ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Barack Obama Reveals Three Questions to Ask Before Selecting a Mate

Updated on April 29, 2019
revmjm profile image

Margaret Minnicks has been an online writer for many years. She researches and shares remedies for using certain products for illnesses.

Barack and Michelle Obama have been married for 25 years. That is not a long time when compared to other couples who have been married much longer. On the other hand, it is a long time compared to some of the shorter marriages we have heard about. Being married for a quarter of a century is long enough to determine what works and what doesn't work in a marriage.

While the 44th President of the United States is not a marriage counselor, many of his workers looked at his and Michelle's marriage as one to be admired.

Marriage of Barack and Michelle Obama

Most people don't know that Michelle was not Barack's first choice to be his wife. Before meeting Michelle, Barack lived with anthropologist Sheila Miyoshi Jager while he was a community organizer in Chicago in the 1980s.

He wanted to marry her. In fact, he proposed to her twice. Jagger turned him down twice. Her parents were against their relationship.

Obama met Michelle Robinson in June 1989 when he was employed as a summer associate at the Chicago law firm of Sidley Austin LLP where Michelle worked. She was his adviser during his first three months at the company. She refused to date him, but she did join him at several group social functions. At the time she was 25, and he was 28.

Two years after meeting, Barack won Michelle over and they began dating. Their courtship wasn't long because they became engaged in 1991, the same year they began dating. They also had a short engagement because they got married the next year on October 3, 1992.

Obama's Conversations with Dan Pfeiffer

Dan Pfeiffer was Obama's traveling secretary during his campaign and later he was the White House director of communications from 2009 to 2013 and senior adviser until 2015.

The 42-year-old looked up to his boss and had many conversations with him. Their talk was not always about politics. Pfeiffer was about to get married for the second time; therefore, the commander-in-chief gave him some marital advice.

Pfeiffer writes about those conversations in his new book, Yes We (Still) Can that was released on June 18, 2018. The title is based on Obama's campaign slogan.

Former President Barack Obama gave three questions Pfeiffer and everybody else should ask before selecting a mate.

Three Questions

The first question:

"Is your mate someone you find interesting?

According to Obama, you will spend more time with this person than anyone else for the rest of your life, and there is nothing more important than always wanting to hear what your potential mate has to say about things.

The second question:

"Does your potential mate make you laugh?

Both Barack and Michelle have agreed that it helps that the family doesn't take themselves too seriously. They confirmed that Michelle is funnier, and Barack tells more bad jokes.

The third question:

"Do you think your potential mate will be a good parent?”

Pfeiffer was able to answer "Yes" to all those questions. Obama attended Dan's wedding in 2016 when he married Howli Ledbetter, the former director of message planning in the White House. That was only one of four weddings the former president attended of couples he had met and counseled while working for him.

People on social media said Obama gave sound advice that was better than what some marriage counselors provide.

Pfeiffer valued Obama's advice because he had been married before, but the marriage ended in a divorce. On July 16, 2006, he married Sarah Elizabeth Feinberg, a senior advisor and spokeswoman for Mayor of Chicago, Rahm Emanuel. The couple divorced in 2011.

Obamas' Strong Marriage

After 25 years of marriage, the Obamas have been open about their strong bond and solid relationship.

Last May, Michelle shared a throwback photo from their October 1992 wedding. She confirmed the pair are still having fun. She wrote. “I can’t imagine going on this wild ride with anybody else.

Earlier she told a magazine that their marriage has been "a true partnership, and you have to really, really like and respect the person you're married to because it is a hard road."


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)