ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Can someone tell me how to grow up

Updated on August 25, 2016

The Experts curse

I’ve been trying to grow up a lot lately. I mean like literally become a grown up if you know what I mean. When I turned 23 my brain went into overdrive and I had some of the most debauched, crazy living of my life. Most of it was in private thank God. I was single, idle, had a good track record for bad decisions, and oodles of cash. Yes I said oodles. I did whatever came to mind and tried and tried and tried to see how far I could go. I kept my demons nice and watered with alcohol so they could keep a lid on my conscience. When I got bored, I would get in the car late at night and drive to the highway to play 10. I don’t know if I invented the game, but I certainly haven’t heard anyone else play or mention it. The premise is you get up to 80 km/h in the middle lane, then you close your eyes and see how far up to 10 you can count. To be “safe” the only rules were I never played when I was inebriated, or during the day. The closest I ever got was 8 and I opened my eyes just to keep from peeing my pants. It is honestly a miracle I didn’t kill anyone. I didn’t even get a fender bender. I don’t even know why I stopped playing that game though. Nothing “cosmic” happened that I could have taken as a sign to stop. I just knew when to quit I guess. That year came and went I started to try to decipher growing up. Who knew it would be so much work? I honestly thought that I would go to sleep when I was 17 and wake up a grown up at 18. Same went for when I was turning 21. So in the end I never did figure out that one step that would change it all. I think I finally figured out why I can’t find the answers. In the meantime though, I cultivated the image that I’m your run-of-the-mill dashing young man with a bright future ahead of him. While this is true it has nothing to do with how I cracked the code. To be fair I haven’t cracked the code so much as figured out why I can’t. It’s definitely because I know too much. So much that I can’t objectively figure out where what is. Plus there’s always everyone chiming in with you ought/you should/you must/ and so and so. I’d honestly like to turn over daily live to the stars but astrology is a bunch of baloney. Then there’s that thing at this church I used to work at where they say “surrender your whole life to Christ.” I mean, I understand the words, just not what I’m supposed to do about the day to day. Trusting fate is always an option but I’m way too impatient for that. The only option left is to make a list of things/places/people I want to do and just work through it. I don’t know why the rest of you became grownups but I did it so I’d have time for things like that.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)