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An Evergreen Legacy or Evidence of Lunacy You Decide!
Guru's come in all shapes, sizes and colors!
I have heard it said that “if you don’t have or want children, you are somehow selfish and will die a lonely old person”. I have also have heard “if you want children and name them after yourself you are somehow a narcissistic lunatic.”
We all know that BOTH of those previous statements speak more about the person that said them, than really about the intended target. There is perhaps something that we have failed to recognize.
That it isn’t so much that are children are our legacy, it’s the wisdom and knowledge that we leave behind, that is an evergreen legacy to our future generations.
We have heard it asked “what would you tell your 10 year old self?”, however, with today’s technology, you can now tell your ten year old self what is important and what really isn’t. It’s called Hub Pages, blogs, etc…, which leads us into “An Evergreen Legacy or Evidence of Lunacy.” You decide as you read through this article!
However, I cannot begin this article without giving a LEGACY SHOUT OUT, to my best-friend, husband and Best Part of Me.
Don is my inspiration, the wind beneath my wings, or whatever you want to call it…we really and truly are and have BECOME ONE.
To those of you that either knows us personally or through our hub articles and blogs, you have heard me say that Don and I are writing these together. To my first time readers after you finish this article please check out my others.
Everything that I write, it really is him and me, since we first got together; we have never allowed outside influences come between us, or the lessons that we teach are from our own personal experiences. He truly is the wind beneath my wings, my inspiration and glimpse into our creator.
Don's and My Birthday Edition Books for our 23rd Anniversary
One Hundred Years and Still Counting!
Don’s mother is 100 years old and still going strong. She still drives, lives alone, and works as the oldest and longest (50+ years as County Registrar) in the State of Pennsylvania.
She still types out multiple copies of death certificates each month on an old royal typewriter…she refuses to learn how to use a computer. Which we figure, and her bosses figure, she is old enough to make that decision, and far be it from anyone to try to change her mind.
With her 101 birthday coming soon, we wanted to get her something that she might enjoy, and something unique. What we found was something incredible. It was so incredible that Don and I bought a set for ourselves.
What was it I hear you asking, that is the cool part. We found a place that produces Very Large Personalized Coffee Table books, that contains the front page of either the Los Angeles Times, or the Washington Post for EVERY YEAR of your birthday!
Granted ours only had half as many pages as hers did…Mom has 100 pages, since she was born in 1914. Is that not a Way Cool Gift? This with all our other daily topics that we have time now to discuss led us to begin talking about Heritage and Legacy.
Heritage or Legacy what’s the difference?
During our discussions about the Life Phase articles that we had written, came the discussion on the topic of what is the difference between Heritage and Legacy.
Simply put, heritage is something that you are given because of your birthright or linage. A Legacy is what you leave behind. Now allow me to expound on that a bit with what we discovered from our research.
What caught our attention with the word heritage comes from a scripture in the bible. While I have read and taught on this verse of scripture from Psalm 127:3-5 many times; “Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are the children of his youth. Happy is the man that has his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they speak with the enemies in the gate.”
Five things jumped off the page as I read this scripture:
- Children are a heritage of the Lord
- The fruit of the womb is his reward
- Children are arrows in our quivers
- They shall not be ashamed
- They speak with the enemies in the gate
Children are a heritage of the Lord, the fruit of the womb his reward!
The first thing that we notice with this verse of scripture is that children are a heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is his reward. While many believe that the ability or inability to have natural born children is either a blessing or a curse. I believe this scripture is talking about two different types of offspring, Children and Fruit of the womb.
- You CAN have children, without ever having birthed them!
Three examples of having children without ever having given birth to them: Adopted Children, Spiritual Children, and Grandchildren. These three types represent your inheritance or heritage of the Lord.
Guru Development Phases
Age 0 – 5
Imprints on predominate Adult or Caregiver
Age 6 – 18
Learns to Navigate Life – Little Gurus begin to emerge
Age 19 and beyond
The Gurus of Life in full bloom
Fruit of the Womb the Gurus of Life
As an only child I never understood what siblings were like…that is until we had our own crew of 5 kids. While we were the Not So Brady Bunch, it was a lesson to be sure.
As a Pastor, I study God and His People, which is truly a lesson in humanity. Combine those two experiences, with learning and listening to comments on previous articles, you finally get a word for your fruit of the womb…The Gurus of Life!
As ducklings and goslings imprint on their parents, so do our children right from the womb of life!
The Male Peacock will Strut his Stuff to attract a Mate and Warn Offenders
Age 0 – 5: Imprints on predominate Adult or Caregiver
Consider if you will for a moment for those of you that already have children. We have all heard our parents telling us that oh little Johnny or Janie are just like you were at that age.
- CLUE: they are your MINI-YOU’s.
Whether you realize it or not, between the ages of 0 and 5 years old, your children just like little ducklings have imprinted YOU onto their brains.
Children’s primary caregiver is the one that they will be imprinted on, and begin to manifest “little you” traits. This is why so many times, parents and grandparents will say, “Awe…she reminds me of you at that age.”
This is exactly what Pastors and Children’s Pastors see every time you and your children arrive at church. Your children, whether you like it or not are direct reflections of you and are a window into your homes and home life. This is especially true between the ages of 0 and 5 because YOU are the only influence in their life at that time.
While I learned the “mini-me” lesson first hand through a simple statement made by my Uncle Lee, Don and I began to discover something interesting about this developmental phase in our children’s lives. His statement was when we were dealing with one very difficult middle child around age 10 or 11… “She reminds me of you, Cammy.”
While no one wants to hear that, especially when their child has gone into a Nuclear Meltdown in your Aunt and Uncles front yard, it was the catalyst to Don and me understanding our children better, as well as learning how to parent better.
At this stage of development, Grandparents also can begin to see into the lives of their grown children, and the people that they have married.
I was shocked and horrified by something that one of my grandchildren did in on a shopping trip one day. When I asked our son about what one of his kids had done, his response was, “Oh, he watches his mom do that all the time.”
So you see, between the ages of 0 – 5 pretty much, your children are playing Monkey See Monkey Do. While imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and I don’t know of any parent that doesn’t tend to strut like a peacock when their children imitate them, it can cut like a knife when you realize that your children are only playing Monkey See Monkey Do at this point in their life, with both your good qualities and your bad.
Gee, U R U – Age 6 and beyond!
While we sometimes wish that our children didn’t have to grow up, they will and they are becoming Unique Individuals. Those unique individuals carry a piece of our heart out into the world. They begin learning they really have no control on the world around them.
They also begin to realize that they need to learn how to survive in this wide open thing called LIFE. This is the emergence of the Guru in all of us. With that also comes your realization of your children, the day that they don’t make the same decisions you would, that Gee, URU. They do have a mind, will and emotion all of their very own, and like it or not they might do things differently than you.
While the GURU won’t arrive at the same time in their life for every one of your children, they will arrive. It is only when we are willing to listen and learn as our little GURU’s blossom and develops into their own, that we will become better Parents and Grandparents.
And it is at those times that we as parents feel that a piece of our hearts have been ripped from our chest, as they make their mistakes and their own decisions about life and how to survive in it.
Allowing for our Legacy to be built through the unique individuals called our children and fruit of our womb. Knowing that the lessons that you teach and possibly write down today, might just be for a 10 year old “mini-you” that is surely to show up somewhere down humanities generational lineage.
Has this article given you a different perspective on Parenting and Raising the Next Generation?
© 2015 Cammy Walters