Can you stop the pain
You can heal and stop the pain when you say what you desire.
Forgiveness is the way!
One opinion about how you can stop the pain.
A subject like this one is something that everyone can relate to. The question is do we really understand the reason for experiencing pain? Pain lets us know that this is the total opposite to what we would call pleasurable, desirable or acceptable. You see, sad love songs are popular today and forgiveness love songs are not too popular today. Wouldn't you say something is wrong with that? Even though we can all relate to that, I must express that magnifying/glorifying/marketing pain is not healthy at all for anyone. Would you agree?
It is not uncommon nevertheless heart breaking to wittiness that often some are programmed to believe that for them relationships just do not work because of their previous experiences in relationships. Fathers and mothers who have (lovingly) embraced, encouraged, disciplined, supported and believed in their children have better relationships with other people later on down the road. The greatest support group begins at home, with family, then with friends and so on. However the road you've come down, even in a bleek and uncaring upbringing their is still hope to be loving and to be loved. If your relationship has been manipulated and sadly ruined by mothers and fathers who have abused their responsibilities for not properly caring for their children, those individuals (at some point) will have and forgive and forget their hardened past and learn how to love as soon as possible if they want to experience REAL LOVE and give.
Ever heard of the phrase, "you only can withdraw what was deposited in your account".
Your account is your life, your history and your present in this example. We can only withdraw what we have deposited in our spirits. If one has deposited un-forgiveness one can only withdraw that. If one has never invested the time to learn about someone, one can only guess, assume about who that individual really is.
Parents tend to raise their children as they were raised. There are parents who want better for their children then they had it and THANK GOD FOR THEM! :) REALLY!
Every loving parent should, however there are some who have an unhealthy desire to manipulate and control people (their children) that they will cause their children to run from them as soon as they can or worse they'll go through life assuming love is a fairy tale that only fools believe in.
At times we are to blame when we are old enough to see the signs that this is not love and we should not allow this to be apart of our lives.
Life is important. Whatever we believe in, we bring life to it :)
DID YOU GET THAT? :)
If you have been hurt before in a relationship whether it be your mother, father, sister, brother, girlfriend, boyfriend, friend etc. we have the conscious ability (within us all) to move on, to rise up from the pits of shame and blame and forgive those that have done us wrong. Only thing that has to happen is we have to decide to do so. Why? If we don't subconsciously we will only reproduce what we've experienced. Our subconsciousness is so, so very powerful. Whatever we've experienced and whatever we've said or heard etc. you guessed it, "it's in there". So if we don't forgive and begin to act out this, we'll only continue down the path that we know all to well. A mirroring effect if you will.
One will assume that vengeance is the recipe for life, a personal (and unloving desire) has to be served or one who harbors those upsetting memories feel that since my childhood was damaged, or my all ex's have left me, hurt me, cheated on me or no one takes me seriously, that life is suppose to be like this and I guess I have to deal with it and so does everyone else I deal with!.........OUCH.......that's not right.
We have to give up on vengeance to truly forgive.
Now when we give up vengeance, we must make sure we are not giving up on justice. There is a thin line between the two. Vengeance is our own pleasure of seeing someone who has hurt us/wronged us and we feel (with clouded reasoning) by getting them back (and then some) we will feel better.
WRONG! The truth is even when we get them back it we will not feel it is enough. Unforgiveness in it truiest form knows no limits. And when we take action for revenge, we will in some way attract, experience the same in return. It's a never ending cycle that when it runs its course it will leave one bitter, lifeless and troubled for years to come.
Justice, on the other hand, is secure when someone pays a fair penalty for wronging another and the injured person should take no pleasure in the transaction but instead pity them. Vengeance is personal satisfaction. Justice is moral accounting. Forgiveness does not do away with justice, in fact it is an empowering neighbor to justice, that can start the healing to many wounds from within." Don't dwell on the injustice, dwell on healing you, forgiving you and forgiving them.
My advice is to forgive as soon as you can however don't become slow forgiver or worse an un-forgiver. There is a right moment to forgive and no one but you know when that is. When you decide what it is you that you want, how you want to feel and you want your life back, forgive. When you want your joy back, when you believe that life has so much more to offer you and that you deserve to be loved and you won't allow past pain to harbor in your present life which can dominate your future......when you've had it and you want change.....you will just have to forgive. It won't be easy but far from impossible.
Never stay in a situation/relationship/business arrangement that causes you continual pain with no sign of relief. Look for it. Pray for an open door, a way of escape, an exit to the life you deserve. A breath of fresh air for the well deserved new you. Those that do this hurting are victims of un-forgiveness doing their best to poison you with their problem which can be helped except they either don't want to be helped or don't know how to get help.
In a cheating relationship? YOU DESERVE BETTER! GET OUT OF THAT.
