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Being Gay In Todays Society Denial

Updated on January 30, 2010

Denial

The stage known as denial is a sad stage you see not everyone wants to accept what they are or what they have and they look for a way to hide it which we know as denial.

Some people get denial when they have a terminal illness or other bad things have happened in their lives but were focusing on gay denial which is also a bad stage, some turn to drugs or drink and crime and a lot of people with denial have been known to commit suicide, as we have one of the highest suicide rates in the world because:

·They don’t have the support they need

·They can’t accept what they are

·Their bullied terribly by friends or family

·Rejection from family and friends

These are only a few of the many points that have driven people in denial to suicide each one in their own way terrible and wrong. That is why you have to be strong and avoid denial because it will only make matters a lot worse for you if you don’t.

People in denial try to hide what they are with excuses such as:

·I`m straight not Gay

·My family did this to me

·Gay is a disease

·Its wrong to be gay the bible says so

·Its a phase I will grow out of

I have only named a few but there are many more excuses that people use and refuse to accept what they are, denial can lead to suicide, depression and many other bad things but with support from the right people they could be helped out of denial that is why I have wrote this guide to help you understand that its nobodies fault your gay its your identity and who you are and to be proud of it not fear or shame it. You can cheat people in this life but you can never cheat yourself so these excuses are of no use to you because you are cheating yourself into believing your not gay, when in fact you need to accept that you are gay and you can not carry on like this, because it will only get worse for you living this lie.

I do sympathise with you but you can’t carry on like this indefinitely your only gonna be worse off for it and never able to accept anything in the future, this is not who you are or why you were born in to this world.

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    • calpol25 profile imageAUTHOR

      Callum 

      7 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner)

      God did make us in his image, its not a sin to be gay what so ever, the bible is a book of peace and unfortunately gets twisted sometimes by extremists and used against gay people as a weapon which is wrong because thats not why it ws wrote x

      In the bible there is a passage - love the sinner not the sin, jesus did say let he who is without sin cast the first stone. And no one is without sin x

    • profile image

      ALLAN 

      7 years ago

      thanks. feeling bit down now actually :( i was told god gays against god! i always 4t god made us in his image but gave us diff personallities. i wasnt born in a christian fam but i blieve i am.im scared to go church cus judgement even tho it a sin. seems ppl hide bhind god to reject u yet there the sinners cus tho shall not judge n god made us the way he wants lol.still upset tho lol x

    • calpol25 profile imageAUTHOR

      Callum 

      7 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner)

      Its good that your out of the closet and made new friends x its your first year which is the hardest time for everyone who comes out as gay because your trying to accept yourself, and everything is new to you. I too lost many so called friends when I came out but they were not friends, a friend is some one who likes you for being you and your gender, skin colour, religion etc should not be an issue to them. and what your thinking about the faze is purely normal everyone of us has thought that when we came out, it will be there until your totally acceptant of yourself. Then you will be okay and ready to move forwards but you gotta accept that your gay and yes I understand that being straight would be easier but thats not an option here your gay but you must accept yourself then others will accept you.

      I hope that this helps x

    • profile image

      ALLAN 

      7 years ago

      im out the closet and am openly gay im 21 btw been out nearly a year.tho im out i still dnt 1a be gay.wen i came out i lost a few friends but made new ones.reason i dnt wanna b gay is bcus life wud b so much easier being straight i just keep thinking its a faze.dunno how i can still fink that after all this time

    • raisingme profile image

      raisingme 

      8 years ago from Fraser Valley, British Columbia

      Good for you writing this. My son's friend whom he met when they were both 11 went through this. When his friend was ready to make known that he was gay, in high school my son was the only male friend that stuck by him. They are both 25 now, still friends and our whole family loves him to bits! Ignorance is our only true enemy! Well done on this hub!

