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Can Past Lover Be Friends?

Updated on May 31, 2020
Past memories
Past memories

Lovers then friends, how can we get along and just be friends.

How can we show affection for one another than do a one eighty

and never see each other in that way again,

can past flirtations be forgiven enough for frienship?

Can we learn from our mistakes and forgive those who betrayed our love.

Some things must stay in the past; why bring back old hurts if things

can never be the same again. Or can we forgive and forget and never look back,

I just can't see a world where we can only be friends therfore past relations

are a no go. Leave it all in the past for those in our future can get hurt.


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    • xxspfrkxx profile imageAUTHOR

      Samantha Stoerkel 

      2 years ago from Miami

      I love this! someone understands :) love your feedback!

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      2 years ago from Chicago

      Yes, it's possible to go from lovers to being friends.

      However it usually requires a LARGE GAP in time!

      Generally speaking after both people have found new love or happiness with other people or have moved on emotionally.

      It is unrealistic to expect to go from being "red hot lovers" to "instant platonic friends" resembling being siblings.

      Consider the Possible Motives for the Friendship

      Sometimes the person ending the relationship offers "friendship" as a (consolation prize) in order not to feel like the "bad guy".

      Deep down they really don't want to be friends but feel bad for breaking someone's heart. Your ex is the last person who can help you get over them! The "no contact rule" is usually best.

      The person who is dumped accepts the "friendship" offer because they secretly hope by being around them they have a shot at reconciliation. Sometimes exes end up having sex. While the broken hearted thinks they're getting back together they end up hurt again when they realize it was just "sex" for their (ex).

      You have to "let go" in order to "move on".

      For most people this means putting away all items and reminders of their ex, blocking phone numbers/emails/texts, unfriending in social media, and avoid going places you know your ex frequents. Refuse to respond to any notes/cards/gifts sent to you by them.

      The best friendships between exes as I stated usually occur after a large gap in time and two people just happen to bump into one another. The opposite of love is not hate. It's indifference.

      When you reach a point where when you see or hear from your ex and no longer feel drawn back to the past you're ready to be friends.

      Having said that it's easier for ex-lover to become a woman's friend than it is for a guy in her "friend zone" to become her lover.

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