ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Are Nice Guys A Turn Off?

Updated on November 27, 2011


A while back I heard a guy ranting about how he had lost a dog of his. He had the dog for about a week and was worried sick over it being all alone in the woods. Even shared with us that he cried over it. And all I could think about as he told his story was that he needed to toughen up. He only had the dog for a week, why was he so emotional over it? How could he possibly have gotten so attached to it? Soon after my thought, I couldn’t help but chuckle at myself. Isn’t that what I would look for in a boyfriend? Isn’t that what we want? Someone who’s sensitive and understanding?

But is it? Females do want someone that cares for the little things but don’t they also want someone that is strong and won’t cry just because the wind blows in a different direction? Some nice guys may not be emotional to that extent but they just don’t have the edge that’s needed to get them to the second level. Often times they beat around the bush instead of coming out and saying what they want or how they feel. Does that behavior stem from a fear of rejection? For example a guy may want to take you out and instead of saying, “Let’s go out Friday night.” They say something as general as, “I’m ready to go out and see a friend.” What is that? Are you the friend? Do they want to go out with you? Where is the authority? Nice guys are sweet for only so long and sooner or later they will be locked in the “friend” category and sit in level 1’s waiting chamber.

Other nice guys just keep everything under wraps and just want to hang out endlessly. Never giving you any inclination that they are interested in you as more than a friend. How are you supposed to pick up on this if there aren’t any signs given? For all you know they have chosen to play for the other team and just want to be movie buddies. Then later you find out they want something more. By then it’s too late and you can never imagine seeing them in that light. Nice guys have to learn to speak up for what they want or they won’t get it. Men lacking assertiveness can be deemed as weak. Nice guys with no confidence are not a turn on whatsoever.

Some nice guys are “Yes, dear” men. These are the ones that only do what you say and have no mind of their own. I’m sorry, but if a woman wanted a child to give orders to instead of a spouse she could have had one long time ago. There are plenty of sperm banks and adoption agencies to go around. And for some women this is okay. They want to be the controlling force in a relationship. For them I say good for you but not for me. And believe me there are plenty of times that I would rather tell my boyfriend what to do and have him do it without a second thought. But in the end, a man without a backbone, is just not attractive. Part of a man’s appeal is the ability for him to take charge in certain situations and handle what needs to be handled.

So is there such a thing as a guy being too sensitive? I think so. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a nice guy. There is nothing like a man that can display his emotions, take care of the kids and can turn on the romance without being told to. But I do believe that there is a limit to being too sensitive. I want to know that I have a strong shoulder that I can lean on when the tough times get going. I want to feel protected when I feel scared. Is there anything wrong with that? I don’t think so.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Camo Girl!! 6 years ago

      Thank you and you too have a good day!!!!

    • NiaG profile image
      Author

      NiaG 6 years ago from Louisville, KY

      Good for you Camo Girl! Glad you found someone that treats you right. Thanks for dropping in a comment. Have a good day!

    • profile image

      Camo Gilrl!!! 6 years ago

      I do to like a guy who will cry and No nice guy do trun me on i like nice guys i did like bad boys but i meet a nice guy and i really like him and he likes me too!!!

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 6 years ago from Florida

      I like a man who is manly, but still sensitive. Most men will never let anyone see them cry, but I like a man who can cry.

    • Alecia Murphy profile image

      Alecia Murphy 6 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

      I think you're right about guys who lack assertiveness. It's not so much about only being nice but also having the backbone to stand up for himself and make definitive choices. There's something about someone who knows what they want instead of just trying to please everyone.

    • NiaG profile image
      Author

      NiaG 6 years ago from Louisville, KY

      You Sir Ghaelach would be a great example of the perfect nice guy. As long as you don't allow your wife to walk all over you or anybody for that matter there is nothing wrong with it. Sensitive men are still a plus in my book. Thanks for leaving us with a comment from the other side of the fence. Have a wonderful day!

    • profile image

      Ghaelach 6 years ago

      MorningNia.

      Being a fifferent shape than you lovely ladies that puts me on the male side of the fence.

      Is it not nice when your male partner comes home from work with a nice bunch of flowers? and that's not because he would like desert after his evening meal. Is it not nice when he is having his desert that he whispers in your ear that he loves you. Or does the shopping at the weekend, or take the kids off your hands for a couple of hours and goes down to the park with them??

      I think that if i was one of the girls i'd like my man to do nice things for me and that wouldn't mean he's a sissy.

      There's a big difference between the loving, caring, respectful man as to he that comes home from work after his 8 hour day flops in the chair waits for his meal with his feet up and a beer in one hand and ciggy in the other. He's the Hard one that thinks you girls have nothing to do all day except sit on the phone and quatch to one another.

      No, I'll keep my Mr Nice guy title and my wife loves me for it.

      I would think there are enough ladies in these secure female houses that would agree with me.

      So Nia, thats what i think, right or wrong!!

      Take care Nia and have a nice week.

      LOL Ghaelach

    • NiaG profile image
      Author

      NiaG 6 years ago from Louisville, KY

      You said it perfectly princess. Nice is always in but being nice to the point where your almost invisible is not attractive. Nice + assertive when necessary is definitely a plus. Thanks for stopping by ladies! As usual, it's always nice to talk to you both. Have a lovely day!

    • NiaG profile image
      Author

      NiaG 6 years ago from Louisville, KY

      I love you Clara and you know you are more than welcome to comment as long as you'd like. Tough guys that are constantly angry and walking around with a chip on their shoulder are not for me but someone that knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go after it is another thing. I like a man that is assertive and can take control if he needs to.

    • princesswithapen profile image

      princesswithapen 6 years ago

      Nia

      Nice guys who are not the 'yes, dear' men seem to be on top of every woman's life. Being nice has never went out of vogue however men who are nice + assertive when they need to be, make for perfect partners.

      Nice hub!

      Princesswithapen

    • clara kish@yahoo. profile image

      Clara Kish 6 years ago from Mt. Perry. Ohio

      Hi NiaG,I just read your hub about nice guy, My husband was 6 ft. maybe a little over and weighed about 240 when I met him ,he was a nice guy but definitely not a sissy. I knew some others but I loved the nice guy.sorry,I didn't mean to go on like this. I liked your hub even if the tough guy wasn't for me. I guess some of the tough guys I knew were not too likeable no ,I didn't go with them.clara

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)