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Benching: Dating's New Complication

Updated on November 11, 2019
Karen Whitefield profile image

Karen Whitefield loves to read, write and nap. Find her at true marriage stories [dot com].

What Is Benching And How Is It Different From Breadcrumbing?

If you have dated long enough and still haven't found anyone that you can spend the rest of your life with, then you have been through ghosting, benching, breadcrumbing or zombieing. The good thing about these terminologies is that they are sometimes, self-explanatory (if you think hard enough). Benching is when someone puts you on the bench, waiting, while they are involved with someone else. That is correct! They are dating other men or women while you are a "maybe" for them. However, breadcrumbing is a little more less obvious. The breadcrumber may not always acknowledge that they are seeing anyone, you may never know. But in either case, you are not their first priority, so, if someone is benching you, you need to beware and maybe, even think of leaving the relationship.

Benching is when someone puts you on the bench, waiting, while they are involved with someone else. That is correct! They are dating other men or women while you are a "maybe" for them. However, breadcrumbing is a little more less obvious. The breadcrumber may not always acknowledge that they are seeing anyone, you may never know. But in either case, you are not their first priority, so, if someone is benching you, you need to beware and maybe, even think of leaving the relationship.

Are you Being Benched?

There are some obvious signs of being benched and if you are one of those who suspect it, then you need to take stock of the situation now. One of the first signs of being benched is the scarcity of the attention that you get form your man. It's not going to be much and the content of the messages are going to be very dismal. When you text him, he takes forever to text you back and if you make plans to meet, they are cancelled at the last moment. The truth is he is seeing someone else and that's where his energy is going. Which is why, you are never going to be the first priority.

When you text him, he takes forever to text you back and if you make plans to meet, they are cancelled at the last moment. The truth is he is seeing someone else and that's where his energy is going. Which is why, you are never going to be the first priority.

Can You Avoid Benching If You Recognize The Symptoms Soon Enough?

Yes. There are some signs and signals that you will get from the person who is about to bench you. Pay attention to the amount of attention he gives you. Are you the one always initiating conversation? Are you the one who has to go to his part of the city to meet each other. Are you the one who has to has to remind him of the times you agreed to meet? Then yes, these are some of the tell tale signs of being benched. If he hasn't already done it, he is about to do it and you should prepare for a major heartbreak if you are into this guy.

Are you the one always initiating conversation? Are you the one who has to go to his part of the city to meet each other. Are you the one who has to has to remind him of the times you agreed to meet? Then yes, these are some of the tell tale signs of being benched. If he hasn't already done it, he is about to do it and you should prepare for a major heartbreak if you are into this guy.

How To Recover From It?

If you have already been benched and had your heart broken then the first thing to remember is that he is not going to be the last guy you will ever get intimately involved with. There will be more. And it should come as a relief to you that you are not with someone who doesn't want to make you his first priority. You have to keep your standards high if you want to attract someone worth being with, otherwise it's really just a waste of time.

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