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Best Habits For Newlyweds

Updated on July 30, 2018
rohanfelix profile image

Rohan is an observer of marriages. He has seen more than his share of of successful and unsuccessful marriages.

A Marriage That Just Survives Will Fail

As you begin your marital life,stay positive about the road ahead. Ignore all the statistics about how long the average marriage lasts. Aim for your marriage to prosper and not just survive.

Remember that forming the right habits now will save a lot of trouble down the road. Numerous couples have managed a loving, living relationship by following the habits discussed below.

Begin your married life with the the right expectations.
Begin your married life with the the right expectations. | Source

1. Make Intimacy A Regular Habit

Without intimacy, a marriage eventually withers away. Make sure you schedule enough alone time every week. This should be done even after you have children. Leave your children with your grandparents or trusted neighbours for a few hours if required. Put your phones on “silent” mode at such times. Calls can be returned later.

If you are recently married, it might be easy to overlook the need for meaningful alone time, but consciously developing this habit will help your relationship in the long run.

Remember that non-sexual intimacy and touch is just as important as letting the sparks fly under the covers. A little cuddling every now and then helps with bonding in a big way.

How good is the intimacy in your marriage?

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2. Speak Gently

A gentle voice helps keep the balance in any situation regardless of how stressed out one is. If you scream, you lose. If you feel you are in the right, state your views rationally.

Never forget that every screaming session slowly erodes the longevity of a marriage.

3. Be Grateful

At all times… Even when the going seems dreary, realize that you are with the one who matters the most to you. This mindset will help you tide over any tough situation.

Have an attitude of gratitude.
Have an attitude of gratitude. | Source

4. Be Realistic

Be realistic about what you want out of the marriage. The generally agreed-upon functions of marriage are procreation, companionship, and union. Measure your relationship based on these yardsticks.

Having unrealistic expectations of the relationship will make you strive for the unattainable, leaving you drained and disappointed.

5. Pray Together

You might have heard that “a family that prays together, stays together.” This is a timeless truth. Praying together helps one be compassionate about the other and treat them as someone precious in the eyes of God. If your religious convictions differ from those of your partner, agreeing to disagree is the way to go.

Praying together will not take away from your personal spirituality. Rather, it will add to it. If you want some time in solitary prayer from time to time, feel free to schedule it after letting your spouse know.

If your religious convictions differ from those of your partner, agreeing to disagree is the way to go.

6. Be Open With Each Other About Your Expectations

In a marriage, as in any other relationship, communication is key. Don’t assume that your partner understands you. They may not unless you let them know.

Don’t give subtle hints because they will be misunderstood, leading to conflict. Avoid passive aggression and stonewalling at all costs. Passive aggression leads to an erosion of trust that is hard to rectify.

Proper communication is key to a successful marriage.
Proper communication is key to a successful marriage. | Source

7. Watch Out For Each Other

You are a team, remember? Any sports team needs selfless players who aren’t afraid of bruises and concussions to succeed. Never be jealous of the achievements of your spouse. Selflessness will take your marriage places.

8. Trust Your Partner

Both you and your partner are adults and understand your priorities. Trust the judgements your partner makes, especially about the people they engage with. Suspicion should have no place in your relationship.

9. Give Space

No matter how intimate your relationship, you are both individuals at the end of the day. Each of you has your own tastes and goals. By giving your partner their personal space, you convey that you respect them. The lack of space can suffocate your relationship.

At the end of the day, every person has their own tastes and passions.
At the end of the day, every person has their own tastes and passions. | Source

10. Cherish Your In-Laws

Never treat your in-laws as a third party to your affairs. Remember they are the immediate family of your partner and are dear to him/her. Make them dear to you. Interact with them often and learn more about their background. This information will be invaluable if things get difficult between you and your partner.

11. Deal With Issues Early

Never let negativity fester. As it is stated in the Bible, “never let the sun set on your anger.” Decide upon a mechanism of conflict resolution and use it as and when required. This may seem too corporate and formal but will save your marriage every time things get challenging.

Never let the sun set on your anger.
Never let the sun set on your anger. | Source

12. Apologize When You Must

Seeking forgiveness when one is in the wrong is a strength rather than a weakness. All too often, people hold to their positions even when they know they are wrong just to satiate their egos. Don’t be such a person. Start on the right note. Nip your egotism in the bud.

In the same vein, forgive. Always forgive. No conduct is beyond rectification. Don’t hold grudges. Let angry thoughts pass without being indulged. This will keep your blood pressure under control and your marriage radiant as a garden in the spring sun!

13. Be Compassionate

Lastly, never forget to treasure your partner. They have consented to spend the rest of their life with you. That in itself is reason enough.

Never stop cherishing your spouse.
Never stop cherishing your spouse. | Source

What Do You Think?

What, in your view, makes a marriage tick? Share your observations in the comments section.

© 2018 Rohan Rinaldo Felix


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