- Gender and Relationships
Are You Dating A Fair Weather Guy? -Stephanie Bailey
Who doesn't like to hear those two sexy words groaned behind a sore throat covered in phlegm, "I'm sick."
When you’re sick, you might as well have the plague because that's how some guys will treat you.
A true test of a relationship is when you are sick; cold, flu or perhaps something worse—is he there for you, or does he keep you at bay?
I get it, when you hear the word sick, you’re not thinking of fun times and laughter. Naturally what goes through your mind is that you don't want to get contaminated. What if the person who is sick is someone you are in a relationship with? Do you offer to bring them soup and take care of them? Do you keep your distance with random phone calls and texts until the coast is clear?
I have dated guys from both ends of the spectrum. If you're anything like me, having a guy see you sick and vulnerable is undesirable (to say the least), especially if you just started dating. The true character of a man (or woman) is to watch their reactions when you are sick.
There are several reactions that a guy may have when he hears that you are sick. He may offer to bring you soup, or anything else you need. If you are living together or have exchanged keys—he may take care of you; making you soup, picking up medicine, making sure you are comfortable, etc. Or, he may hide, quarantining himself from you.
I have dated men that offered to bring me soup, or whatever I needed, to aid in my recovery. I have also had long term relationships where the men had a caring approach when I was sick—coming to my rescue like Superman—fearlessly getting me back to health with all their might! And then there were those men who would act by either not responding, or treating me like I had the plague.
I lived with a guy that showed me how deeply he cared by quarantining himself from me when I had the flu. He was so worried about getting sick that he refused to help me when I needed him the most. The most hurtful thing wasn't just puking nonstop for over ten hours, wondering if I was going to die, but knowing that the man I thought cared for me disappeared when needed. When I communicated how hurtful his actions were, his response was, "So I'm supposed to risk getting sick because you are?" Wow! The interesting thing is that a few weeks later when he got sick, he expected me to take care of him—ironic to say the least. Needless to say, that relationship did not last.
It stinks when a man treats you like you have the plague, but what about the man who only thinks of his needs being affected when you’re sick?
One of my close friends was dating a guy who had the nerve to say (when she was sick with the flu), "So that means I'm not going to get any (sex) later tonight?" Seriously? He didn't even have the compassion or basic social skills to ask how she was feeling. He couldn’t even display some sympathy to let her know that he hoped she felt better soon. Sometimes it's enough just to know that someone cares.
When you are dating someone or are in a relationship, you want to know that they not only care about you, but will also be there for you when you are going through something difficult. Are they willing to stand by you and love you no matter what? When you are ill, you gain an insight into how a man will ultimately treat you in a relationship. Do you want a man who will run and hide? A man who does not show compassion for your situation? Do not sell yourself short. Find a man who will stick by your side—in sickness, and in health.