    • profile image

      carefreexo 

      8 years ago

      yeah it sucks..i havent talked to her to since i told her. i mean you can't be wrong about tension berween two ppl right.? idk it just sucks... i mean not even the tension.. she said those things along with other stuff and then denied that she did... fml lol.. now i feel like embarrassed that i said something. but i honestly couldnt keep it inside..at least she knows now w/e... thanks for answering my desperate note lol

    • calpol25 profile imageAUTHOR

      Callum 

      8 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner)

      hi carefreexo been ages sorry xx glad that you like my blog and I understand about your friend most people when confused dont want to accept the truth but they do come round eventually lol :)

    • profile image

      carefreexo 

      8 years ago

      there are* and don't want* please respond when you can! thanks again :)

    • profile image

      carefreexo 

      8 years ago

      There alot more aspects of flirtation. I just want to take up your whole page lol..thats just the gist of it. god, i have gotten advice.. of course, it doesnt feel like it ever enough..but, this will pass as all things do.

    • profile image

      carefreexo 

      8 years ago

      thank u so much for this blog. it really helps people find ways independently. Because alot of people are just too ashamed and insecure. I was in that stage, until I was 17. But still going through it when I meet new people. I am writing this comment because I have this friend, I only hung out a few times. and then, did see her for a while. Then, one night we met up at this party, and ended up making out. After that things changed, the eyecontact, the clinginess, the playful teasing, all the great elements of flirtation. Then one night we went out with these two boys. we were dancing and she came in close and said that there is sexual tension between us. I backed away and I said "i know please stop.." I knew right then..that if I made that move..it would've been over..hands down. I was in love with her. Then, she grabbed me and pulled me away from them and started towards the other side of the club. I stopped and we just starred at each other. then, the boys caught up to us. A week later she met up with this boy. She came rushing back and said all she could think about was me. Then, he boy started calling and he said rash things to her. She started crying and I comforted her and kissed her forehead. she said all we need is each other, I smiled and said yes, and we went to sleep. the playful teasing, the eyecontact and lovely flirtation began to fade. Its been months later, and I know I love her. So, I texted her. I told her everything. And she replied that she was drunk, straight and never consider that with a girl. Is she in denial? Those are all real signs of wanting more? I love her, and I just wish she felt that it was okay.

    • calpol25 profile imageAUTHOR

      Callum 

      8 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner)

      Thankyou wordscribe41, I am glad that you like it lol

    • profile image

      wordscribe41 

      8 years ago

      I will never understand the societal judgments thrown around about homosexuality, the whole baloney that it's a "choice". Brother... it makes me nuts. It just so happens I have a LOT of gay friends, my best friend is a gay guy and I've heard some of what he's gone through in public. Fortunately, I live in a very gay-friendly city, so the judging isn't widespread here. Anyway, great hub on a very important topic.

    • profile image

      mdawson17 

      8 years ago

      calpol25 denial does kill many young people if not physically it kills them emotionally and further robs them of a lifetime of complete happiness.

      Being gay is the right of each individual and no other person has the right to disrespect their lifestyle.

      Great hub!!!

      mdawson17

    • calpol25 profile imageAUTHOR

      Callum 

      8 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner)

      Thankyou mega 1 hope you enjoy them. x

    • mega1 profile image

      mega1 

      8 years ago

      I am looking forward to the day (sooner, rather than later, I hope) when being gay will be so totally accepted no one will have to actually "come out" because they will have never been "in the closet". I think for many people this is already the way it is. I'm ready to live in this "open" world. Congrats for being yourself, and open. Looking forward to your other hubs.

    • calpol25 profile imageAUTHOR

      Callum 

      8 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner)

      I am so pleased to hear that your sister is at peace with herself, that is the main thing when accepting homosexuality. Not only for you but your sister too, its so sad that some people cant come to terms with it but the world is changing and help is more available.

      We need more peole like you in todays society who are willing to accept anything and have that unconditional love for friends.

      I like you x

    • AEvans profile image

      Julianna 

      8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      My sister is Lesbian and she is also one of my best friends! She struggled for years and finally she is at peace with herself, all of us our entire family is accepting of who she is and what choices she has made. I am glad that she is happy.:)

    • calpol25 profile imageAUTHOR

      Callum 

      8 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner)

      For more on this go to my blog http:calpol-gaytoday.blogspot.com

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