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Becoming a Proverbs 31 Wife

Updated on October 15, 2016

Strength, dignity, wisdom, kindness, and the fear of the Lord.

Becoming a Wife of Noble Character

v.10

“An excellent wife who can find?

She is far more precious than jewels.”

The goal is to excel at being a wife. It is uncommon that a wife succeeds at standing out far and above the average wife. A woman who can excel in such a way is far more valuable than treasure. Beautiful treasure. This is a worthy goal to strive for. Worth investing time, energy, skill, and money even to accomplish becoming this type of a wife and woman. We should pay attention to this advice.

v. 11

“The heart of her husband trusts in her,

and he will have no lack of gain.”

This wife has her husband’s trust and confidence. He knows that he can rely on her to be good to him, loyal, worthy of his trust. How can she do this? Trust is built over time as she consistently pleases him in her undertakings. The fruit of her labor brings her husband good things as a result. He will have no lack of gain because she is working to progress as a wife, to increase their income, their comfort, their happiness. She brings him happiness in abundance. I don’t think this happens by chance. I think it is a direct outcome of the skill, the work, the wisdom she possesses that she uses to grow the family’s worth and happiness.

V12

“She does him good, and not harm,

all the days of her life.”

To bring her husband good she must bring good things to the table. She must meet his needs, not because she has to, but because she loves him and it pleases him. She shows kindness, patience, love, support, and encouragement. She helps him by caring for the children, the chores around the house, fixing hearty meals that will keep him healthy and strong. She keeps the house clean so it is a welcoming place to him. She does not harm him by using hurtful words or actions, by showing selfishness, complaining, being disrespectful, rude, or unkind. She does not ever give up this pursuit. Every day is a new chance to change for the better and to continue to be a source of worth.

V13

“She seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands.”

Wool and flax would have been the materials used to create clothing and linens. Either to clothe the family and cozy up the home, or to sell for profit. She seeks out the supplies necessary to use her skills to benefit her husband. Either learning to sew could be a very good thing. More generally, finding clever ways to draw in extra income, or to seek out opportunities to invest your talents in the community for the benefit of others. She finds work, purpose, a chance to invest herself in others, and she does it happily. Either way, she is working and working willingly, not sitting idly around or merely playing with the children, the computer, or squandering her time so she has nothing to show for it.

V14

“She is like the ships of the merchant;

she brings her food from afar.”

A ship belonging to a merchant would cause those waiting for it to look toward it with anticipation of all the good things it carries. Its presence is a source of excitement, of hope, of beauty. In striving to excel, she doesn’t content herself with only what is easy, close by, or normal. Rather, she strives to find better options for food, better things to cook for her family. She does research to find what items are worth spending money on to better their life. If she finds something good, she will save up, travel far, or work hard to get the most worthwhile goods. She leaves the house to work, not hiding inside in her sweatpants. She goes out to prove she is capable of the responsibility of bringing back what is good.

V15

“She rises while it is yet night

and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. ”

She does not sleep in, is not lax in beginning her day. She starts early, so as to make the most of it. She sets an example of greeting the new day. She provides edible nutrition for her family. She makes money, she makes a meal plan, a grocery list, she goes shopping, finds or creates recipes, and has good food ready for her family to eat. She knows it is important to fuel the body so it can make the most of each day. She considers what is healthy, what is affordable, what everyone will be able to eat. She finds a way to have it ready. She makes sure the family and those working in the family are fed. She is motherly in this way. Caring. Thoughtful. Unselfish.

V16

“She considers a field and buys it;

with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.”

She has a brain and she uses it. Just because you are a stay at home mom, or a housewife, with or without a degree, does not mean it is a squandering of your good brain cells. Consider, reflect, research, discuss the value of an effort to bring in money. Do research and make a purchase if it is wise. She works with her hands, her resources, her decisions, her money to invest, to create, to grow, to add to the family’s value. She chooses wisely: something that will directly provide a good for the family, and goods to others for added income.

V17

“ She dresses herself with strength

and makes her arms strong.”

She does not wear impractical shoes that will impede her strength. The clothes are not important, it is the strength she puts on that is important and of value. Strength to persist, to excel, to care for the family, work her craft, performs many roles. She works to become stronger. She doesn’t whine that something is too hard, but forces herself to push through and grow.

She becomes strong enough to manage it all.

V18

“She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.

Her lamp does not go out at night.”

She ensures that whatever she does is of fine quality, valuable, and worth the required initial investment. She works hard and she works diligently. If necessary, she works beyond dusk and into the night.

V19

“She puts her hands to the distaff,

and her hands hold the spindle.”

She is working again, making herself useful. Making sure her home is warm and pleasant, her children and husband are clothed well, and others are able to buy these useful and beautiful things from her. She works with her hands. She makes sure the quality is good, and her body is capable.

V20

“She opens her hand to the poor

and reaches out her hands to the needy.”

When someone in need asks for something, she gives them what she can. She is compassionate, generous, and prepared to have something to give. She is helpful, kind, providing for those in society that may need some help. Not only does she give when asked, she also seeks out the needy to offer aid. She is looking for opportunities to give and to provide, first for her home, then for others outside her home. She ensures that there is extra for them. She anticipates that there must be. She does her part to invest in her community and to minimize the needs of those she can reach out to.

V21

“She is not afraid of snow for her household,

for all her household are clothed in scarlet.”

