Butterflies and Bumblebees
I moved to West Virginia awhile ago. This is the first place I have lived in for longer than 3 years. My average until 1989 considering the 250,000 miles and 18 countries repeatedly visited between 1963 and 1980, and the 8 states and 16 cities I lived, went to school, worked, raised my son for twenty years (from 4 until 24) as a single parent between 1983 and 2002, becomes too confusing for me to compute, or is too confusing for me to care about computing to compute... :) But it is here that I have by circumstance and personal choice spent some 22 years reflecting on a life quest which began in Houston Texas in or around 1961. I use that date simply because I recall with crystal clarity the moment I left religion (Christianity, Southern Baptist Flavor)to use as a legitimate source for the meaning of me. My life. Existential Reality (as in epistemology and metaphysics.)
Prior to the spring of 1960 I have but a handful of memories, many of which I have because they are part of the oral history within my family not because I have a direct personal memory of the experience. I have but three or four, maybe five that I have that direct personal memory of, maybe a few more, but there isn't as much as I have been told there are in most people. The first decade of my life lives in my unconscious.
I have always been attracted to and found it difficult at best not to become emotionally invested in girls and women in my life. One family story that is also one of my personal memories is of the little red haired girl who was my best friend in Hawaii. I was just six or seven or so as was she and we hung out together all the time, from running loose and having our "fort” to eating snails off the beach down the road. I had no idea what love was, in my family that was an extremely confusing and untalked of concept. And come on, I was 7! But even after an argument, and she hit me in the back of my head with a length of 2 x 4 with no warning, knocking me unconscious we retained our friendship. When I asked her why, she said, "You weren't listening to me." When I thought about it, I remembered I had been mimicking her and had turned away in dismissal. This was my standard "reply" when she would make too much sense leaving me feeling dumb. Many times since, I have thanked her for that life lesson, on all its levels! And my attraction to her grew, has continued to this day to remain, that childhood fondness I have for her.
After moving here to West Virginia, through my son, I met a swarm of his friends and associates. I managed a brief "career" as an entertainer he played with for a little over a year. He was a club DJ and was extremely successful in his short time of exposure. I met "Butterfly" (a nickname I gave her which was only used between us. I tended to nickname many of his friends he would bring home to meet me...) just as she was turning sixteen. Before even meeting her, just upon seeing her enter the room with him, I sensed an overwhelming attraction, not in the physical sense, the metaphysical. (This is not a story of kink whatsoever, so please do not take it there.) This has happened several times in my life, over a dozen times, twice only with males, all other times with females and it was always mutual in quantity and quality. In my youth, I would immediately interpret it as sexual, at the least romantic, and would start down that path with the girls... :) As young hormone filled youthful boys will do.
When my son came over with her to introduce her, he prided in the fact that he could introduce his Dad, not as such, but as his Manager, I was so uncomfortable feeling this attraction with which I was familiar, and up until now had always initially labeled "sexual/romantic" with a sixteen year old girl. My son was an extremely popular individual with guys and girls, I met hundreds, literally, of young people through him as he and I had an incredibly close relationship, and never had I felt this old seemingly sensual attraction to any of his friends before, and being the Mystic I have always been, I accepted these feelings, knowing they were mutual, and this young girl and I became friends both of us discovering much about ourselves, feeling safe knowing that we would not have to ever overcome the hurdles and hindrances that sex brings into any male female relationship. It was a nice sweet neutered (platonic, okay) fun relationship. She set me up with several women "my age" and they and I always became friends, I couldn't have chosen for myself as well...
So, we became close and very good friends only a few times pausing in confusion over the way something sounded, blushing, laughing, and moving on, the mutual Trust was unshakable. A few years later, and many of my son’s girlfriends later, though Butterfly and I remained friends always, my son died, and I lost contact with her as I lost contact with everything in my life. Not just because of his death, but a series of losses within a few short years.
About a year ago, nine or so years after my son's funeral, I had built a FaceBook page to catch up with some of these people I had lost contact with since my son's funeral. I just put it out there to see who might stumble on it and to whom else it would lead. I didn't know how to use it, and didn't want to learn something new right then, so I just let it be. I am a great, a huge believer in Synchronicity.
In a few short months I had made contact with over 40 long lost friends, and heard about another 30 or so. It among other things aided in closure over a long endured ordeal. Somewhere, I had begun thinking of specific people and searching for them. One of them was Butterfly. And sure enough there was a page with her shining face beaming on it. If you have a daughter, or can imagine having a daughter, then that is close to how I feel for this young girl. But based on my love for my son, this is a hundred fold stronger. This is one of those we have lived previous lives together relationships if you can believe and accept those kinds of things. Her page was not that much older than mine, but I left a friend request to which she responded, and it was left there, both of us involved with lives that were busy enough to have to respond with one of those, " I can't wait to talk with you, [whenever]" kinds of things.
Two months later, my cell phone buzzed with a text message notification. I didn't recognize the number, and the message was rather long and extensive to someone also named Mike. I responded with an "I don't know you, you might want to check your number, etc." message. The sender replied with "I'm sorry, I was blah, blah etc. Have a nice day..." Out of curiosity and a strange sense in my abdomen, I asked who this was, why would you have this number? She replied with a first name and a brief bio. I replied, "Butterfly?" and got an excited exclamation pointed, capitalized "YES!"
Two minutes later we were having a two hour phone conversation.
Two weeks prior someone she hadn't seen for over a year had been able to give her my phone number which she put into her phone but had not attached a name to it. She was trying to get a hold of this other Mike, but had "unconsciously" sent it to my number. My normal response is to not even reply to these kinds of things, if I don't have your name in my phone and a number pops up instead, I ignore it and wait for a voice mail... I "unconsciously" answered and pursued this unknown.
One day later, we were having a six hour lunch talking about things as if it had been last weekend that we had last seen each other.
Now this is just one thing about this story; Synchronicity and Oneness and a peek into the Universe. I will end this one here on those three thoughts. To me, an even more interesting question and answer facet of this will come in the next hub, for this is longer than I thought. Until then,