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How to Stop Being a Clingy Girlfriend

Updated on May 1, 2018
Mary Florence profile image

Mary Florence has been a freelance writer for over 5 years and she enjoys writing articles on general topics.

Maybe you have met a new man and you are very excited about your relationship. So you want to communicate with him every chance you get. You want to spend a lot of time with him. You invite yourself to his meet-ups with his friends and family. He's even starting to complain about being suffocated.

Being clingy can be a turn off. Just because someone is in a relationship with you does not mean that his life and your lives are now inter-twined 100%. Some men really don't want that. It also makes you seem like an idle person or even someone who is obsessed.

What makes people Clingy?

woman holding man's hand
woman holding man's hand | Source

Excitement

You probably have been single for a long while and suddenly have a new boyfriend whom you are excited about and it seems like everything going on in your life has taken a back-seat because you want to focus on this new man. So you subconsciously make the person the center of your world. Or you have met someone whom you feel is the real deal. Like when you date your crush or someone whom you are genuinely attracted to.

You just don't have a life

Nothing is keeping you busy. You probably have busy friends. You don't have a hobby. So you just want to spend your days communicating with this new man and showing up wherever he is on impulse.

You are insecure

You think keeping him on tabs will keep him faithful. Maybe you had a past with unfaithful men or maybe you just do not trust him. So you want everyone to know that you are an item. You tag him on photos online, hang out with him everywhere, always checking up on him and the next thing, you move in with him.

So how can you stop being clingy?

1. Do not press that dial

No matter how tempting it is to text or call him, avoid it. It's going to be difficult when you start the challenge but you will soon get used to it.

Unfollow him on social media and fight the urge to snoop on his wall just so you do not respond to his updates. Give him his space and a chance to miss you. Absence does make the heart grow fonder.

2. Just Get a Life

Acting like he is your whole life could put him off. Go back to the life you had before he came into it and leave it at that. You have to be comfortable in your life for you not to "suffocate" someone with your attention.

Get a hobby. Hang out with your friends. Don't be available everytime he calls for you. Let him see that you have your own life.

3. Do not Speak out Your Future Plans with him

Do not talk about moving in, having children or getting married early on in the relationship. Let it all happen naturally for a while. Give yourself some time until you are sure that you have the same goal.

The commitment topics will sprout by themselves. But if it's taking too long and he's seemingly enjoying a casual relationship with you, you have to ask. Take the risk and ask him where you stand with him so that you can know how to relate with him.

4. Do not show up at the meet-ups he's having with Family and Friends univited

So you are already getting on his nerves with your clinginess but you still want to be in his circle?

As he talks about intending to meet his family and friends just listen. If he invites you nice. If not, nice too find something to keep you pre-occupied during that time.

5. Go easy on the PDAs (Public Display of Affection)

He already knows you are clingy try not to make it worse by literally clinging onto him. Give him space.

Just because you are a couple doesn't mean you are joined at the hip. This man is already feeling suffocated and the PDAs will repulse him further.

6. Be with someone who really likes you

Chances are that you are not even a clingy person. You just like the man a lot. A man who doesn't like you that much will be put off by your attempts at being nice to him.He probably considers you a nuisance. Maybe he wishes you didn't communicate with him at all.

It's never too early to speak about future plans. But someone who doesn't like you that much will label you as 'clingy' if you bring up such topics. You could be getting excited about someone who just doesn't like you as you imagine he does. Consider walking away or you'll soon be a sad victim of unrequited love.

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    • Mary Florence profile imageAUTHOR

      Mary Florence 

      11 months ago

      Thanks so much for that.

    • fer-nie profile image

      Fernando Gonzalez 

      11 months ago from Riverside County, CA

      I like this post, and I can tell you have expertise. It's unfortunate that a lot of us have to feel this way. After all, at some point in my life I realized I, myself, was being too clingy. It's definitely a relative thing, because not all girlfriends and boyfriends are the same. Some need more affection than others. However, in the end, relatively speaking, we all need something to do in order to keep us away from hitting that dial. At least, that's all it takes in order to keep the relationship going, especially for those that essentially find being clingy a deal breaker.

      Aside from that, the most craziest concept is the fact that these little modifications to ones' life goes a long way. By changing now, you're pretty much impacting your future and things that you couldn't have before are attainable now. Just a thought, really.

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