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5 Simple Steps to Maintain Friendship in Marriage

Updated on March 26, 2015

Friendship in Relationships

I'm one of the lucky ones, marriage is everything I expected. The Good. The Bad. and The Fabulous. Ever since I was a child I used to dream about my husband to be. When most kids played as children they played school, doctor, nurse, or cops and robbers. My favorite game was to play house. I was the ever reliable housewife and mother of four at the ripe old age of 6. Shuffling around in my mothers high heels I prepared meals, cared for children and cleaned house all for fun. As I grew older I spent time secretly believing "The One" would find his way to me because it was in my fate to be married.

I'm sad to say it took me a few tries to find my mister fabulous but once I did I realized he was the one in one simple conversation with my mother. Married at 19 her and my father have been together for many years now. I was having a conversation with her one day and I said to her that my relationship was the easiest I had ever been in. I realized then that this must be the way it supposed to be.

Spending time with friends and family over the years I noticed all the good things and the bad things a relationship can do to a person. I knew the bad simply wasn't avoidable but the good certainly needed to outweigh it. My relationship with my husband has been relativity simple because I do what I can to follow a few simple rules.

The SPARK in friendship is just as important as the spark in bed!

5 Things to Remember

1. You are both human- I know it's hard to believe but you are only human. Human's make mistakes, feel vulnerable, and question their decisions in life. If you had a friend who made a mistake would you yell and scream at him or her to get your point across? You need to remember that your husband or wife deserves the same level of support and patience as the friend that doesn't sleep beside you at night.

2. Don't lead with your crazy- Everyone has a little bit of crazy inside them. Sharing your life with someone will open that door to your crazy ever so often. The important part is to understand a time and a place for it. Your spouse is there to love and support you but if you come flying at them with every crazy thought in your head you're likely to offend or upset them. Always be yourself but at times it doesn't hurt to be a filtered version of yourself.

3. Chose your fights wisely- I'm sure you have all heard this one before but it's the best advice anyone ever gave me. As a spouse it is your right to chose to fight or not to fight. What's important is you make sure you are not fighting over every little thing. If something that comes up is truly not a big deal to you there is no need to pick a fight over it. It's perfectly okay to not argue.

4. The opinion of others have nothing to do with your marriage- One of the biggest mistakes newlyweds have is sharing the intimate details of their relationships with their friends and family. It's a habit that often carries over from the boyfriend and girlfriend days. The truth is to be in a fully committed marriage there are somethings that just don't need to be shared with others. As you share intimate details with friends their immediate response is to weigh in on the situation at large. If instead of talking things over with someone outside your marriage you should talk it through with your husband or wife. Remember they are your best friend first and everything else falls in position behind that role.

5. Lend a helping hand- Need a couch moved? Someone to run by the store for you? As a single woman for many years I had a handful of friends I would count on if something came up. Now as a married woman I have my husband. I help him with things and he helps me, it's a natural progression of a friendship. Lending a helping hand without keeping a tally is key. You can't expect someone to help you if you are constantly reminding them of all the things you've done for them. Help your husband or wife as you would help your best friend and you will make sure they always feel valued.

A ring represents your best friend for the rest of your life.

Importance of Friendship

What's more important in your relationship?

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Laughter Makes Happiness

Remember to not take things to seriously! A smile, a laugh a simple gesture can go along way. If you find someone who makes you enjoy life the 5 simple steps above are as easy as can be. When I take a step back and look at my life, marriage and friendship with my husband the laughter and joy he brings me is the true reason why I chose him to stand by my side forever.

Always Laugh


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