Blind Dates, Sex, and What Once Scared the Hell Out of Me!
A Country Boy In The Big City!
I was surfing the cable channels one afternoon when I landed on an old black and white movie about a young man in his late twenties who agreed to go out on a blind date. The guy was very handsome and his prospective date was top model material.
Their date started with a walk on the beach, followed by a formal diner, and then a movie. At the end of the first evening he dropped her off at her place and went home. A few days later they would repeat the process. On the third date they retreated to her place after the movie and found themselves engaged in a little physical intimacy while listening to soft music. The girl interrupted the moment and instructed the young man to take off his shoes and make himself at home as she retreated to the bedroom to slip into something a little more comfortable. It was at this moment that I closed my eyes and was taken back in time to my first blind date and the frightening outcome.
Before I continue I want to apologize to all non-heterosexuals reading this HUB. My intent is not to offend or disrespect you in any way. I just want to share a blind date moment which happens to be a true story! You can stop reading this hub now. If not, having offered an advance apology I will continue……
During the summer of 1979 a close military buddy asked me if I was willing to go out on a blind date with him and his girlfriend. After quizzing him about the prospective date I reluctantly said yes (as I did not care much for blind dates). He assured me that the young woman was beautiful, classy, charming, and had a body that would stop an angel in his tracks! Still, I reluctantly said yes, and the date was set for later that evening after work around 7 p.m... We were to swing by his friend’s home to pick her up and then proceed to the Bon Marche’ (now formally known as Macys) in downtown Seattle to pick up my blind date as her shift would be ending. We arrived at her place of employment as planned and he escorted me inside to meet her. At first glance I was flabbergasted by her stunning beauty. She was all he described, and more. Every strand of her hair was in place and her makeup was perfectly done. Her smile just calmed all fears I had of the unknown. Her eyes was so warm and inviting I had to fight back a very strong notion to ask her to marry me. I knew it was crazy but at that moment, I just wanted to be forever in the arms of an angel.
We exchanged hello’s and short introductions. As she turned her back to retrieve her coat I glanced at my military buddy and gave him the thumbs up in approval. We left the store and returned to the car which was parked in a 30 minutes loading zone. Like a gentleman I opened her door and seated her in the front passenger seat next to me. I quickly jumped in the car on the driver side and waited patiently as she buckled her seatbelt. I then buckled my seatbelt and calmly asked the other passengers if they were ready to go and upon their affirmation we slowly drove off in my 1971 Mercury Cougar XR7. Picture this car…..The exterior was glossy black, with chrome rims, Yokohama tires, and a custom made sunroof! The interior was dark burgundy leather with bucket seats and an eight track tape player (for you young people born after 1979 CD and Cassette players were not invented for automobiles yet).
Man the night was mine. I was young with a hot car, a hot chick, and money in my pocket. We proceeded to diner, a movie, and then to a disco where we danced the night away. The club closed around 2:00 a.m., and as I dropped my friend and his girl off at his place, my date and I went to her home which was a modest one bedroom apartment approximately 890 square feet with elaborate cultural decorations. We sat and had small talk before having a nightcap. After the nightcap things got romantically physical between us. She interrupted the moment and began to cosmetically undress, first removing her fingernails. As we were discussing the highlights of the evening and my lack of dancing skills she began to remove her eye lashes and ear rings and I thought, yeah baby, take it all off!! The conversation turned to the skills of the DJ as she slowly removed her wig. I was beginning to see a slightly different person so I took another big gulp of Johnny Walker Red (straight).
She reached across me to dim the lights and proceeded to wipe away her makeup. Afterwards she stood and began walking slowly towards the bedroom instructing me to take off my shoes and make myself at home while she slipped into something a little more comfortable. While walking away she was still removing items from her body. I could not see clearly what they were because by this time the room was much darker. Once she disappeared into the bedroom I began to take note of my surroundings and realized that certain silhouette images on the floor appeared to be breasts and butt pads. I then took a mental note of the personal items she removed and realized that all the feminine qualities of the woman I just spent a lovely evening with was lying on the floor. Suddenly, a story my brother shared with me about an awkward moment with what he thought was a female during the Vietnam War clouded my thoughts. It caused my mind to race and I became uncertain as to who or what was going to exit the bedroom - so I panicked!
Yes, I freaked out!
While she was in the bedroom I grabbed my clothes and sneaked out the back door. I ran to the front of the apartment and quietly got in my car and drove back to the military base. Once in the barracks I took a long shower and got in my bunk where I balled up in a knot - and I prayed! It was not the prayer of Jabez! No sir, I did not want my territories enlarged that night. I prayed the prayer my mother taught me when I was a little boy……”Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I shall die before I wake I pray The Lord my soul He’ll take - Amen!” ……and I went to sleep.
Now, please don’t judge me. I have nothing against Homosexuals, Transsexual, Gays, or whatever. If that’s your preference more power to you - It’s just not me. You respect my sexual preference and I’ll respect yours. I like to think that I am an open minded person who is willing to try anything once. However, I was not ready for a male on male sexual encounter and not even Mr. Johnny Walker Red could convince me! Not that night, not ever!
Anyway, I don’t know what the remaining of his night was like (by now I was convinced that it was not a biological female). I was just grateful that my eyes were opened before it was too late. I was real proud of myself and ready to kill my military buddy…..
A few days later when I discovered that she was in fact, a woman. A beautiful biological female – and she liked me, up to the point I lost my mind! Well, at the urging of my buddy I eventually overcame my shame, stupidity, remorse, and returned to the Bon Marche’ with a bouquet of roses, a card, and a prepared lie but unfortunately upon arrival at her station I was immediately escorted out by security.
Yes, she saw me coming and called security…. Damn!
Now, back to the movie. I watched the movie with great anticipation, hoping the young man wasn’t an idiot and that he will at least wait until the young lady returned from the bedroom. Well, he did wait. She entered the bedroom a female and came out a female, and they made passionate love.
As for me...well, I still don’t like blind dates. But I’ve since learned that some women do wear wigs, weaves, false eyelashes, and false nails.........., especially women who work in cosmetics and sell the products for a living!
Oh well, life goes on....even for idiots like myself!