ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Are Men Presumptuous? Or Why Can't We Just be Friends?

Updated on August 25, 2014
Why Can't Men And Women Just Be Friends?
Why Can't Men And Women Just Be Friends? | Source

He Thinks He’s God’s Gift to Women

A very attractive thirtyish friend of mine is constantly encountering presumptuous men who just can't swallow the fact that she only wants to be friends. She knows how to use her considerable charms on a man to get what she wants – it could be a brilliant smile at a traffic cop or at the mechanic who has her car at his mercy. It could be the shop keeper so he gives her a discount, but the last time she tried her charms on a guy who works at a garage, she bit off more than she could chew.

“I was astounded by the man,” she says. “He came home to show me a car I wanted to buy and because I thought he went out of his way to do so, I invited him in for a cup of tea and answered his rather personal questions as frankly as I normally do. You know, questions like how many kids I have and what my husband does and that sort of thing. I suppose I shouldn’t have done that because he began to warble on and on about how unique I am and how talented

and then he suddenly grabbed my hand and kissed it! I almost slapped him.

I think he was emboldened because I told him I was separated from my husband. I warned him that all I was interested in was the business deal and that if he did that sort of thing again, I would get him fired from his job.

But even today if I need to go to the garage where he works, he says he’s crazy about me. He still goes out of his way to do little things for my car without charging for it. I wonder what makes a man like him (he smells of grease and is not that great looking either) think that a woman like me would be interested in him. And it’s not just this guy. It’s a lot of other guys I’ve been friendly with. They too think I’m out for a roll in the hay. It really happens only in India! I’ve been to other countries you know, and no one thinks that being open and friendly is a sexual come on.”

Women Wonder Why Men Are So Presumptuous
Women Wonder Why Men Are So Presumptuous | Source

Men More Broad-Minded in Canada

Sabrine B, 19, who’s lived in Canada for 15 years before coming down to India echoes the same sentiment: “In Canada guys are naturally friendly and don’t take it as a come on if you reciprocate. I was studying in Kodaikanal for a while and there was this European guy there who was very physically demonstrative in his affection with everyone. The girls thought he was sleazy because he would put his arm around them and that sort of thing. Maybe they’re not to blame. After all, most Indian guys who do that do it with sexual motives. You’ve really got to watch it here. You can’t tell whether a guy is talking to you because he wants to be your friend or your lover.”

Smile At A Guy And He Thinks You Fancy Him!
Smile At A Guy And He Thinks You Fancy Him! | Source

Men Are the Same All Over

Says Ranjana S: I’m an outgoing sort of person who loves making friends and have always had more male friends than girlfriends. But not all guys understand that sort of a platonic relationship. It does happen that when I have intentions of just being friendly, they think it’s something more than that. Foreigners aren’t any different in this regard. Men are men all over although it also depends where you are. In Mumbai guys are openly friendly without being sexual, as compared to Bangalore where they are rather petty minded.”

Do You Think Men Mistake Your Friendliness For A Come On?

See results

Conditioning and Men’s Attitude to Women

So what is the real truth? Seems to me that it’s more a question of the conditioning guys are put through when they are young. I sometimes miss that India of yore where women weren’t branded loose just because they conversed with men. In fact, women even enjoyed a sexual freedom that even the most liberated woman today would envy. Remember the ‘Swayamvara’ where she could choose her own mate from a bevy of male beauties? We’ve come a long way, guys!


Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Anita Saran profile imageAUTHOR

      Anita Saran 

      4 years ago from Bangalore, India

      Ha Ha! Me too Billybuc! Thanks for reading.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I'd rather be friends than have sex. Maybe I'm finally growing up. :)

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)