Art of sustaining friendship
Friendship is a trait inbuilt in human nature. We all are gregarious by nature and yearn to enjoy the company of others. It is the company where we can share our thoughts and also think to help or get help in adverse phases in our lives. No treasure can be compared with good company and friendship with other people. We can cherish the friendship more effectively and more constructively if we can sustain it for a long time. Do you have experience of meeting your old friends after a long gap? Did you feel happy and excited? If yes then that is the great gift of good friendship.
Have you got friends?
How many good or close friends you have?
How friendship begins
Whether it is in our student life or at our workplace, we sort out some of the people as prospective friends who appear to us as like-minded and good-natured as per our assessment. Each of us is having a distinguishable character and accordingly, our selection of friends would vary. It is very difficult to characterize all those traits or elements which are common between two people for making a healthy friendship but it so happens that sometimes due to the matching of a few factors the seed of friendship gets sown between them. Most of these friendships are effortlessly born like that only.
Sometimes people take the initiative and invite the other person for friendship. In such cases, it would solely depend upon the other person whether he or she accepts such an invitation based on the perception about the requisitioner.
Friendship can be formed spontaneously also when some people fall under the same adverse circumstances and situation and help each other to come out of that and seed of friendship is produced between them.
“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”
– Walter Winchell
Friendship goes ahead
Once a friendship is started there is an initial period of testing in which both the persons will assess each other. This is the period during which both of them know what are the expectations of others from this friendship. This is the period during which many friendships break and end miserably. Once this initial period is over then only friendship can look ahead with renewed vigour. This testing period or incubation period is generally of the order of a few months though such hard and fast rules can not be applied to individual cases.
In many cases, friendship is formed and then the bond gets more and more strengthened with time. It then becomes a matter of continued happiness and enjoyment. Many of us look for that type of friendship.
Once friendship is established the next usual task is to keep it alive and vibrant so that both parties can enjoy it. Friends would never like to fight and part away from each other but sometimes in our lives, some situations arise due to which sweet bonds of friendship are broken. Are there any ways to protect the friendship from routine clashes and sustain it for a long time? There are no foolproof methods to do so but there are some precautions and measures that might help us to attain that goal.
Do not expectMany people start expecting as soon as friendship is created. This is too much as another person would be neither willing nor prepared for it. Expectations are sometimes the main reasons for a rift in the friendship. Friendship is not about expectations it is all about having a good time together. Those who achieve that are true friends.
Refrain from backbitingThere is no place for backbiting in this relationship. That would irritate and annoy the friend. He might go for revenge. Things would fall apart. We must avoid this evil from the mutual friendship arena.
Do not challenge him or her in publicFriendship is a sweet relationship. Do not spoil it by challenging or humiliating your friend in the open. It will damage the relations soon. If it is something necessary to challenge then why not do it alone when no third person is there?
Do not have a common loverThere are many instances where two friends loving the same person have got a conflict of interest. It would adversely affect the friendship. This will require a lot of understanding of the matter of others' love relationships.
Help him when he or she is in needIf he or she is in need help him before he or she seeks it. Helping is not necessarily the monetary one, it could be even a few words of consoling and motivation. The friend should feel that someone is there at the side of him to help in the adverse situation.
Mix with his family and friendsThis is one important aspect and once a person mixes well with the friends and family of the friend then the bonds become stronger. It leads to a group of friends and makes room for more entertainment.
Forgive him for small misdeedsFriends can sometimes commit some mistakes or commit misdeeds of minor nature. Forgive them. To err is human to forgive is divine. There is no substitute for forgiving.
Do not be a financial burden on himNever be a financial burden on your friend. He would not like it and in the aftermath, friendship would be harmed. Friendship is not for making money it is just to enjoy the company and that's all.
“True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.”
– David Tyson
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Friendship is a great thing in our life and good friends are a joy forever. Making friends is an easy task but maintaining good relations and sustaining it requires a lot of pondering, prudence, and perfection. We should remember that good friends are a treasure forever.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2020 Umesh Chandra Bhatt