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Updated on November 8, 2010

COCKTAIL PARTIES ... by b. Malin

I Dedicate this little "Ditty" to anyone who has ever gotten an Invite to one and Cringed!.....

Do you like COCKTAIL PARTIES, the type where you only know the host or hostess?

Me, personally...I DETEST them, I really do.

I find myself standing around with a drink (preferably white wine) in one hand, and a "little" "Hors-d'oeuvre" in the other.

A fixed "SMILE" upon my face, willing to have a conversation with whomever is close by...

Actually if truth be told, I think I look Desperate! But I also think I HIDE it well.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not the shy type. Really, I'm not.

I LOVE to go DANCING...Sometimes I think I might even be a bit of an Exhibitionist...No I don't disrobe....I've just got good movements on the dance floor, or so I've been told.

BUT at a COCKTAIL PARTY, INSTANT PARANOIA SETS IN...and I will talk to anyone, that will talk to me.

I once had a conversation with a "Frenchmen" who spoke very little English, and my high school French has through the years become a little bit rusty.

Anyway, I thought that we were getting along splendidly, until the Hostess drew me aside and said, "Dear, do be careful, Jacques knows very little English and is probably telling you some pretty NASTY DIRTY JOKES IN FRENCH".

With that she patted me on the shoulder and left me standing there as she went off to greet some newly arrived guests.

I meanwhile stood there with my soggy, melted, WHATEVER in my hand, feeling pretty silly.

However, it didn't bother "good old Jacques" who'd already engaged himself in conversation with a tall good looking blonde...whom I secretly hoped didn't major in French!

I just got a phone call from a friend who's invited me to a COCKTAIL PARTY next Saturday. She says it's going to be LOADS OF FUN...Lots of Fun People will be there.

It's HOLIDAY TIME...Lots of old friends will be there...and it wouldn't be a Party without me. She sounds so desperate.

Does she know my TRUE FEELINGS? Are you kidding? And PLEASE don' t tell.

And will I go...What do you think?



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    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 7 years ago

      But you gotta love the humor of these situations! So glad you're back...I've got to come over for breakfast! See you soon breakfastpop.

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 7 years ago

      This reminds me of an old That Girl episode with Marlo Thomas. She was invited to a cocktail party where she didn't know anyone.. She walked from group to group uttering the word "mingle". Mingle mingle mingle mingle. I'm with you. I hate being in this kind of situation.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 7 years ago

      Hi sammyfiction...Glad you stopped by...True, Cocktail Parties can be such a drag...Thank you for your input. Look forward to reading your Hubs as well.

    • sammyfiction profile image

      Sammy 7 years ago from Australia

      Cocktail parties I think are another way of disguising a business do. Like a work get together that the bosses are trying to jazz up a bit!

      And the little food they give out - i'd rather chips and nibbles from a table thanks!

      Nice Hub :) SF

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 7 years ago

      Hey, you've got me blushing epigramman...Glad you enjoyed, it means a lot to me. Thank you.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 7 years ago

      ......can you say, cocktail party - no - but if you're there - it's an entirely different story because your hubs are like parties but without the BS and the pretense and there's a real life flesh and blood person here who is true, honorable, righteous, and just mighty fine making me think, feel and keepin' the faith!!!!

    • dianeaugust profile image

      dianeaugust 7 years ago from Tennessee

      jaggedfrost--I'll take any kind of cocktail someone gives me--whether for the morning after or the night before--if it's free, then I imagine it comes with some caveat about NO projectile vomiting, right? :-) DA

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 7 years ago

      DIANEAUGUST...I think we have the same type of really made me smile, and laugh, especially about the PTA...those were the days...and me with my "dry wit"... Thanks so much for your fun comments, and for stopping by...and summing it up so beautifully!

      JAGGEDFROST, you are such a "fun" full of'd probably liven up any party as soon as you walked through the door...or they'd be dead meat!

    • Jaggedfrost profile image

      Jaggedfrost 7 years ago

      I am telepathically sending you a tomato juice screwdriver mung for your social hang over. If it gives you socially a tummy upset and projectile vomiting then... sorry lol.

    • dianeaugust profile image

      dianeaugust 7 years ago from Tennessee

      Oh, I hate cocktail parties, too. I'm such the introvert, even though I have a funny sense of humor and love teaching, etc., I register 100 on the introvert scale on the Meyers Briggs Personality Indicator. Who can figure these things out? Someone said, being an introvert or extrovert has to do with where we gather our energy. If you have to go home from a party and recover b/c it has drained you, then you probably enjoy your own personal cocktail hour rather than gooey hors-d'ouervres and wine.

      I remember an article written by Rheta Grimsley Johnson for the Atlanta Journal where she talked about her mom being committee-phobic. When I read that article, the answers arrived as to why I never wanted to be PTA President or serve on committees. Committees can be like little cocktail parties without the cocktails--which is even worse. Extroverted people draw energy from such environments. I'm so glad God made a bunch of extroverts who can savor the cocktail party, the dirty French jokes, and save ME from having to go! I still go out when I want, but I know now that a party is something I'm going to have to recover from--kind of having social hangover. Good luck at your holiday parties. I'll be thinking of you!

    • Jaggedfrost profile image

      Jaggedfrost 7 years ago

      Oh of course, we can say anything you like with white wine in your hand. You are the host here. I won't try to speak to you in French though, sober or not. Those words I know I cant make sentences of and they say I speak them with a Spanish accent anyhow.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 7 years ago

      Hey can we all say "satire"...Again Jaggedfrost thank you! Your comments are appreciated, and I'm glad you liked this Hub anyway!

    • Jaggedfrost profile image

      Jaggedfrost 7 years ago

      lol then I won't take you too terribly seriously unless you ask for it. I only wonder if it isn't too late. I liked the article just the same.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 7 years ago

      Jaggedfrost....again I was only having fun with the whole scene...My sense of humor (pardon the pun) is considered "dry wit"...I'm a cut up with close friends...however I do venture out into the world of "Cocktail Parties". Thanks for becoming a follower.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 7 years ago

      Christopher Price, I thought I was showing some "tongue and cheek" humor about Holiday parties..but you're advise is GOOD...I'll take it!

    • Jaggedfrost profile image

      Jaggedfrost 7 years ago

      I must concur with Chris, No sense in going to a Cocktail party if one of two things isn't true:

      There is no one there you actually find interesting and you have no desire to find out

      You aren't hammered so your inhibitions probably are very much in your way of doing anything that remotely sounds fun.

    • Christopher Price profile image

      Christopher Price 7 years ago from Vermont, USA

      It's called a "Cocktail" party. I suggest you arrange for a designated driver, slam a couple jello shots and forgo the wine for a mixed drink. Then even if the party is as pleasant as a root canal you'll just sail through it and be surprised at the stories the next day about how much fun you had.




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