ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Cut Ties Without Breaking Hearts: A Guide to Breaking Up

Updated on April 10, 2021

How to: Break Up Successfully

It was great in the beginning. You couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. But, somehow throughout the years you have found yourselves growing apart. It’s not that either of you did any one thing wrong, or maybe you did. But the spark that was once there is nothing more than a match without a strike. Breaking up is hard to do. That is probably why so many relationships supersede their expiration dates. Why does it feel like the ending of each relationship is so much harder than the last? Maybe it means you are just getting that much closer to that true, heart stoping, knee shaking, grow old together kind of love. So, you have taken the plunge into the unknown…what now?

Step 1: Breathe

It’s going to be okay. They don’t call them broken hearts for nothing. Walking away from any relationship is hard. But that doesn’t mean your life has to stop. For all you know, this could be the best thing that has ever happened to you! Inhale...Exhale.

Step 2: Remember

There was once a time when this person probably meant more to you than anyone in your world. There was a reason for that. Hold onto this. Walking away from a relationship is never easy. But walking away with pure hatred and resentment because that “person” you fell in love with no longer exists is something you do not want to carry in your heart.

Step 3: Stop Fighting

Much like Step 2, you may be harboring quite a bit of resentment for your once “Other Half”. It’s easy to fall into the blame game and lash out. This is because you’re truly hurting inside. However, arguments are not going to get either of you anywhere other than a one way ticket into the ring of fire. Bite your tongue, and then your lips if something slips. Stay calm, try to talk it out and if they aren’t willing to take this route, take space until they are. You two have invested a LOT of time in this. Ending it is not going to be easy.

Step 4: Be Confident

Be confident with your decision to leave. If walking away has crossed your mind even a few times, then there is a good chance that you made the right choice.

Step 5: This isn’t a Movie

Romantic movies set us up for the dramatic downfall of a relationship. The huge fight, the clothes on the lawn and locks changed before the next scene. There is no need for a dramatic ending. If you live together, move your things when the other isn’t home (there is no need to rub it in that much more). And if you don’t live together, kudos.

Step 6: Don’t Date

At least not until you KNOW you are ready. And to be completely honest, you’re not going to be ready until you completely satisfy Step 5 and stop looking for another perfect someone. Trust me they will come…eventually. The best advice for this step is to truly learn from all of the mistakes made in this relationship so that nothing is taken for granted in your next. Give yourself time to grow.

Step 7: Take Time Apart

Stepping back from the person you have likely spent every waking hour with for the last several (insert: days, weeks, months, years) with isn't easy but very necessary. Especially at the very beginning of a break up. Friendships aren't possible over night. When a heart breaks it definitely does not break even. So whether you're the one with the shorter end of the stick or not, respect that in this case, time must heal some wounds.

Step 8: Find Yourself Again

Just as you may think your Ex Lover has changed, you probably have too. So, get out there and focus on yourself. Find that person in you who is worth it. Start a new routine (and stick to it). Join a gym, take your dog to the park, pick up a book, take a class, learn a new language, reach out to old friends you may have lost touch with and fake it until you make it. Before you know it, you’ll be stepping right back into true happiness.

Yes, this is just the beginning of a whole new book but the best part about it is that you get to write each and every chapter. You are now in charge of what comes next. Enjoy every single moment of it!

Share Your Advice

What is the Best Kept Secret to A Successful Relationship?

See results

© 2017 BriannaGalapir


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)