Art of sustaining friendship
Introduction
Friendship is a trait inbuilt in human behaviour. We all are gregarious by nature and yearn to enjoy the company of friends. It is the friendship that we are able to share our thoughts with each other and also think to help or get help in adverse phases in our lives. There is no treasure that can be compared with a good friend. We can cherish the friendship more effectively and more constructively if we are able to sustain it for a long time. Do you have experience of meeting your old friends after a long gap? Did you feel happy and excited? That is the great gift of good friendship.
Have you got friends?
How many good or close friends you have?
How friendship begins
Whether it is our student life or at our workplace, we sort out some of the people as prospective friends who appear to us as like minded and good natured. Each of us is having a distinguishable character and accordingly our selection of friends would vary. It is very difficult to characterise all those traits or elements which are common between two people for making a healthy friendship but it so happens that sometimes due to matching of a few factors the seed of friendship gets sown between them. Most of these friendships are effortlessly born like that only.
Sometimes people take initiative and invite the other person for friendship. In such cases it would solely depend upon other person whether he or she accepts such an invitation based on the perception about the requisitioner.
Real Friend
“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”
– Walter Winchell
Friendship goes ahead
Once a friendship is started there is an initial period of testing in which both the persons will assess each other. This is the period during which both of them know as what are the expectation of other from this friendship. This is the period during which many friendships break and end miserably. Once this initial period is over then only friendship can look ahead with renewed vigour. This testing period or incubation period is generally of the order of a few months though such hard and fast rules can not be applied to individual cases.
Sustaining friendship
Once friendship is established then next usual task is to keep it alive and vibrant so that both the parties can enjoy it. Friends would never like to fight and part away from each other but sometimes in our lives some situations arise due to which sweet bonds of friendship are broken. Are there any ways to protect the friendship from routine clashes and sustain it for a long time. There are no fool proof methods to do so but there are some precautions and measures that might help us to attain that goal.
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Do not expect
Many people start expecting as soon as friendship is created. This is too much as another person would be neither willing nor prepared for it. Expectations are sometimes the main reasons for a rift in the friendship. -
Refrain from backbiting
There is no place of backbiting in this relationship. That would irritate and annoy the friend. He might go for revenge. Things would fall apart. -
Do not challenge him in public
Friendship is a sweet relationship. Do not spoil it by challenging or humiliating your friend in open. It will damage the relations soon. -
Do not have a common lover
There are many instances where two friends loving the same person have got conflict of interest. It would adversely affect the friendship. -
Help him when he or she is in need
If he or she is in need help him before he or she seeks it. -
Mix with his family and friends
This is one important aspect and once a person mixes well with the friends and family of the friend then the bonds become stronger. -
Forgive him for small misdeeds
Friends can sometimes commit some mistakes or commit some misdeeds of minor nature. Forgive them. To err is human to forgive is divine. -
Do not be a financial burden on him
Never ever be a financial burden on your friend. He would not like it and in the aftermath friendship would be harmed.
True Friendship
“True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.”
– David Tyson
Give your verdict
Do you find this article helpful ?
Conclusion
Friendship is a great thing in our life and good friends are a joy for ever. Making friends is an easy task but maintaining good relations and sustaining it definitely requires a lot of pondering, prudence and perfection. We should remember that good friends are a treasure for ever.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2020 Umesh Chandra Bhatt
Comments
AUTHORRenu, well said.
Bahut sari bhuli bisari batein yad aa gayin. Dhanyawad.
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Sangita, thanks for your nice comment.
This is sound analysis. Type and strength of Friendship also depends on your stage in life - college friends are very different from friends you make because of your children say. Each type has its own buzz.
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Anand, thanks for your feelings and highly appreciate.
