the mood, but they aren't a requirement.
Foreplay itself was two hours. Sex used to be all through the night and only stopping for bathroom and water breaks, but I wonder if people still have sex all night long? I have a lot of things on my mind for the next day and while I have no issue being in the moment, I don't want to have sex all night. I want to sleep. I need to sleep. Chances are I was up since 6 am like every other day and wrestling with children. Is that terrible? I feel like such a guy when I think these things. I feel that with my new terms for foreplay, time is actually saved when it comes time to "get it in," because he has been prepping me all day. He's got me one hundred percent invested for about thirty to forty-five minutes on a regular night. Don't showboat, just get 'er done. If we went out and had a few drinks or I managed to stay awake during drink time at home, he's got way more time to play, but still not all night. If we are both off in the morning and there are no kids home (how often does that happen), great, we can go for a couple rounds.
Doing it all requires so much from a mom and it can be incredibly hard to balance. Any way you prefer your foreplay and sex time, it's vital to have it. A healthy relationship needs it to thrive. If all of the foreplay ways of the past don't work for you, find your new triggers. It makes things so much easier when you know what helps turn you on.