ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Arranged Marriages are Made in Heaven

Updated on March 4, 2015

Do you believe in love at first sight? How about “marriages are made in Heaven”? If marriages are made in heaven, why are there so many divorces and abuse in relationships? I grew up in a world filled with fantasy stories of Cinderella and Snow White. I always thought that a guy would show up one day and sweep me off my feet. Nothing like that ever happened. As years went by, I started wondering if love would ever happen to me.


ring ceremony
ring ceremony

Eventually, peer pressure and family pressure took a toll and I agreed to an arranged marriage. I had nothing against arranged marriages because I grew up in a culture where it was a norm. However, what I feared was getting to that attachment and feeling of love that is shown in love marriages through movies.

Debates on whether love marriages are successful or arranged marriages happen everywhere. Neither one has ever won, but both have their own pros and cons. Love marriages are more common in western culture while arranged marriages in eastern culture.


Indian wedding
Indian wedding

When you had a love marriage, the boy and girl have already gone through many stages prior to marriage that an arranged marriage couple has to go through after marriage. They already had an opportunity to know each other better and understand each others vices.

A couple in love had many dating opportunities and know what they can stand of each other. They also have had many arguments and fights to come to some compromises and adjustments. This all happens prior to marriage so that after marriage they would just need to move to the "honeymoon phase."


What is the secret to your marriage

See results

In arranged marriages, you are basically starting from scratch. The foundation of an arranged marriage is many adjustments and compromises. There are no expectations from the other individual since you don't know each other to begin with.

The first year is like being boyfriend and girlfriend when you are figuring each other out. Unlike a relationship prior to marriage where you have the option to opt out, you would think twice after marriage. This is when there would be compromises and in some cases settling. You would fight to keep the marriage alive.


In arranged marriages, the couple comes from a similar background so they are more likely to share the same views of what marriage means and what they define as family. Often, couples who have their marriages arranged by their families have similar religious, financial and social backgrounds.

Another benefit of arranged marriages is for women. It provides them more security because many people were involved in her marriage. As it is said in India, "Marriages are not between two individuals, but of two families."

The couple get support and guidance from the extended families. In some traditional societies (still quite common in India), couples live with the parents or at least very close by. During time of need, a couple can count on their parent’s or in-law’s help for physical, emotional and financial support. Parents are also there to babysit and take care of their grandchildren while both spouses are at work.

If there are positive aspects of arranged marriages, some negative aspects also exist.

If you had families involved in the wedding and the extended families are there for you when you need them; they are also there for you when you don't. Family members would want to know everything about your married life. These unwanted external interferences tend to meddle in marriages, especially in matters of finance, having children and meeting family obligations. When the in-laws interfere and impose their views, it causes tension between the couple.

Unfortunately, women tend to stay in abusive relationships because they feel obligated and feel they need to maintain their parent's pride and respect within society. This can be dangerous for everyone involved. With education and independence for the women; they are learning to fight for their rights and freedom.

Whether you have a love marriage or an arranged marriage; in the long run it does not matter. Every girl wants a beautiful wedding, what every woman wants is a beautiful marriage. Meeting your life partner is becoming harder so finding one either on your own or by help is a very small matter. It is finding a partner that suits you best for life that matters the most.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)