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Becareful what you are spying for!

Updated on September 4, 2012


Is it worth the time and effort?

Sometimes I don’t understand why some are determined to find out whether or not their mates are cheating and/or lying, especially the persons who knew exactly the way their mates were before they got together because they were best friends at first for example! Is it really worth the time and effort?

Today it is so simple to find out whether or not our mates are deceiving! People don’t even have to pay a lot of money for private investigators or spy equipment to do it themselves. Now and days there’s reality shows like Cheaters, technology (software) that can track what someone does on their computers, and free apps to download on someone’s cell phone that can track their exact location.

As I was browsing through Hubs I came across a forum that asked, “With today’s new technology that enable parents to know what their kids are doing on their phones and computers and even track them down (basically spy on their kids) would you consider that to be good parenting”? As I was reading the comments to this forum post, one person stated in her comment that, “unfortunately the kids weren't the ones who got caught doing anything wrong but her now ex-husband did”. Well, this reminded me of some of the people I know who are insecure!

I remember when some of these people would stress out on trying to find out where their significant others were at and who they were with and so on. I admit that a few of them did have good instincts and were right but, when the truth came out it made no difference they still stood with them. If anything it made their relationship worse because there was now evidence and by them staying with the deceitful ones was like, saying “It’s okay if you lied to me or cheated because I am still with you and if you do it again it wouldn't matter because I’ll probably still be with you”! If that didn't happen then there was even more chaos going on because of a comment made. For example, “I wonder what or who you did today because it sure wasn't me or who are texting blah, blah, and blah"! Rarely did the people in the relationship who were being mislead or deceived say, “That’s it I’m out of here or to the left, to the left all your stuff is there not get the @!#$ out of here”! Even more so it didn't end there with, you cheated on me now what and the one cheating saying sorry and never actually do it again. So I ask this was it even worth the time and effort, for those who didn't end it or put a stop to it?

Overall wouldn’t it be wiser to just know it and not say anything about it if an individual is going to end up staying with that person. Shouldn’t you just enjoy the time you are with them literally instead of agonizing over something that’s not going change or end; until or unless you are really going to end it with the liar and cheater. Actually it would be wise to not even be with someone you don’t trust or believe but some can only learn from life lessons (mistakes).

Note: I have to admit that I too, was in this situation before and it isn’t healthy at all and this is why I had to create a Hub about it!

now what?


Would you end the relationship if you had proof that you were being mislead?

See results

Accusing and unhappy


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    • BugGop MSlt profile image

      BugGop MSlt 5 years ago from hi



    • JeniferD profile image

      JeniferD 5 years ago from Sin City Nevada

      sassydee, I can speak from experience that if one remains in a relationship with an unfaithful mate, that speaks volumes about your self-worth. I've ditched more boyfriends for being unfaithful than I care to remember, and what's worse is that some of them came looking for me ten, twenty years after the break-up hoping to get back with me (after a few failed marriages and several children). Know what you're worth, and remember it next time your man cheats on you. You're better than that, and entitled to know these things, your physical/sexual health may depend on that information. ;-)

    • sassydee profile image

      Delilah 5 years ago from los angeles, ca

      thank you alastar

    • Alastar Packer profile image

      Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

      Sassydee I like this hub and the way you've done it. Congrats on your high score too, that says a good deal especially for the amount of time you've been a HubPages member. Quite interesting story here and your philosophy is spot on in my opinion. I'll just say that if a person has to spy on their partner regardless of whats really going on somethings terribly wrong with the relationship to start with.

    • sassydee profile image

      Delilah 5 years ago from los angeles, ca

      i agree too

    • sassydee profile image

      Delilah 5 years ago from los angeles, ca

      yes and hopefully the lazy people become stong if or when they experience somehthing like this

    • aisha91 profile image

      Rasna Aisha 5 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      I agree with express 10, relationship suppose to be make someone secure, happy and whole and not the opposites.

    • Express10 profile image

      H C Palting 5 years ago from East Coast

      Interesting hub. Considering the fact that many people will either cheat or be cheated on at some point in their life, we can see how spying on others has become big business. I think spying is the lazy person's way. Talking about it, making your expectations known is the strong person's way of dealing with cheating. I have always believed that if you don't or can't trust them, you don't need to be in a relationship with them.