It was nice to go through very useful article on different facets of continuing friendship. I was fortunate to have no. of close friends of school era, working colleague and neighbours we stayed with. I am enjoying sustained friendship of more than 50 years, 40 years, 30 years. This has helped me a lot at various facets of life. I really thank my friends who have already risen to the occasion whenever need was there. Surely I do care to respond and respect the situations of my friends. You are one my good friend of more than 40 years of association. I learnt a lot in your company. Thanks to be my friend. Wishing you all the very best in your life and your contribution to the society through the wonderful articles you are penning down.
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Peggy, thanks and wish you many more years of marital bliss. Highly appreciate your visit.
Close and long friendships are a blessing. At my husband's and my age, we are losing many of our close friends when they die. I kidded my husband and said we need to get younger friends! Ha! We have each other which is now 50 years and counting.
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Flourish, great thoughts, if you feel so. I wish you a long and blessed family life with your hubby. All the best and thanks for sparing your time.
My best friend is my husband. Even if I weren’t married to him I’d still like to think we’d be good friends. I’ve always had good male friends.
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Bill, so sad with that. You are missing a great companion. 57 years shows itself how strong the bond was.
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My best friend, a friend for fifty-seven years, just died recently. I have no idea how we sustained that friendship for so long, but I am grateful that we did.
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Shaloo, thanks for your comment. Appreciate.
Great advice. It's easy to make friends but difficult to sustain them.
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Travel Chef, thanks for visiting. Appreciate your comment. Be in touch.
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Dora, thanks for your encouraging comment. Appreciate.
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RoadMonkey, agree with your observation. Thanks for visiting.
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Kyler, different people have different levels of friendship and corresponding relationships. Appreciate your detailed comments. Thanks.
When we were young, having too many friends is a big deal. As we grow older, our point of view about friendship changes. No matter how few our friends are, as long as they're all real.
Good counsel on the importance of friendship, on forming and sustaining it. Thank you.
Yes, I have found from long experience that it is better to start out a friendship slowly, rather than rush things. It's the same with volunteering, don't rush to do all the necessary jobs, it won't make you any more friends or better friends. Make haste slowly.
A very interesting read. I don't often get to relate to people, and have barely a handful of people in my daily life who will interact with me, so in reading this I get to understand how others view friendship and how they maintain it. Very different from my experiences.
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Raymond, thanks for visiting and appreciate your comment.
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Good friendships are indeed important. As you write, it is not always easy to build and maintain good friendships. But if you have good friends they may even extend your life expectancy.
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Ruth, very true, a good friend is a precious thing. Thanks for your visit.
I don't have any friends as opposed to people I know and keep in touch with. But a true friend is a rare gem.
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Liz, yes it is very precious and can not be compared with anything else. Thanks.
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DreamerMeg, very true and I heartily appreciate your visit.
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Tery, nice to hear from you. Appreciate
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Prantika, thanks for your details comments and value of friendship that you have depicted. Thanks for complementing much to the article.
Friendships are very valuable.
Yes, good friends are a treasure and you should certainly never burden friendship with too onerous demands.
Great advice! Becoming friends can be easier, but maintaining a friendship takes effort. You have given excellent advice on sustaining a healthy friendship.
Friends are important for me and I share deep bonding with some of my close friends. We have been friends since school or college days. I met some of them at workplace and the bond has deepened with each passing year. The beauty of friendship is that I can share my sorrows and happiness with them without being judged. We are currently residing in different parts of the world but we make an effort to connect and spend some quality time together once a year. Hanging out with close friends is the vitamin for my soul. Thank you for sharing such an excellent article.
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Eric, I agree family is our first friend. Thanks for your nice words.
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Lorna, thanks a lot for your detailed comment illustrating the value of friendship. Appreciate much.
Very good. Insightful.
My best friends are family. Or maybe my family is made up of best friends. I like your concept of "art".
An excellent article Umesh sharing the importance of friendship throughout our lives. I still maintain friendships from my childhood and even though we are in different parts of the world, we still make the effort to connect. I believe that keeping our friendships in constant repair is the key to maintaining bonds which are so necessary in our lives. An enjoyable and enlightening read.
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