- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
Avoid the top 7 mistakes made by the domestic goddess
I do not make mistakes, I am the complete epitome of domestic goddess perfection; I object to the premises, I as a domestic goddess makes mistakes. Just wait until you get a piece of my mind. Before you write me an angry email, wasting some of your precious time, read this piece of my mind so you can get your points straight in your email!
1: Letting the family believe you are a superhero or magician:
This is a mistake because it gives the idea in order to achieve all these tasks it takes a very special person – which of course you are – these tasks you manage to achieve in a day are phenomenal, there is no denying. However it’s not like other people can’t do them, or help out with some.
There are so many reasons as to why:
- A superhero is a limited edition, with powers, gadgets and secret identities; You’d relate to this as you pick up the clutter from the floor with other residents of the house in the room and they have no idea you were there. Particularly if there is a distraction like the TV, Video Game, Computer or Phone. “What’s that stick thing with the red bristles?” “It’s the duster dear” “ “Duster, wow how does that work?” Said no one ever. The more likely response, “Ah your cleaning gadgets.”
- Magicians make things look easy but in a way tricky, if you have ever tried to clumsily recreate the trick you can appreciate their dexterity, it’s the same with the others in your house, and yes to begin with your helpers will be clumsy, and smeary. However stating it, damages your ability to get repeat business. Things to try instead, “How did you go?” “I didn't do as good as you do.” “Do you want to know my secret?” and share with them those little bits and bobs you have learnt along the way.
Also the superhero or magician gets all the credit,nobody wants to be the side kick? Do you know who Houdini's assistant was?
2: Believing others can mind read or more commonly known as not sharing your to-do-list:
The domestic goddess as a general rule knows those who live with her well enough to be able to anticipate needs and sees things others don't, generally things which require cleaning. Others do sometimes mistake this for mind reading.
You have a to-do-list, live by the to-do-list, or a schedule, in order to ensure everything is achieved, bought and cleaned. Sometimes you write this down other times it’s a constant list in your head. Let’s be honest, you know nobody can read your mind, because some of those thoughts that flit and flutter about would cause the other residents of you house to cry, yell at your or return you some unpleasant thoughts.
But I told them what to do. Yes you did tell them, while they were eating, completing homework, watching TV, etc. In order to have effective communication, pick a time possibly after dinner, to have no distractions and explain what you hope to achieve and what is required to be done. If possible, have them write a list to take ownership of the tasks.
3: Wishing you could trade places with another domestic goddess:
The old grass is greener in another pasture - seriously you're not a cow. Believing the other domestic goddess' kids must behave better, their partner is be more supportive, and their house is easier to clean than mine, they make more money so can afford better cleaning products, they have a more reliable car and don't waste hours on the side of the road waiting for assistance, it must be so easy to be a different domestic goddess.
Wow what a way to build up some good old resentment and sap some of the energy you need for all the balls you juggle.
Honestly, you have no idea the mountains any one climbs each day, to create what you see for the time you are privy to it, and to be honest you don’t need too.
Instead be thankful for your situation, family, partner and friends, for these are the things which happy memories of made of.
4: Neglecting the goddess in you
You’re not only a domestic goddess; you are a goddess. This has nothing to do with the house work, employment, children, partner, commitments and social status.
While these things are great and add to a happy life, these things will become points of varying degrees of resentment if you neglect yourself. Self-care, it’s a concept which has been around for a long time now. However seems to be so hard to put in to action, because everybody needs me right now! It won’t take long to help out; I can put off my hair dressing appointment, the split ends haven’t’ quite reached my skull; I am sure I can still put it my hair up in a bun without them being too obvious. While I applaud your resourcefulness, and am nominating you for Sainthood and a purple heart for the self sacrifice. Stop!
If you are unable to do you duties, because you are a twitching, nervous, wreck in the corner curled up in the fetal position, how will all these marvelous things you do be achieved? Hey nobody ever landed up in the above state from neglecting their split ends! So you say.
This is not the point, you need some time to recharge your batteries, particularly if you notice you are becoming short tempered, ungrateful, wishing you had a different life or have some passion you wish to pursue, of the hobby variety these things enrich you so are you are a better domestic goddess.
5. Role Modelling
Role modeling is an accepted teaching method, however if you family doesn’t have an interest in that part of your Role, the modeling really doesn’t work, and starts just being “domestic goddess’ role”. If you want to teach them to clean, tell them how, tell them why, you know without making them Mysophobic, the technical term for germaphobic, you want them to leave your house at some point right?
Other methods of teaching will need to be enacted, such a “chores” or you could rename it. This teaching method chores, is giving the resident of the house an area of responsibility, who knows it could be what helps them lead a multi-national company one day.
6. Is the price of tidy house bribes, fights, ransom and tension?
You have tried ransoming access to the internet; this just resulted in massive fights. You tried restricting the TV to just showing the weather channel, however you found out they will watch this just as avidly as any other show on the idiot box. Which you pointed out shouting at them they are idiots, and can’t they see how hard you work? You tried bribery, however ended up eating all the bribes and putting on 2 stone or 12 kilograms. As the bribes were not taken up.
You went on strike this lasted all of 8pm when you gave and cried yourself to sleep, until 4am when you were wide awake and found that a hurricane had gone through house, or at least that is what you told yourself as you cleaned it up and made the lunches.
7. Dressing up like a maid or housekeeper.
At the wits’ end you have tried explaining to the family, you have tried to have to time yourself and not succeeded in months, you haven’t seen any adults apart from your partner in months, you’re constantly picking up after everyone including some of your things, which you couldn't have possibly left out?
Having tried everything and failed you feel the need to dramatize to the family you are just the Maid.
Rethink this one, “Two and Half Men” has a housekeeper, Bertha and she is a great addition to the comedy, however in the earlier season she would have the coffee on before Charlie got up and the Newspaper on the table. Do you really want to set their expectations that high? Also she gets to leave, she is not on beck and call all day.
If the above reason wasn't enough to stop you in your tracks, despite the outfit you wear and even if it is more nun-like than maid-like, or something you are calling a maid outfit… This is a fantasy area for some partners, and instead of explaining how you are feeling effectively will be lost in the fantasy of what a maid represents.
Lastly this is not your role, you are the domestic goddess, completely different to a maid or house keeper.