Art of sustaining friendship
Friendship is a trait inbuilt in human behaviour. We all are gregarious by nature and yearn to enjoy the company of friends. It is the friendship that we are able to share our thoughts with each other and also think to help or get help in adverse phases in our lives. There is no treasure that can be compared with a good friend. We can cherish the friendship more effectively and more constructively if we are able to sustain it for a long time. Do you have experience of meeting your old friends after a long gap? Did you feel happy and excited? That is the great gift of good friendship.
Have you got friends?
How many good or close friends you have?
How friendship begins
Whether it is our student life or at our workplace, we sort out some of the people as prospective friends who appear to us as like minded and good natured. Each of us is having a distinguishable character and accordingly our selection of friends would vary. It is very difficult to characterise all those traits or elements which are common between two people for making a healthy friendship but it so happens that sometimes due to matching of a few factors the seed of friendship gets sown between them. Most of these friendships are effortlessly born like that only.
Sometimes people take initiative and invite the other person for friendship. In such cases it would solely depend upon other person whether he or she accepts such an invitation based on the perception about the requisitioner.
“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”
– Walter Winchell
Friendship goes ahead
Once a friendship is started there is an initial period of testing in which both the persons will assess each other. This is the period during which both of them know as what are the expectation of other from this friendship. This is the period during which many friendships break and end miserably. Once this initial period is over then only friendship can look ahead with renewed vigour. This testing period or incubation period is generally of the order of a few months though such hard and fast rules can not be applied to individual cases.
Once friendship is established then next usual task is to keep it alive and vibrant so that both the parties can enjoy it. Friends would never like to fight and part away from each other but sometimes in our lives some situations arise due to which sweet bonds of friendship are broken. Are there any ways to protect the friendship from routine clashes and sustain it for a long time. There are no fool proof methods to do so but there are some precautions and measures that might help us to attain that goal.
Do not expectMany people start expecting as soon as friendship is created. This is too much as another person would be neither willing nor prepared for it. Expectations are sometimes the main reasons for a rift in the friendship.
Refrain from backbitingThere is no place of backbiting in this relationship. That would irritate and annoy the friend. He might go for revenge. Things would fall apart.
Do not challenge him in publicFriendship is a sweet relationship. Do not spoil it by challenging or humiliating your friend in open. It will damage the relations soon.
Do not have a common loverThere are many instances where two friends loving the same person have got conflict of interest. It would adversely affect the friendship.
Help him when he or she is in needIf he or she is in need help him before he or she seeks it.
Mix with his family and friendsThis is one important aspect and once a person mixes well with the friends and family of the friend then the bonds become stronger.
Forgive him for small misdeedsFriends can sometimes commit some mistakes or commit some misdeeds of minor nature. Forgive them. To err is human to forgive is divine.
Do not be a financial burden on himNever ever be a financial burden on your friend. He would not like it and in the aftermath friendship would be harmed.
“True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.”
– David Tyson
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Friendship is a great thing in our life and good friends are a joy for ever. Making friends is an easy task but maintaining good relations and sustaining it definitely requires a lot of pondering, prudence and perfection. We should remember that good friends are a treasure for ever.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2020 Umesh Chandra Bhatt