In a unfulfilled job/career/opportunity?
YOU DESERVE BETTER! LOOK ELSEWHERE ON YOU DAY OFF AND QUIT WHEN YOU ARE HIRED ELSEWHERE!
On a lighter note deep down we all desire to be loved/respected and accepted.
We all came from love. God is Love. God loves us all.
By forgiving we are taking on the act of our creator. :)
FORGIVENESS IS LOVE IN ACTION.
Check out these quotes on forgiveness.........
Quotes on Forgiveness
Lewis B. Smedes - Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve
"You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.".
"You can forgive someone almost anything. But you cannot tolerate everything...We don't have to tolerate what people do just because we forgive them for doing it. Forgiving heals us personally. To tolerate everything only hurts us all in the long run."
"Gandhi was right: if we all live by 'an eye for an eye' the whole world will be blind. The only way out is forgiveness."
"When you give up vengeance, make sure you are not giving up on justice. The line between the two is faint, unsteady, and fine...Vengeance is our own pleasure of seeing someone who hurt us getting it back and then some. Justice, on the other hand, is secure when someone pays a fair penalty for wronging another even if the injured person takes no pleasure in the transaction. Vengeance is personal satisfaction. Justice is moral accounting...Human forgiveness does not do away with human justice."
"We attach our feelings to the moment when we were hurt, endowing it with immortality. And we let it assault us every time it comes to mind. It travels with us, sleeps with us, hovers over us while we make love, and broods over us while we die. Our hate does not even have the decency to die when those we hate die--for it is a parasite sucking OUR blood, not theirs. There is only one remedy for it. [forgiveness]
"The problem with revenge is that it never gets what it wants; it never evens the score. Fairness never comes. The chain reaction set off by every act of vengeance always takes its unhindered course. It ties both the injured and the injurer to an escalator of pain...Why do family feuds go on and on?...the reason is simple: no two people, no two families, ever weigh pain on the same scale."
WE ALL KNOW IT'S NOT EASY BUT IF YOU WANT THE BEST IN LIFE TO COME IN YOUR LIFE WE MUST BE BRAVE, BE STRONG, BELIEVE IN OURSELVES, SAY TO OURSELVES "I CAN DO IT", "I WILL DO IT", BELIEVE IN LOVE, LET GO OF THE PAIN AND FORGIVE.
BECAUSE YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THAT!
Can you stop the pain? Yes........yes you can. :)
DID YOU KNOW THAT SOUNDS, CERTAIN SOUNDS CAN HELP WITH HEALING?
CLICK HERE, GO TOWARDS THE MIDDLE OF THE BLOG WHEN YOU SEE LOTS OF YOUTUBE VIDEOS AND PLAY THEM.
Sample prayer of forgiveness
Father in Heaven I thank you for giving me the strength to face this challenge and to have the victory starting today. I have been hurt by (you fill in the blank) and I need your help so that I can completely follow through and not go back to what I used to feel about this. All things are possible to those who believe......and I believe I receive what I am asking for.
I in the name of Jesus Christ, forgive (you fill in the blank) and desire to be set free from all the pains that I used to nurse and all the memories I used to rewind in my mind about them. I ask and thank you Father God for forgiving me. Whether I did anything wrong or not in that relationship, I will forgive and ask you father God to help me heal and to forgive this person starting today. In Jesus' name today the blaming stops, right now and by faith I heal starting today, right now in Jesus name.
I ask for your help now to help me get through this and to wish/desire/hope (you fill in the blank) well, that (you fill in the blank) will be led to change for the better and that nothing by any means will hinder (you fill in the blank) in this change. Whether they change or not I still in Jesus name forgive them by faith....I believe I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me! So in Jesus' name I have the power to forgive and I choose to forgive them starting today, not tomorrow, right now. Holy Spirit bless me with your presence and let me soak in your presence each day so that I can heal properly. I ask and expect you to do so today in Jesus' name.
I thank you for your burden removing, yoke destroying, almighty hand which is keeping me and building me up higher and higher each day so that I can testify about this to another and help them in their time of need. What happened to me was the past. It's all gone. IT'S TIME! FORGIVENESS STARTS NOW FOR (you fill in the blank). By faith I am free from this pain. By faith I now wish them well even this very moment. I ask that you continue to help me keep this word that I have released so that I will be a good steward of my word. I thank you so much for building me up and keeping me safe and even (you fill in the blank) safe. Forgiveness isn't easy but it is possible and I believe I am a forgiver. I can do all things through Jesus. I am blessed and loved by you father God and this I know. I believe this. Thank you for loving me and holding me up so that I will be a blessing to as many as possible in the present and future and thank you for forgiving me of my sins in Jesus' name Amen.