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- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
Are Men Becoming Superflous to Women's Needs?
The queen and her shadow!
Women...you've come a long way alright.
Despite being in my time - and in my own opinion - arguably, one of the world’s greatest lovers, I have had some decidedly misogynistic moments lately.
Not ones of the kind which would have me taking up cudgels against the fairer sex or even remonstrating violently with one; much less do I feel driven into the arms of other males…
But I find women are being somewhat less than fair where the blame for many transgressions, sexual and otherwise, lie.
Take the Jimmy Saville mess unveiling daily in Great Britain. He’s long dead, poor sicko, and he does seem to have escaped justice in a life filled with fame, fortune, and the tears of both men and women deflowered, or sexually molested by him.
With so much outrage and so many victims emerging from the woodwork, even if only a small percentage of claims are true, there can be little doubt he was a nasty piece of work who used his exalted position with the BBC to lure girls or boys into his web. Ruling out children, and staying with the late teenage element, what we don’t know is how many threw themselves at Saville: groupies who hoped some of the stardust would rub off on them and weren’t terribly disturbed at the time that sexual fumblings - or worse - was any more than a price one paid to keep in the favor of the influential.
I mean, how many came forward at the time and complained? Very few if any, yet more than 300 have come forward now.
This began in the so called swinging-sixties where sexual freedom was not yet tempered by fears of the diseases rampant today. And young women certainly did not have the protection offered to the vulnerable.
But surely Saville’s influence and behavior was also no more than an exaggerated example of what has always gone on when women have used their sexuality to gain favors or power? And in an epoch where young women especially were treated as sex objects.
OK, pick a figure and stick to it. Our society has decided that a woman under sixteen is still a child. But evolution has picked a much more effective yardstick, if you like - that of menstruation.- sexually ready teenagers of both sexes find their hormones are stronger than any restrictions placed by their creed, parents, or country and are “hooking-up” and “going all the way” not very long after their 12th or 13th birthdays and even younger is common.
And if young Betty or Ada has been regularly having intercourse with lads behind the bike shed for a couple of years, it’s a very small adjustment to moving into the world of glitter and starlight, drink and drugs, that surrounded a Jimmy Saville…or our rock bands today
OK, the law’s the law and men are rightly supposed to exercise judgment and control; the penalty remains severe for having carnal knowledge of a child - that is, a female under the age of sixteen, although, in honesty, the law is rightly more lenient if both parties are about the same age.
Yet, of course, perhaps more enlightened societies than the UK see menstruating girls much younger may engage in sexual relations and even get married.
Another point I would like to raise is one occasioned by watching reality cop shows in the UK, etc., where youths - teens, both male and female in our resort towns - are getting disgracefully drunk and are apparently sexually liberated in front of watchers, giving us all little doubt what goes on back in the hotel.
Yet when there is a reported rape, the fact the victim and the perpetrator are youngsters who were allowed to become drunk until practically paralyzed is rarely commented upon and the man/boy who committed the offence is judged far more culpable that the female victim who was skimpily dressed, her breasts and more hardly covered and who had been entwined around her young escort all night: up to the point of penetration we assume.
But the male was supposed to say “NO,” or listen to weak protestations from his partner for him to stop although her body language, perhaps, said otherwise. Then, in the cold light of day when perhaps the drunken young chap has disappeared, the girl may cry “rape” for a variety of reasons.
Now, I am not defending rape - real rape, where violence and domination is the object and the aggressor should and does get a long jail term. I just want the courts to always take into question the actions of both parties which led up to a young girl crying “rape.”
Women in Britain don’t often consider, I am sure, what a good deal this society has dealt them and how much of a Matriarchy we have become.
There are still some iniquities regarding employment, yet the “glass ceiling” has been shattered some years ago and there is no limit to the heights women can achieve, (except in certain religions like Catholicism which seems determined to exclude women for reasons I don’t dare speculate on in print).
Just a brief shopping trip will show men how they have become the forgotten gender in the UK as shop after shop has the greater percentage of their wares on show for the ladies. Clothing, for example, the blokes get a dark corner of the store for their needs, women are the shoppers they provide for…or women have the ground floor while men have to take the stairs (Right, Marks and Spencer!?).
Same for publications, magazines, catalogues and even the daily papers, which devote whole sections to female interests and much less (if you take out the sports pages) to men.
The TV soaps seem mainly concerned with repetitive female interests with some men kept around to fill in when the dialogue hits a pregnant pause, ahem.
Men now have to accept women commenting on their sports, although we would generally prefer commentators who have played rugby, football and cricket, or driven racing cars, boxed and wrestled. Whoops! That’s right, women are now competing in all these sports, too! And occasionally they are skilled commentators (but we still want a guy!). I suspect women prefer female commentators, too, where their teams are concerned.
Something else I find bemusing and rather annoying is the way women now do what they used to hate in men back in the, er, good old days. Feminists objected to the way men were sexist about women, admiring their “boobs” and “backsides.” A slap and a tickle was considered de rigueur in the office by an expansive boss to his secretary (while she made the coffee). Now men, in general, have ceased all this behavior in the face of female hostility.
Now it’s the girls who are sexist towards men, discussing men’s “tush,” and even their “lunchboxes,” (yes, that’s what it means!). And it has been increasingly common for girls to discuss men’s penis size (“Yes, length matters,” they giggle). Can you imagine the outcry if men discussed vaginas in this way on public forums,
Women shows with nude male dancers who get quite raunchy with the audience as they stuff notes into their g-strings, (no, the girls do the stuffing!). (“The Chippendales” began this and the movie “The Full Monty“). Yet if men behave like this these days there is an outcry from feminists and their ilk; some women have even objected at mild comments from their superiors, such as “You look nice today,” saying they are sexist. (Mustn’t say “babe,” “sugar,” or affectionate sobriquets like these any more).
Now, male nude sites and videos are all over the Internet…yet women object strongly to mainly male pornographic sites, such as U-Porn, etc., saying it “denigrates women!”|
Where once it was common for a man to marry a woman some years younger than himself, this pendulum has swung to favor the distaff side as well. Women actively seek mates younger than themselves, giving birth to the “Cougars” and “Toy Boys” of our times. Even females on dating sites request dates, writing “A few years younger would suit as I am very active!” (Mine isn’t long enough!).
You’ve certainly come “A long way, babes,” You now have us where you want us, on our knees and begging for equality ourselves. But, as many females say today, as lesbian relationships as well as marriage with child adoption proliferate and are common and legal, and mechanical devices are available to take women to sexual highs beyond their mere partner‘s ability so to do, women often say, “Men, who needs them!?”
The poor blokes, still lusting to return from where they were ejected at birth, forgive the ladies all their sins and allow this domination without much complaining. And, in all honesty, men had it all their own way for centuries and can’t really protest convincingly now the boot is on the other foot…the one wearing the Jimmy Choos with 5-inch heels that some male slave was kind enough to buy her!
PS Can any hubber or editor please tell me why ads were disabled immediately I published this? The langauge is mild with no swearing and the philosophy is far from new. Money is all, eh?