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Breaking through the mask- How to tell if you are dating a sociopath.
"This is just too good to be true, I love you."
I hate being cliché, but the truth in this world is, if it seems too good to be true, then it probably isn't. Most of the time you can usher this sentiment towards deals of finance, where if you indeed choose the destructive path, all your out to lose in the worst case scenario is a few bucks. This kind of thing is easily chalked up to "Sheesh, I'll never do that again". The money eventually gets replaced and there is somewhat of a positive lesson learned from the whole thing. Such is not the case when we look towards the pitfalls of falling in love with a freaking sociopath. Sociopaths are an entirely different type of a person, many of them like to call themselves survivors, who couldn't appreciate that? The fact of the matter is that the attitude towards surviving stretches way past being an honorable citizen who works hard for an honest days pay, the sociopaths idea of survival is to destroy and devour all that they can, in their world, this is deemed as success. This individual works wonders in the competitive corporate market, they are revered for their business brutality and are usually pretty well off financially. But when this predatory mindset enters the world of love and relationships, the damage the sociopath can do to those unprepared can have devastating, and even life changing consequences.
So yay! That's why we are here today.
I have just recently gotten out of one of the most debilitating relationships of my life. I fell hard for the most beautiful sociopath I have ever gotten the pleasure to go through hell with. This is not going to be a hub fixed around the torment and heartbreak achieved through my relationship with my sweet little sociopath, nor am I here to smear anyone's name. I am here today so that others can stay safe, and identify the key elements within the sociopathic methodology. I love people, and I cannot stress enough on how harmful it can be to you, if you do in fact find yourself in the romantic clutches of a sociopath.
So without further ado, here are the top ten dead giveaway characteristics of our lovely, yet deadly friend, the sociopath.
#1- Sociopaths are entitled to everything!
The cardinal virtue of all Sociopaths is the wonderful trait of an over inflated ego. In their mindset they feel as though the world owes them something, and they deserve to be catered to. Now we are not talking about getting a back rub once in a while, or having to cook them dinner. This goes much deeper. The Sociopath demands constant attention from their target. The sociopath decides what the couple does, when, and how they do it. The only way to get positive attention from a sociopath is to cater to this whim. If not, you will notice a drastic change in their attitude, sometimes it can result in hostility and violence.
They will also exhibit moments of grandiosity, talking primarily about themselves and their wonderful accomplishments. And in some cases, the stories can get pretty unbelievable. Because...
#2- Sociopaths lie and manipulate for fun.
A sociopaths life's blood is the game of manipulation, the only rule to their game is "whatever it takes to win". They have no qualm in hurting another while achieving their goal, they will lie, guilt trip, and cast blame to the target if ever caught in their methods.
The sociopaths job is to "get over" on the entire world. And if they are ever recognized as a sociopath, they will in fact work even harder at their craft. The ultimate thrill for the sociopath is "dupers delight", which is tricking their target further even after the target has flushed them out as a sociopath.
#3 Sociopaths lack empathy.
Sociopaths lack love, they have no true emotions, this is not their fault. The emotions they express are what they have modeled as tools in order to manipulate. Crying does not seem genuine, and is only used to bring attention to the sociopath.
A good test in identifying a sociopath is to yawn in front of them, this has been researched as one of the best ways to spot one. If they yawn back at you, then they can identify with your feelings of being tired, if they just stare back without reaction, that's a huge giveaway. This test should in fact be tried frequently. The sociopaths reaction will not change, that is unless you tell them of the experiment, then they will of course, provide the reaction deemed best to suit their winning formula.
#4- Sociopaths feel no shame or regret.
Sociopaths believe they are always right and justified in what they do. They will never apologize, only make empty promises that it will not happen again or twist and shift blame to another focal point. If they speak of remorse it is only a facade in order to manipulate.
#5- Sociopaths are impulsive and irresponsible.
They do what they want, when they want to. They think nothing of the consequences of their actions nor care who they hurt in order to achieve their goal. Combining this behavior with frequent substance abuse usually will land the "fly by the seat of their pants" sociopath into trouble with the law.
#6- Sociopaths have very few friends.
They don't have many friends, they have pseudo friends that serve as acquaintances or tools for survival. They will always refer to themselves as "survivors" where in fact, many a sociopath will use the people around them in order to survive as they put it. The bottom line is, a sociopath has a "friend" until the friend ceases in providing them with what they need.
#7- Sociopaths are charming, superficially.
Sociopaths are very charming, charismatic, and will make it a point to shower you with compliments that, at many a time, seem quite unbelievable. This is one of the most dangerous tools of the sociopath, for everyone loves to be adored, and they know this! The sociopath uses these compliments as a sort of job security, for when the sociopath is gone from your life, so are these endearments.
You must always remind yourself that the things they say to you are in fact only an act, a craft of manipulation used by the sociopath in order to keep control over you.
#8- Sociopaths need constant stimulation.
Sociopaths require constant stimulation, many are and have a history of promiscuity, deviancy, and multiple substance addictions. Most have also at once in their lives been diagnosed with a gratification disorder.
#9- Sociopaths don't follow the rules of society.
Sociopaths do not live by the same rules of normal citizens, their game is survival through manipulation, this does not stop just because laws of the land tell them otherwise. Sociopaths have no regard for the consequences of their actions, nor care about societal norms. They feel entitled to do whatever they want at whatever the cost. They will continue to make the same mistakes even after multiple punishments. It's not that they do not know the difference between right or wrong, they just do not care. This attitude can be detrimental to the sociopath, and of course their family members.
#10- Sociopaths have a history of early abuse.
Sociopaths are molded through a history of early childhood trauma. The abuse suffered at such a young age pollutes and distorts the way they can accept and express love. Trust becomes foreign to them, and in turn so do deep loving relationships. Sociopaths will have a history of many relationships, with few lasting longer than a year.
So does this sound like someone you know?
If you have in fact identified with any more than three of these traits in your partner then you may be dating a Sociopath. And in knowing this, be very careful. You may believe that you are in a healthy and stable relationship, and that your prospective partner loves you with all his/her being. But rest assured, if you are dating a Sociopath, they will destroy you. You will never see it coming and the devastation can cause extremely harmful psychological effects. Getting out of a relationship with a Sociopath is indeed your best bet.
Okay? So what can I do?
Escaping the clutches of a Sociopath is not easy, but it can be done.
1. Break off all communication! This is vital, for you must remember that a Sociopath's goal is to win, and will say and do just about anything to accomplish this.
2. Get rid of everything that reminds you of the relationship. Your emotional safety is counting on it.
3. Constantly tell yourself that the relationship was never real, and a trick that I used after I got out of the Hospital was to imagine the entire relationship as a bad dream. Convince yourself that the other person never really existed.
4. Find a support group or loving friends and family.
5. Be proud of yourself for going through this, for now you will be able to guard yourself from this kind of treatment for the rest of your life.
6. Stay Strong!