- Gender and Relationships»
Bridging the Gap- Woman to Woman
Why do we put each other on a pedestal? Women today are probably some of the most competitive people out there. We judge each other so harshly and with little to no knowledge of the facts. This thought has been something that me and my mother have discussed on several occasions but it was one trip to the supermarket that really opened my eyes to this situation. Me and my mother were at the grocery store and getting ready to check out. On the way to the check out lane we see a young mother with three children trying to check out. She has many coupons, trying to do the right thing and be frugal and you can tell she is struggling. The kids obviously tired of being in the store are yelling, trying to climb out of the cart and just causing a ruckus. Now usually I would just look on and not say anything but of course in the back of my mind I'm thinking, "why didn't you try to do this without the kids", and "what kind of mother is she?"
My mother being the person she is went right up to the family and starting talking to the kids to distract them from pulling candy off the self. She told the women that she would help her out and distract the kids so she could finish checking out. I went over and helped my mom out and I realized that this is what is missing!! A kinship, a bond, an overall mother to mother relationship.
Why Is It So Hard to Communicate With The Same Sex?
Throughout the years women have always deemed themselves great communicators. We are able to communicate more often and clearly to our male counterparts. We can emphasize with others on a whole other level. However, maybe without knowing it we have slipped from this and fallen into a strange world of texting, face-booking, and seclusion. We as women tend to find it difficult to communicate with one another even when we have an infinite number of things in common. One of the biggest things that some women have in common is being a mother. I myself, find it hard to speak to other women who I don't know. So I am speaking in terms of my own experiences, seeing other women with kids and being so nervous to strike up a conversation. What is it? I have often thought that and then I realize that the base root of it is being judged. Much like high school parenting has become a competition when it should really be a partnership. I'm nervous that I will say something that will offend another mom, or that my way of parenting is not their style and instantly be judged for it. However, I like to learn new things and really do value input from other moms and it keeps me more informed. One example, that comes to mind is I have a friend who is a naturalist in her parenting methods. Very extreme in most things when it concerns herself and her family and staying the natural path. It isn't my type of parenting, but I can say I have learned and adapted some of the things I give my girls because of her influence and I know that if I have a question about what is better for my children she would be the first person I would ask, and I know that she has done the research behind it and I trust her opinion.
We are living in a world that is driven by competition. Everywhere we go, every time we look around we are reminded about things that we don't have and things that others have that we want. We compete with our friends, our relatives, and of course with each other. I know because I am a women, a mom, and a competitive person. We are faced with this everyday and it isn't just with parenting, although, for moms it is very obvious that it is in our faces but even if you are not a mom. The competition with other women can be fierce, if you think about it we dress, do our hair, buy shoes, buy expensive purses for each other. We do this to show off to one another, we do not do these things for men. I thought about this in conjunction with trying to fish out all the ways that we as a sex put each other on pedestals. Don't get me wrong I'm not suggesting that we stop doing our hair, or start wearing only sweatpants and a t-shirt but the point I was trying to make was that we could use these opportunities to cut each other some slack and realize that we all have bad days. We all have good days and instead of using those opportunities to put each other down, instead celebrate our differences, learn from our differences, and break down these walls we have built up against one another.
Breaking Down The Wall
The best way to achieve this goal is just to break some of these walls down. The first one being YOU ARE NOT PERFECT!! Meaning, I am not perfect, you are not perfect and we make mistakes. I accept your mistakes as you accept mine and move forward. The second thing is to try to be conscience of your judgement towards others. As in my incident with the women at the supermarket try to remember that you have had those days and if you haven't yet, just wait, you will!! Offer that help!! Remember, someday you might appreciate the favor in return. Third, would be to not to seclude yourself to your own friends. It is more difficult as we get older to make friends, but some of that comes from getting comfortable and not wanting to make new friends. We get stuck with the same people we have hung out with for years or even longer, but we are missing out on relationships that we could really benefit from, and how do we know until we try. We also tend to get stuck with just texting, facebooking, e-mailing. If we want to admit it or not people need, especially women, social interaction with each other. Social interaction is a basic need that humans need and in a world that depends so much on internet, computers, and none social interactions, it is getting harder and harder to achieve.
Therefore, next time you are in a situation where you can strike up a conversation with another women or another mom, do it!! Expand your knowledge, do it without prejudice, and with out judgement and you might be surprised what you find!