Is your Partner Cheating? How to Tell.
The betrayer in this article is deemed to be a ‘he’ for the sake of convenience, but we all know that it can just as easily be a ‘she’. If it were a ‘she’, you can bet your bottom dollar that the ‘he’ wouldn’t find out until the ‘she’ spelled it out for him – as she was packing her bags.
Ottawa, the Extra Marital Capital
According to Ashley Madison, the self styled '# 1 website for Discreet Affairs', Ottawa is the 'cheater-friendly' capital of Canada; at least that's what the capital's daily newspaper, the Ottawa Citizen, reported. The news was surprising, considering that Ottawa is a stuck up city which is sneered at by most other Canadian cities.
More extraordinary were the figures; seemingly 38,000 capital citizens admit to being 'would-be-cheaters. 'Would be' almost certainly means 'of course I have but I'm not going to admit it to the world'. Considering that a bit of extra-marital rumpy-pumpy isn't normally broadcast, the 38,000 figure can easily be tripled.
If you live in Ottawa, and are contemplating having a bit on the side, the above news will have your heart beating faster, as you realise that for once you live in the right place. Or do you? Consider your reason for yearning to stray off the straight and narrow. Have you and your partner had a tiff, or is the partnership jaded? Whatever the reason, do you think that you are the only half of the equation who feels as you do? Could your partner be one of those 38,000?
Could she be your first online date? To think, not long ago it took a whiff of perfume or lipstick on his collar to prove a partner's infidelity; now the fear is that you may meet him as you secretly browse the net.
Working Late – Again?
We’re all used to our partners working late; let’s face it, we’ve all had to work late at one time or another. And the expression ‘working late’ is no longer a synonym for having it off in a cheap motel room. But if your partner seems to be working late more frequently and accidentally leaving his cell phone at home, give the motel room some serious thought. The reasons for working late are normally caused by their workplace getting a large order, auditing, inventory, Christmas or many other seasonal holidays. If he is in the habit of bitching about working late and has started casually mentioning it as he leaves in the morning, put your anti-affair senses on amber alert.
If your hubby begins to worry about his looks and how he dresses, his infidelity fuse is smouldering. Before you go the whole hog and hire a PI to follow him, try the helpful route; recommend his most revolting clothes before he leaves in the morning. Keep telling him how manly his under-arm odour is. And...when it comes to haircuts, suggest that you can do a better and less expensive job for him, and then give him a bowl cut. All of these little things will help prevent the fuse igniting.
Does he have a pet name for you? Are you ‘Sweetheart, Lover, Princess, Love of my Life or simply Sexy’? Isn’t that romantic. There wouldn’t be any romance if he called you by your first name all the time; but then again, if your name’s Janet, when did he last call you Janet?
It could be that the pet name is a great way of ensuring he doesn’t call you by his bit-of-fluff’s pet name.
Think about it – when you meet someone you haven’t met for a while you tend to greet them with a ‘Hi friend, or ‘Buddy, how are you?’ until your memory runs through the remembering process. Could it be that way with your partner? The next time he calls you by your first name, check for a nanosecond’s hesitation. That pause could be his memory ensuring that he is speaking to his lawful partner and not his extra-marital partner. If he does call you by another name – perhaps the name of the person he is having lustful imaginings about – take a note of the name and over time, skilfully find out if he has a workmate with that name. Tease the info from him the way that only wives can – and then work out your revenge.
When did he last touch you? Cast your mind back to the first few years of your marriage.
Remember when every time you met each other in a doorway you would perhaps not cuddle every time, but definitely caress or touch each other? What happens now? Does he stand off to one side and allow you touch-free passage?
When was the last time you conversed eye to eye?
When was the last time he told you he loved you?
When was the last time he initiated lovemaking?
Have you noticed that you are going out for dinner less often? Could this be because he is scared you run into the other woman, or people who only know him with the other woman; people who think you are the bit-on-the-side. But it is more likely to be because he has squandered so much cash on her that he can’t afford to take you out.
When he introduces you to his friends, does he have to look at you to double check that he is introducing the correct woman – by the correct name? If you are having dinner out with a couple, look for any knowing looks between her and yours.
But then, you may not be interested in your partner’s dilly-dallying. You may be too busy looking up all the infidelity sites - where you are guaranteed an affair. And if you live in Ottawa, you may be licking your lips at the multitude of available talent.
© John MacNab all right reserved as Janet Roylance 2013