ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Are You Ready To Share Your Life With Him?

Updated on September 8, 2014
Miss-Adventures profile image

My passion is writing about love, sex, dating, and relationships. I write based on my own personal experiences and those that I relate to.

Although it can be very easy to always blame the guy for not stepping up to the so-called "plate of commitment," or not moving the relationship to the next level, what if the real issue is you?

What you proclaim you want—a relationship, will come, but do you really want it? When you are consistently attracting men who are emotionally unavailable, men with endings or even men who are available, but when they ask you for a commitment, you panic inside, it is usually due to the fact that you are not completely emotionally available. Perhaps you don't feel you are worthy of this unconditional true love you are being offered.

Sometimes it can be easy to convince yourself that you want (and are ready for) a relationship— even when you are not, especially when most of your friends and siblings are in committed relationships, married and/or have kids.

As time passes and the longer you remain single, what you start to feel can be a double edged sword. Not being in a relationship can seem depressing, while at the same time, being in a relationship will seem frightening.

I fully believe that being single is a great way to figure out what you really want in a significant other and ultimately in a relationship. However, the longer you stay in single-hood—single or just dating, you can end up becoming very set in your ways and routines. Although having things you enjoy doing and routines that make you feel balanced are great, can you balance it all when you do meet a guy who wants to move the relationship to the next level? If you can't, then being in a commitment will feel suffocating.

You put the wish out there for a man who meets all of your criteria...he seems to be everything you want. He plays no games, he is trustworthy, respects you, talks to you with loving words, compliments you, and finds you sexy. He makes you laugh, you find him sexy, he is great in bed, he is affectionate, romantic, and he challenges you—making you want to be a better person each and every day. He also cooks and cleans, he is supportive of your passions and dreams, he is a great communicator, he is there for you when you need him, and your family and friends love him. So, what's the problem? Could the common denominator in all of your past equations actually be you?

It can be both exciting and scary to finally find the guy you have been wishing for. So scary that pushing him away—causing the relationship to unravel, may just seem easier than allowing your tender heart to become involved. For many women it can be difficult not to feel as though they are losing themselves when they are in a relationship, especially if they spend a lot of time with a guy and most of the things they have been doing on a consistent or regular basis changes—sometimes rather drastically.

Working out (gym, yoga, Pilates, etc.) lessen. Spending time with your friends, family, and even your beloved pet, seems to become less often. Time you had always spent running errands, paying your bills, and basic "you time," significantly changes as well. These lifestyle changes can make you feel tired, suffocated, and resentful. When you have these feelings, it can cause you to start questioning if any relationship is right for you and if you are indeed ready to share your life with him, or any man for that matter.

All relationships need to have a balance in order for you to not feel as though you are losing yourself. This balance can be hard to maintain, especially when the relationship is new and spending time together is all you want to do. Yes, it's natural to want to spend time together—the more time you spend, the closer you become—strengthening the relationship. But, how do you keep this relationship from unraveling or possibly tangling you up?

Communication is very important. I know that sometimes it can be hard to communicate what exactly is going on when you yourself are not fully aware. Without knowing, a conversation will seem pointless, however, a conversation still needs to happen—even if it's to express that you are having a challenging or emotional moment. Or, perhaps simply to let him know that you have a lot on your mind and you may need a few days on your own to sort things out. Expressing something, is better than nothing in order to prevent your relationship from unraveling. If he is the right guy for you, he will give you the space you need, listen to your concerns and be supportive.

Relationships can be scary and that's ok, they scare me. However, the realization—being able to recognize what you feel, will help you move past those feelings. Hiding your feelings will not, and most importantly, is unhealthy and benefits no one.

Ladies, changing the direction of a relationship from dating to exclusivity, can first make you feel ecstatic, before the panic button goes off. Realizing that you are no longer single—a free bird to do whatever you choose, whenever you choose to do it, can be more than frightening than being single. Give yourself a reality check. Are you just too selfish to share yourself with another? Or...is the thought of spending the rest of your life with just one person, no matter how special he is, just too much to accept?

Bottom-line, always be open and honest with yourself—as much as you can, about what you are feeling. Ultimately, you're the only one who really knows if you are ready to share your life with him. Although potentially scary, for the right guy, it is worth it.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Miss-Adventures profile imageAUTHOR

      Stephanie Bailey 

      4 years ago from Denver

      Thank you for the Vote Up dashingscorpio. I agree with all your points, especially the top two reasons why people get divorced....very truthful!

      Thank you for reading and as always, thank you for commenting. :)

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      4 years ago

      Voted up and useful!

      "Sometimes it can be easy to convince yourself that you want (and are ready for) a relationship— even when you are not." - Very true!

      I believe a lot of folks enter into relationships because they believe it what they're (suppose) to want. If someone has the gall to say they don't want to ever get married more often than not everyone in the room will descend upon them as if they lost their mind! "You have a fear of commitment." or "Everyone should try it at least once." In a lot of folks eyes single means "lonely" and not "free".

      This whole notion that there is something wrong with being single/free and causally dating whomever you want whenever you want is seen as being unnatural. Therefore most people attempt to conform.

      The top two reasons why people get divorced in my opinion are:

      1. Choosing the wrong mate for themselves.

      2. Getting married for the wrong reasons.

      Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself. :)

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)