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Can You Have Your Cake and Eat It Too?

Updated on January 15, 2020

From the friend zone to the in zone!!!

Growing up as a kid my parents always told me you cant have your cake and eat it too. Back then I didn't know what the hell they were talking about. Matter of fact I didn't even give a damn because I thought they were crazy for even saying something like that to me. What the hell I look like being a thirteen year old girl, whom by the way was not on the skinny end of the stick but could shoot a mean three pointer like it was no tommorow, wanting to have a piece of cake, let alone eating one. I laughed in my mind and shrugged my shoulders and said alright daddy, even though deep down I thought he was the craziest man alive. Growing up though it made me realize why they told me that phrase to begin with. Never in life are you allowed to have two things. Meaning if you pray to God that one day you hit the lotto because you wanna buy a bigger house for your family but then you get blessed with just a house and no winning lotto ticket, you can't be mad about it. Your hearts desire was for you to win so you can buy a bigger house, not for both things. That's what it means when you can't have your cake and eat it too. But does that pertain to relationships? Could this be used regarding that? After this little story maybe you can decide is this true or false? So I been friends with this person for a long time. I've known them for a longer time. We always had this brother/sister relationship. The kind where we can joke around, call each other names...stuff like that. This was a person who would get on my nerves with the comments and stuff he would say on social media on my page. Examples include "heat suck", Lebron James is wack etc... You get the picture right? Anyways as years go by I know deep down I desired to be with him. He was like my fantasy. The kind of fantasy I would not like to say at this time but if you put two and two together you get the picture. I desperately so bad wanted him in every way. His gorgeous eyes, his big juicy lips, his big muscular body, damn I wanted it all. But the only problem was that no one could ever suspect I felt like that toward him because i knew the whole family. When I say I knew them all I really did. Well anyways it wasn't till the beginning of the year when my true feelings came out and I just went in for the kill and told him. What the hell? I thought. The worst thing that could happen to me is that he just shoots me down and says he ain't feeling me like that. But that sure wasn't the case in this book. Actually I got the total opposite. Come to find out he felt the same way. Well needless to say we still are " talking" . we actually got to go behind everyone's back and secretly talk due to that there are so many situations going on with this I don't feel like explaining. Sometimes I feel like is it possible for us to still have that friendship we once had and a relationship at the same time? Like why the hell not I think. Sometimes we do have our moments when it does bring me back to when we just were cool with each other but now that so many things and situations have brought us closer I feel like theres no way you can. All I want is just to have my cake and eat it too!! Damn, why do parents always gotta be right???

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    • rjbatty profile image

      rjbatty 

      5 years ago from Irvine

      The having your cake and eating it too is a reference to what you seem to be currently experiencing. Having read your other Hub, I get the picture.

      What you conveniently left out here is that you are a married woman. Perhaps you wrote this prior to actually cheating on your husband. Perhaps you wrote this piece hoping to find some support with your licentiousness.

      Your "best friend" should be your husband. If that's an impossibility then just get out of it and be with the person who brings you the most inner-satisfaction. You can't be timid about facing some of these harsh realities of life. You cannot turn your life into a pretense. You aren't preserving anything by pretending to be a wife. It just doesn't work.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      5 years ago from Chicago

      You can't eat your cake and have it. (That's the reality)

      Lots of people swear by taking their time to get to know someone or "be friends first" and allow it to evolve into a relationship if it was meant to be.

      The truth of the matter is very few men put attractive women in the "friend zone". In fact I suspect it was a guy who came up with the phrase "Friend Zone" after being told over and over again by women that they see him as being "friend". I've never put a sexy girl in the "friend zone".

      My theory is people only put others in the "friend zone" when they don't feel attracted to them. Rarely does someone suggest being friends with someone who'd they want to be in a relationship with. They wouldn't want to risk leaving them on the "open market". After all there is no such thing as being "exclusive friends"! Next thing you know they'll ask you for dating advice.

      Imagine being the sounding board for someone you have a crush on!

      Based upon my experience it's far more easier for your "significant other" to also become your best friend than it is for a best friend to become a significant other. Odds are there are things you might tell your best friend that you would not want your mate to know and vice versa.

      Life is a (personal) journey!

      Ride the wave and see where it takes you!

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