Are Nice Guys A Turn Off?
A while back I heard a guy ranting about how he had lost a dog of his. He had the dog for about a week and was worried sick over it being all alone in the woods. Even shared with us that he cried over it. And all I could think about as he told his story was that he needed to toughen up. He only had the dog for a week, why was he so emotional over it? How could he possibly have gotten so attached to it? Soon after my thought, I couldn’t help but chuckle at myself. Isn’t that what I would look for in a boyfriend? Isn’t that what we want? Someone who’s sensitive and understanding?
But is it? Females do want someone that cares for the little things but don’t they also want someone that is strong and won’t cry just because the wind blows in a different direction? Some nice guys may not be emotional to that extent but they just don’t have the edge that’s needed to get them to the second level. Often times they beat around the bush instead of coming out and saying what they want or how they feel. Does that behavior stem from a fear of rejection? For example a guy may want to take you out and instead of saying, “Let’s go out Friday night.” They say something as general as, “I’m ready to go out and see a friend.” What is that? Are you the friend? Do they want to go out with you? Where is the authority? Nice guys are sweet for only so long and sooner or later they will be locked in the “friend” category and sit in level 1’s waiting chamber.
Other nice guys just keep everything under wraps and just want to hang out endlessly. Never giving you any inclination that they are interested in you as more than a friend. How are you supposed to pick up on this if there aren’t any signs given? For all you know they have chosen to play for the other team and just want to be movie buddies. Then later you find out they want something more. By then it’s too late and you can never imagine seeing them in that light. Nice guys have to learn to speak up for what they want or they won’t get it. Men lacking assertiveness can be deemed as weak. Nice guys with no confidence are not a turn on whatsoever.
Some nice guys are “Yes, dear” men. These are the ones that only do what you say and have no mind of their own. I’m sorry, but if a woman wanted a child to give orders to instead of a spouse she could have had one long time ago. There are plenty of sperm banks and adoption agencies to go around. And for some women this is okay. They want to be the controlling force in a relationship. For them I say good for you but not for me. And believe me there are plenty of times that I would rather tell my boyfriend what to do and have him do it without a second thought. But in the end, a man without a backbone, is just not attractive. Part of a man’s appeal is the ability for him to take charge in certain situations and handle what needs to be handled.
So is there such a thing as a guy being too sensitive? I think so. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a nice guy. There is nothing like a man that can display his emotions, take care of the kids and can turn on the romance without being told to. But I do believe that there is a limit to being too sensitive. I want to know that I have a strong shoulder that I can lean on when the tough times get going. I want to feel protected when I feel scared. Is there anything wrong with that? I don’t think so.