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Being in Love – the Mental Mindset

Updated on March 20, 2013

Being in love is a touchy subject for some people and there are people who will be offended that I have suggested that being “in love” is a mental mindset. This article is a branch off from my article on the Power of Suggestion, which talked about using the power of suggestion to influence yourself and people around you. I started to write this article first but when I started typing, the other article came out. This article has been in the back of my mind and I hope that I can do it justice. Remember that a mental mindset is simply a way of thinking or having your mind set on something.

Hollywood movies and romance novels have portrayed being in love as a wildly passionate relationship that takes your breath away with non-stop romance. While most ladies would love to have that kind of passion and romance, it very seldom happens that way. Little girls grow up dreaming of fairy tales and looking for their Prince Charming and little boys want to be the hero that rescues the fair maiden but . . . Let’s face it ladies, you may have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince. And guys, that ugly duckling that you make fun of may turn out to be the beautiful swan who won’t give you the time of day because she remembers every hurtful word you said.

Many people spend their whole life searching for the romantic love and they miss the kind of love that was with them the whole time.

The Power of Suggestion

Can you think yourself into being in love with someone?  Yes!  The human mind can easily be influenced into believing whatever you want it to believe.

Let’s take children for an example.  A little girl is teased by her friends, saying she likes one of the boys.  It doesn’t matter if the little girl actually likes the boy or not because the power of suggestion for “being in love” has been placed in the little girl’s mind.  Over the next few days/weeks/months the little girl is going to keep thinking about that boy.  She is going to start questioning herself and think that maybe she does like him . . . maybe her friends just noticed it before she had admitted it to herself.  Before long, the little girl thinks that she is madly in love with this boy.  Then something will happen to change the little girl’s opinion of the boy, often times because the little boy has said or done something mean to the girl or he has picked someone else to be his girlfriend.  The little girl will be heartbroken for a few days . . . then she usually starts asking herself why she liked the guy in the first place.  This scenario works for boys as well as girls . . . and for children from preschool age all the way up to college age and older.  The more you think about a person, the easier it is to convince yourself that you are in love with that person.

You can also make yourself believe that the other person is madly in love with you.  Say this other person, the object of your affection, is a fellow student, a co-worker, or a casual friend.  This person may say hi to you every once in a while, wave to you from across the room, or smile when they pass you in the hall.  You can take those little moments and over think them into being something more than they are intended.  The more you think about it, the more you will think yourself into believing that this person must like you but they are just too shy or they don’t know how approach you.

Let’s keep in mind those people who take their imagined affection to a level of obsession . . . and those people become stalkers.  The power of suggestion is so strong in those people that reality does not stand a chance of stopping them.

Daydreams and Fantasies

Just about everyone has been caught daydreaming at some point in time.  Daydreaming is the subconscious mind’s way of applying the power of suggestion to your thoughts.  Many people feel that daydreaming is a waste of time or that it is only for children.  A large number of the best books, movies, poetry, and art pieces began as just a daydream . . . only the dreamer decided to take it a step farther and make it a reality.

Fantasies are daydreams that have taken on a sexual nature.  Have you ever lain awake in bed, letting the fantasies run through your head for hours and hours until you are worked into an extreme state of arousal and left sexually frustrated?  Oh yes, it can be done . . . and all through the power of suggestion from your subconscious mind.

A person who has learned to control the power of suggestion can influence their daydreams and fantasies without causing the dream or fantasy to end.  It may take some practice but anyone can learn to control it.

The Power of the Mind

The power of the mind is an amazing thing.  You can use the power of suggestion for positive deeds, such as cheering someone up, or you can use it for negative deeds, like making someone think they are getting sick.  You can make yourself fall in love . . . or in lust.  Likewise, you can think yourself out of love.  It all depends on how you use the power of suggestion.


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    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama


      On falling in love. I believe that a man and a woman can be in-love without each knowing it. And I truly believe that falling in-love just happens. I know it for a fact. Without planning or suggestions.

      As for your hub, This is an excellent piece of writing. Honestly, I can easily describe it as amazing.

      I loved every word. Graphics were superb. This hub was helpful, informative and I found it very interesting.

      Voted up and all the choices because you deserve it.

      You have such a gift for writing. Keep writing no matter what.


      Kenneth Avery, Hamilton, Alabama

    • jacqui2011 profile image

      jacqui2011 6 years ago from Norfolk, UK

      An interesting take on love. I have thought myself to being in love several times. I was even married for almost 20 years and thought it was true love. Just over 3 years ago I met a man and it changed my whole perception of love. We both fell in love the instant we met and have never felt this way before. Three years on, and we still feel the same way, life is totally different now and I think about him when we are not together. As you say though, there can be a fine line between reality and fantasy. Very interesting article. Voted up.