Blame the Woman....
A letter appeared in the Daily Mail; (a British rag). It was written by a chap who used the name 'Colin'.
The letter received so many responses it became an article. There were hundreds, then thousands of comments and it moved online.
Then there was a blog, and the information appeared on other blogs and gave
birth to many debates.
The Letter ; Paraphrased
Colin writes how he was the manager of a business who had been married for nearly ten years. He was the father of two children, a third was on the way.
He and his family lived in their own home, had cars and money and everything was 'perfect'. Then, he hired a new Secretary.
This was a hot twenty six year old who dressed provocatively and enjoyed flirting with him.
My favourite part of the letter was when he described how he had gotten drunk at the Xmas party and 'found himself in bed with the Hottie.'
What set me off, and will probably set off most women reading this last remark,
was the term 'found himself in bed'.
He 'found himself in bed' as if he had been transported by the Enterprise, his clothing evaporated, and while in a complete coma was put in bed with this woman.
Absolutely no responsibility whatsoever on Colin's part.
Colin didn't do anything, you see, it all 'happened to him'.
And you know who is at fault, right?
Back to the Letter
Colin now goes on to describe how this 'piranha' woman began to send him texts, and call him, and talk to him in a familiar manner.
He explains how his wife found out about the relationship, (which wasn't a one off but had continued).
Colin cries about how his wife divorced him and took everything. How he lost his home, and how he lost his job.
All because of that Piranha woman.
So here's a guy has that infamous; 'I was so drunk I didn't know what I was doing',
excuse for the Xmas party. What's his excuse for continuing the affair?
Oh, he explains how this woman pursued him. How she threatened to kill herself
if he left her. He goes into chapter and verse as how she 'forced' him to continue
the affair. He whines about his non-understanding wife, who divorced him and took everything. How his company fired him. How he wound up being homeless and living on the street.
And all because of that Secretary!
So here was a guy, married, family, position. He hires a secretary. This secretary is sexy and young. Why did he hire a sexy young secretary?
He flirts with her. And she flirts back. Who put the gun to his head and forced him to flirt with her?
At this point it is called 'Pre Adultery' for he is looking for a place and time to have sex with her. The opportunity arrives. He claims he was 'drunk' when he had sex with his secretary.
Couldn't have been very drunk, considering what having sex entails.
If he hadn't been interested in the secretary, he wouldn't have flirted with her.
If she made a move on him, he could have sharply responded; "That behaviour is inappropriate!"
He could have discharged her, could have done any of a dozen actions to make her understand he was not interested. But he didn't.
He didn't stop the progression because he wanted it. And when he got what he wanted, he took it. And took it.
So he gets caught. Obvious. His wife dumps him and takes everything. His employers get rid of him for committing adultery with his secretary.
Oh, of Course! It was the Secretary's Fault!
And Guess what?
Lots and lots and lots of people Agreed with him!
It was the Secretary's fault!
She was a Piranha Woman, who preys on poor little married managers.
Let's Talk Reality
A friend of mine hired a secretary. She came to work with a purple skirt split to her ghetto region.
I was outraged. His wife wasn't.
She said, "Ask him what colour the skirt is."
He looked up from his documents, a puzzled expression; "Green?"
He didn't notice her. He noticed her work. He noticed misspellings, he noticed bad grammar. In short, he wasn't interested in her sexually.
That is the point. If one is not sexually directed, as my friend, they don't notice things like clothing.
A guy, looking for an affair, will make a move on any possible female. A guy, looking for an affair will pass remarks with double and triple ententes.
If that woman doesn't know he's married, or thinks he is in love with her, and doesn't turn down those lunches or after work drinks she will wind up in bed with him.
And is it her fault?
Truth and Reality
Firstly, if a man isn't interested in a woman, she can wear a purple skirt split to her ghetto region and he won't notice. If a man is not intending to have an affair, he makes himself unavailable.
A secretary can flirt, and the uninterested boss will respond in a non-positive manner. He mightbe annoyed and display anger. He might even fire her for 'inappropriate behaviour.'
A secretary might not even know the colour of her bosses eyes but he can tell you that she wore that blouse last week Tuesday, and changed the colour of her lipstick if his mind is on sex.
Secondly, adultery is not automatic. A man doesn't look at a woman and their clothes fall off as they are transported to a bedroom. A man has to decide, has to set up the time and place, even casually. He doesn't leave his house and go to work and out of a clear blue sky encounters a woman who instantly ....no...
Adultery is cultivated. It begins with the consideration of it happening. It then moves step by step to a relationship in which sexual connection is available. Then, time, place is needed for culmination.
Colin and his affair with the secretary was a long time developing. It would have continued if his wife had not uncovered the relationship.
If it is not rape, if it is consensual...that means two people agreed.
Those posters who agreed with Colin are those who do not take responsibility for their actions.