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Are You In Need Of A Vacation Boyfriend?

Updated on July 20, 2015
Miss-Adventures profile image

My passion is writing about love, sex, dating, and relationships. I write based on my own personal experiences and those that I relate to.

A vacation boyfriend is a guy who you meet while you are visiting a different location, usually somewhere tropical or out of the country, that you have a brief (the extent of your trip) encounter with. You don't care about time frames or what anything means—you can just be yourself for a week or two.

Since you know that this "relationship" is only for a short time, there is a stress-free feeling. The normal expectations or "rules" don't apply. Basically you're not worried about the typical things—"waiting" to share personal things about yourself, being affectionate, when to have sex (if you choose), if he will "call you the next day" (since he's staying at the resort), and how often or how much you drink alcohol. The experience you end up sharing with this man is usually simple, carefree, and drama free—probably because there isn't enough time for drama to occur.

Since many relationships (unfortunately) end unexpectedly, why not have a relationship in which you know the means and end?

Relationships end when one or both people involved have decided that what they thought was heading towards a future together is no longer the plan. This finale usually ends with heartbreak and pain—and it tends to be one person who feels this way. What would happen if you could avoid all the unnecessary drama by already knowing the “how” and “why” of the end, before the relationship even starts? There would be less emotional stress, right?

With many relationships, even a vacation boyfriend can freak out and make the "should be" fun experience into worrying about what he "assumes" you actually want—aka: serious relationship. This worry with some guys can happen after you spend a lot of time together or possibly sleep together. This, ladies, can be an annoying damper on your sassy-relaxing vacation time. The extra time with him (or sex) might be shortened due to his overly excessive assumptions...so be very clear that you are not trying to make him a long distance boyfriend once the trip is over. If you have told him, and he still can't be mature about it and relax, he's the one who would be missing out.

Of course, it can also be easy to get caught up in the moment, thinking that maybe (possibly) things could continue after you both return home—however unrealistically, unless he happens to live in the same state as you (which rarely occurs)—usually ends up being unsuccessful.

Long distance relationships are hard. Since there is a fantasy feeling around meeting a man on a vacation, the allure of liking him in a “real life” can be deceiving. Most people show a more carefree open side when they vacation. However, the reality is usually the opposite. It can be easy for a guy to give you all the attention you deserve when you meet him outside of his normal element—he's there to have fun—leaving the stresses of work behind, but once he's home and life kicks in it can be a whole other experience. The guy you think you were ga-ga for could really be self-absorbed or selfish with his time—seeing relationships on the bottom of his priority list.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you can't have a relationship with a guy you meet on vacation—I have heard many stories of couples that have met that way. Since meeting a long-term partner happens less often that way (again, successfully) just be realistic and know that it does take a lot of extra work.

For a relationship to be successful past the glitz and glamour, it usually helps if your vacation is extended over several weeks or possibly as long a month, giving you adequate time to get to know one another on many deeper levels and share personal information and experiences. If your encounter is only a week long, hopefully you had more meaningful conversations than alcohol shots to determine if you both want to pursue something further.

The point of having a vacation boyfriend—if you happen to meet one—is to add a little spice in your vacation endeavors. It's important to not get caught up on "future" and to focus on staying in the present and enjoying everything yummy (because it usually is) that this man and temporary relationship has to offer.

I have met a few vacation boyfriends throughout my traveling. One guy I met in particular was the result of my best friend and me going to the Caribbean for my birthday. It was one of the best birthdays that I have had, and meeting this vacation boyfriend put the icing on my cake.

From the moment we met there was an instant connection. This guy was not only good looking, but also had an accent that made him extremely sexy. When he found out that I was there to celebrate my birthday he and his friend insisted on taking my girlfriend andme out for dinner. Since we ended up spending several days and evenings exploring the resort together with these guys, there was no hesitation when they offered to celebrate my birthday with us.

My birthday was perfect. We spent the day at the pool and then my vacation boyfriend and his friend took us to a restaurant that was off a cliff that overlooked the ocean. The wine and food were delicious. We spent hours eating, laughing and talking over candle light—he even surprised me with a dessert that had a candle in it and wished me happy birthday. What more could a girl ask for? Not only was I celebrating my birthday with one of my best friends, but also my sexy vacation boyfriend—who was more than an incredible kisser.

The rest of my trip spent together with him was perfect...however, some great things must come to an end. Since he lived in another country, the romantic notion of seeing each other again was there, but the reality of it actually happening was not. We did email each other after the trip ended for a bit, but long-distance—especially in different countries—was not realistic (for me). It was very hard to say good-bye to my vacation boyfriend—the memories he left me still dance in my head and put a huge smile on my face whenever I think about him.

Most vacation boyfriends can go with the flow of the experience, but some have a harder time with it...

I met another vacation boyfriend when I was at a resort in the tropics. Our first connection was at the swim-up bar when we were both ordering drinks. This guy was tall, dark and very handsome.

He had a sexy voice, charming smile and kind eyes—the way he would look into my eyes was mesmerizing. Conversations were organic and easy going. He was extremely attentive—checking in to see if I needed anything and re-ordering drinks when I was low.

I ended up seeing my vacation boyfriend during the day at the pool and then we would make plans to meet up to watch the resort evening entertainment at night. Every time we saw each other our flirtation would intensify—drawing us physically closer. Just feeling the heat of his breath on my face and neck when he would get close to me or stand behind me would send chills down my spine. Kissing this man was breathtaking—his lips were soft and his kisses made me crave more.

Our physical connection was mind blowing. Every kiss was erotic, every touch sent vibrations throughout my body...and our breath was intensely in sync. Luckily we had a few days left before we departed to immerse in each other again (and again)...or so I thought....

Unfortunately, that did not happen. This vacation boyfriend couldn't just relax and enjoy the experience. Instead he got into his own head and became standoffish—emotionally pushing me away. Great. Even though we talked about his behavior, it still put a damper on what should have been the perfect vacation boyfriend scenario. Departing was still hard since the chemistry between us was strong and our last kiss the day we left the resort lingered on my lips. Regardless of the strange day we had, meeting him was still a wonderful experience.

Ladies, having a vacation boyfriend means that you don't have to worry about your words or actions or over stepping boundaries. It's a vacation from the normal relationship anxiety that most people feel at some point. And, if you're at an all-inclusive resort, there is zero feeling of being indebted to him. He can go out of his way to order you a drink or take you to dinner since he's not paying for anything. A vacation boyfriend can definitely put the needed pep back in your step and give you even fonder memories of your time in paradise.

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 22 months ago

      Voted up and interesting!

      I can see why a lot of men and women are against taking separate vacations with their friends. LOL!

      I use to tell one of my friends we should fly to some island and pretend to be natives to pick up on American girls. :) Accents/dialects are like an aphrodisiac for some women especially while on vacation. :)

      Seriously everyone throws out their "must have list" when on vacation. A woman may spend time with a handsome bus boy from a restaurant while on vacation but would never date someone in that occupation at home. I've also noticed the further away from home people are the less inhibited they become. They're open to nude and topless beaches as well as being more sexually adventurous throwing caution to the winds.

      As you noted sometimes the hardest thing to deal with is keeping things in perspective. It's so easy to romanticize a vacation that when it ends one or both people start to talk about trying to figure out how to build a relationship outside of paradise. Nevertheless most men and women seem to be able to move on after their vacation experience. This puts another hole into the theory that women can't have "no strings sex" like men because of the hormone oxytocin which bonds them to their lover.

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