Foresight is essential to being prepared for the future. She looks ahead to remedy upcoming challenges. She makes sure that warm clothes are made and ready at the proper time. She prepares for each season and makes sure there needs will be met. This allows her to be unafraid, lacking the stress of being caught off guard.

V22

“She makes bed coverings for herself;

her clothing is fine linen and purple.”

Not only does she provide for their needs, she also provides for their wants. She finds the means, and works to create pieces of luxury that make her house a home. She invests her sweat, her effort, time, to create furnishings for the home that come from her heart. She does not settle for cheap fabrics that will not hold up well, rather she waits, if necessary to save up for the finer fabrics that will last longer, look nicer, and give honor to those that wear them. She cares for herself as well as others.

V23

“Her husband is known in the gates

when he sits among the elders of the land.”

She realizes and respects her husband’s importance. She is aware that who she is, how she behaves, is a reflection on him. She tries to uphold his reputation by being worthy of a respectable man.

V24

“She makes linen garments and sells them;

she delivers sashes to the merchant.”

She creates her own goods using skills she has been taught. She sells them to bring in her own money for the household, she makes, sells, and delivers them where they need to go. Her work is fine enough to be bought to be sold in places further than her own community.

V25

“Strength and dignity are her clothing,

and she laughs at the time to come.”

Although the clothes she makes and wears are fine, it is not what makes an impact when she is present. Rather, it is the strength of character and the dignity with which she holds herself that cause her to stand out. She is strong, she endures, she carries on diligently. She is dignified, responsible, aware of her responsibilities. She is unafraid and unstressed about the future for she knows she has prepared fully.

V26

“She opens her mouth with wisdom,

and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”

She has become wise, and so passes on wisdom that she has learned, been taught, and understands to those she speaks with. She teaches, advices, councils, and demonstrates kindness. She is not sharp or reprimanding, but patient, careful wither words, and caring about how they are given.

V27

“She looks well to the ways of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

She considers the needs of her family, the care needed of her home, the health and responsibilities of her family. She is not a busybody, but neither does she sit lazily around. She sees what needs to be done and does it. She maximizes the use of her time for accomplishing that which is most important.

V28

“Her children rise up and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praises her:”

Her children see the good qualities in her, the wisdom that she is teaching to them, the strength and skill she demonstrates. They see she has become valuable with her work. They value her for her presence, her kindness. Her husband notices the good she does. He sees how hard she works, the order of their home, the responsibilities she organizes. He sees that she is worthy of praise. He admires her for her contributions, her abilities, her giving nature.

V29

“Many women have done excellently,

but you surpass them all.”

He sees that she is incomparable. Her hard work has resulted in her becoming an excellent wife. She has fulfilled all that has been asked or wanted of her. She sees what is most important and sets aside the vain and idle social media outlets, novels, and procrastination. He sees that she has done well. Not once, but so consistently that he can’t help but notice that it is in her character to make her family most important.

V30

“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,

but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

Seeking to be charming, colorful, witty, dramatic, attention-grabbing, coy are all meaningless. There is no lasting value to them but only selfish gain. Beauty likewise is fruitless. Striving to give your valuable time, money, effort considering what to wear, how to dress, makeup, hair, nails, shoes, and glamour shots are fruitless ways to spend your moments. None of them matter and all are regarded as useless if your character is not seeking to be excellent, trustworthy, hard-working, dignified. Fear of the Lord will put priorities in order. Seeking to please the Lord who sees your heart will result in attaining wisdom and wise living.

V31

“Give her of the fruit of her hands,

and let her works praise her in the gates.”

Whatever you strive after, give your time to, you will become good at and known for. Do not choose something with no lasting value such as winning a video game or attaining popularity on Instagram. Create fruit that will energize, nourish, and grow you at your skills. Invest in activities that will pay you back for what you put into them. Work well so that when you are not around, people will see the time and care you have put into your craft. Then you will excel.

What is the bottom line, then? How does one practice becoming a wife of noble character who excels above all other women in a time when such a wife is rare?

  1. Create a goal to excel at being a wife. Be willing to give your time, energy, money to meet this goal. It is your priority. Make yourself worthy of being trusted, deemed loyal, and selfless in being a helper to your husband.
  2. Be a presence that brings good. Seek ways to ease your husband’s burden by aiding in income, taking on responsibilities that will ease his cares and stress. Treat him with kindness, patience, care, love.


  1. Find opportunities to use your talents to bring in extra money and to supply your household with what they need. Improve yourself. Invest in the community. Work hard.


  1. Research the most worthwhile food, fabrics, clothing to up your quality of living, health, enjoyment.


  1. Get up early and prioritize your time to accomplish most in your day.


  1. Do not concern yourself with vanities, but strengthen yourself to do the work that has been provided for you to do.


  1. Do good work and do so diligently.


  1. Budget money or products to give to the poor. Seek out opportunities to give.


  1. Prepare for the future. Plan ahead. Make necessary preparations.


10. Do not neglect to take care of yourself as well as others: your health, your body, your mind, spiritual disciplines, eating well, exercise.


11. Be a worthy representative of your husband and your household.


12. Get out of the house and seek opportunities to invest and gain income.


13. Be strong to do your tasks. Dignified in your transactions. Wise in your choices, and demonstrating kindness always.


14. Do not waste the valuable time you have been given. To not strive after looking beautiful or appearing charming. Live in fear of the Lord. Pour your life into that which will give back a beneficial dividend. Let the legacy you leave behind you wherever you go be the voice that speaks of you excellence, strength, dignity, kindness, wisdom, diligence, and endurance.

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